About Me

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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I Really Like Your Scooters!

Yesterday afternoon, The Husband and my two "big" girls were sent into a WAWA to procure cold drinks and a giant coffee (for guess who). Frankie and I chose to stay in the van instead of going in the store. 

Of course, we heard them coming, long before we saw them. When the two custom, completely tricked out and meticulously shined to perfection Harley Davidsons and their ginormous, tattooed riders, came rip-roaring into the parking lot and pulled into the empty parking space next to me and my kid, I mean, who couldn't help but stare?  

When I saw Frankie's little finger reaching over to hit the down button on the power window, I had a bad feeling well up inside me. Surely, she wasn't going to, yep, she absolutely started to wave the bikers over  to our minivan. It was too late for me to stop it, and I sat their immobilized, just waiting for the shiz to hit the fan. Never in  a million years did I think my kid was going to lean her little body all the way out of my vehicle, just so she could enthusiastically shout out to these two leather clad road warriors:
                      Hi guys! I really like your scooters! 

Aaaaack!  I watched the faces on these two tough as nails dudes morph from shock and awe, to pure unadulterated joy. The larger of the two, who looked like he's seen his share of some hard time, shook his head and belly laughed for a full minute. I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am that they both took Frankie's well meaning yet enormous insult from the good, innocent place it was coming from. When they pulled it together, the large one replied, "Why, thank you,  Little Lady!"  And I breathed a very large, sigh of relief.

Of course, I found the look on The Husband's face when we pulled out of the parking lot and he saw those two wild and unsavory characters leaning over their Harleys, waving madly and shouting heart felt good-byes to his youngest,  PRICELESS. 

Friday, August 24, 2012

Learner's Permit

Hey Everyone-  No Friday Fact or Fiction theme I came up with was really inspiring me, so I'm going with my gut here and writing about what's really going on with me today.

Ever since she told me she took the written test, and was out driving around for her six hours of instruction, all I can think about is my niece Holly, getting her learner's permit.

Where did the time go? Here's how I will always picture my daughters, driving:
Check out Farrah riding dirty with a juice box, her Teddy, and her homey Frankie.

It simultaneously breaks my heart and fills me with joy, whenever my nieces hit a milestone, (like driving) because her mother isn't here to celebrate them anymore. And I still can't believe she's gone.

I know by now I should have come to grips with the fact that my sister is gone. But I guess things like this, just  make me miss her all the more. I will gladly celebrate all of the successes in my nieces lives, and continue to support them in any way I possibly can. But I can never  be who or what they need, and that really kills  me.

When my kids hurt, or something's wrong,  I am always there to "fix" it. This is something I can't "fix" for either my nieces or myself. God, how I wish that I could! I wish that my sister was still here, and my family could be whole again. I wish that I could throw my arms around her, hear her laugh, see that brilliant smile of hers again. I miss her so much. And when her girls are doing such grown up things, like learning to drive, I guess, I guess it just makes her loss hit me hard, all over again!

My niece has grown into such a spectacular, beautiful young lady. She's truly beautiful, inside and out and I am so very proud of her. I know her mother would be too. She looks and acts like her so much, sometimes I have to stop and catch my breath when she enters the room. When I look at her, I know I'm looking at a piece of my sister, that's still tethered here on earth. I know my sister is free now. She's free from all that pain, suffering and this life. I look forward to one day, being reunited with her and that's what helps me press on.  That, and the very special gift of my nieces. Those two girls bring so much joy to my life. I just wish I could return the favor.

We played this Switchfoot song at my sister's memorial. It still moves me every single time I hear it.

Thursday, August 23, 2012


Sooo, today I found out I have been officially "unfriended" by someone on Facebook. This is the first time this ever happened, because I don't accept friend requests from random people I don't know. Suffice it to say, this was someone I have known for years, and once liked and respected. All that changed however, (for both of us I guess) in the past forty-eight hours.

Here's the deal....the person who unfriended me was dating a very close friend's son. For some inane reason, she decided to post some very unflattering things about him and his family, all over FB. Not the smartest move. Honestly, maybe she wanted to end their relationship or maybe she was completely wasted. Maybe, she is just really, truly that dumb. Because the things she posted were NOT ok. Not only did she choose to slam him, but to add in his momma and his sisters? WHAT was she thinking? 

Of course, as soon as I saw it, I  had to call my friend and tell her. And I wasn't the only one who saw that crap and called her. Making that call, was a no brainer, for me. I felt I owed it to my friend, to make sure she knew the truth of how this person really felt about her family. I lost any and all respect I had for her, the minute she posted that lunacy online. I guess she lost any and all respect she had for me, when I made that call.

So, I have to ask, what would you have done? Would you have made that call, immediately alerting your friend, or would you have minded your own business, and stayed out of it? Maybe you would have waited, just to see how it all panned out?  Let me know, I'm curious which of  you would have been "unfriended" too.

Friday, August 17, 2012

What I Did Yesterday, Show and Tell

Happy Friday All. These past few days have been cray-cray! So instead of doing my regular Friday Fact or Fiction post, I thought  I would do a little show and tell about what I did yesterday.

Hung out with Ben Franklin, my girls and my mom. (MIA from this picture: The Husband. He prefers to be behind the camera, instead of in front of it.)

Learned all about electricity. Received lots and  lots of electrical shocks.

Performed lots of experiments.

The girls were amazing at these experiments! They make me so proud. (I couldn't figure out how half of that shiz works!)

Tried to convince this dude he can stop working out  now.  He's done.

Followed the girls into the giant heart. But it was just  too claustro up in there for me-
so I had to punk out :(

Made lots of new friends, like  HALL, who is a ROCK STAR. We lurve him. See Faith's A Foodie's review about the food, later on, if you're interested in reading more on that.

Found out there are tools in space, as well as on earth.

Frankie was totally freaked out by this, "Do you think we are alone in the universe?" program.
Hmm, I'm predicting "alien" nightmares in our future... 

 Learned about "Black Holes" inside the Fels Planetarium.  This was very awesomely narrated by Qui-Gon Jinn a/k/a Liam Neeson (for all of you non-Star Wars geeks.)
Had quite a bit of  trouble seeing in the dark. Had to bust out the glasses...

BEST part of the day, for me (besides spending time with my family): getting a glimpse at the Dead Sea Scrolls! No flashes are allowed inside the exhibit, so these pictures are kind of dark. Also, after a certain point, (the bathtub) you are not allowed to take any photos at all.  I strongly encourage anyone who lives close enough, to go see this exhibit now, before it moves on. Here are just a few of the amazing artifacts you will see:


The girls really loved seeing this ancient Archer since they are all avid archers, themselves.

Sorry, no more photos are permitted, after the tub.

If you didn't guess what I did yesterday, I went to The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Farrah asked to go see the Dead Sea Scrolls, for her 10th birthday present. How cool is that? It was a stellar day. One I hope she remembers for a long, long, time.

Today is my mom's birthday, which we will be celebrating later on. The party never stops over here at the Bird's  Nest.What did you do yesterday? Have any great plans for the weekend? Whatever you choose to do, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Cheers!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Chubby Swagger

This dude reeks havoc on my garden.  His favorite things to eat are my green peppers and tomatoes. He  also loves to come up as close as he possibly can to the window just to torment my cat.  I should hate him. But I can't. He is  absolutely hilarious. I have never seen anything like him. He is a brazen, daring  and entertaining as heck. 

My house is surrounded by woods, so I get all kinds of creatures that venture into the yard. None have been as bold. The wildlife usually darts away the second we spot them. Not this guy. Nope, it's almost like he craves all of the attention.

My girls think he is the funniest thing they've ever seen. They say he acts out  like a bad child, doing naughty and negative things for attention. What they love most about him, is the way he sits and waits for us to pay attention, shows us what he's done wrong, and then s-l-o-w-l-y waddles away. He shakes his enormous booty from left to right and takes his sweet time. Like he's daring us to come follow him.

Yesterday, Frankie, my youngest said, "Hey mom, we really need to name that psycho wood chuck."

Faith, my oldest suggested, "Woody or Waldo."

But my middle daughter, Farrah said, "No  way. Those are normal wood chuck names. This dude is NOT NORMAL. He's hilarious. And he's just like me."

I asked, "What do you mean?"

She said, "He's got an attitude. Like he knows he's cool. He's got chubby swagger, just like me."

After we all fell out laughing, we had our name. Say hello to our little friend  Chubby Swagger!

What would you describe as your best personality trait? Do you have "Chubby  Swagger" or something else that defines you? What sets you apart?  How do other people describe you? Drop  me a comment, I'd  like to know.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Game On Blog Tour Stop with Kyra Lennon

Good Morning Everyone- I am super excited to have the brilliant Kyra Lennon and her Game On Blog Tour stop here today! For any of you who don't know Kyra let me tell you a little something about her- she's amazing!

Kyra is encouraging, kind  and such a huge asset to the writer community. I would be remiss if I failed to mention how she really gets around- COMMENTING- Get your minds out of the gutter people, LOL!  Seriously, you would be hard pressed to find someone who comments more on the blog-o-sphere (except for Alex Cavanaugh- but the Ninja Captain is in a category all by himself, am I right? ) 

If you haven't read Kyra's debut novel Game On, don't wait another second-please go get it right now!! It is hilarious, flirty, clever and a ton of fun to read.  I absolutely loved it.  The links to purchase Game On are included below.  Here's what Kyra decided to share with us today. It's a little snippet from her character Jesse, enjoy!  

Sometimes I wonder if parents remember that they were young once too. I’m pretty sure that when they were eighteen years old, they hated their own parents firing questions at them about what time they’d be home, where they’d been, and who they were with. I don’t even live with them now, they thought I was mature enough to get my own apartment, but somehow, they still want to know all the small stuff that goes on in my life.

My parents are amazing, and my little sister is … well, she’s not so bad as little sisters go. But aren’t I entitled to a little freedom now? I get that they’re worried. Jumping from obscurity right into the spotlight of the Westberg Warriors would scare anyone. It still scares me. But I can handle it, I really can.

I think they’re biggest problem is with my girl. They try hard to look as if they like Taylor, but my mom always has this weird expression in her eyes when she sees her, like she thinks Taylor’s going to trample all over me. She’s not like that. She’s … well, she’s hot! But she’s sweet too. She was real shy at first, but she fits in well with my team mates’ girlfriends, especially Bree Collinson. But most of all, Taylor fits with me, and I am old enough to decide who I date, where I go and what time I come home for myself.

Kyra's blog

Game On Buy Links
Amazon.com kindle version http://www.amazon.com/Game-On-ebook/dp/B008LVCKI0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1342784372&sr=8-2&keywords=kyra+lennon

Game On Synopsis

After swapping her small town life to work for one of the top soccer teams in the U.S, Leah Walker thought she could finally leave the ghosts of her past behind. However, when she meets serial womanizer, Radleigh McCoy, the memories of her old life come swarming back, and she is forced to ask herself whether she has really changed at all.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

ANSWERS to Are You Ready For Some Football, Fact or Fiction

Here I am at a NY Giants football game, last October

Hey Everyone! If you haven't had a chance to read my Fact or Fiction post from yesterday, you might want to go back and take a little peek, before reading my answers here.  Thanks again to all of you who keep coming back week after week, and still seem interested in reading all about my lunacy, LOL. 

This week, it looks like: Kianwi and Johanna were all RIGHT ON! Ilima, Alex and Sporkgasm all had one good guess in there too. Nice job guys!

#1. FACT. Walking around the parking lot of Giant's Stadium,  knowing you just flashed half of  the guys in it, was one of the most mortifying experiences of my entire life. And, if you follow this blog, you know that's saying something. Ugh.  The only thing I could do was block it from my mind  and  try to pretend it didn't happen. I did a pretty good job of  icing  it out too, until half time.

When I walked  up to the line for  hot cocoa, I noticed this dude who looked sort of familiar, staring and smiling at me, like he recognized me.  At first I thought he was just being friendly, but then I remembered where that "flash" of recognition must have came from- and after that, I just wanted to crawl back to my seat and die.

#2. FICTION. (Sort of) I think I will have to label this one, "sort of" fiction. Because I absolutely did attend a Giants  101 class, (even though I know a crap ton about football)  hoping to meet  Michael Strahan. He was there, (woot woot) but I couldn't get anywhere near him. (boo hoo.) #92 is  retired now, but I still want to meet him. Maybe one day!

#3. FACT. Yep, I waddled my fat preggie self all the way to the top of that stadium, just to watch the Giants kick some Eagle butt. The Husband had a bad feeling from the get go and was not happy about me going to this game, at all. And as usual,  he was right! (Shhh...don't tell him I just admitted that!) 

If it weren't for my personal bodyguards,  I would have been caught smack in the middle of that brawl. I'm sure The Husband would have done his best to keep me out of it, (and believe me, he is no joke)  but those NYC boys had me covered. They went above and beyond the call of duty, staying true to their promise- no one touched me. No one even came close!  By the time security arrived, they had everything under control, and "Trouble" subdued.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend! Please remember to check back in tomorrow, because the Bird's Nest is lucky enough to be the next stop on  Kyra Lennon's  Game On blog tour!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Are You Ready for SomeFootball- Friday Fact or Fiction

Hi Everyone! Before I get into my Friday Fact or Fiction post I am super excited to announce, that although I normally don't post on Sundays, this Sunday, (August 12th) I am making an exception to that rule. Because the fabulous Miss Kyra Lennon is going to be my guest at The Bird's Nest.  I'm happy to be one of her stops on her Game On blog tour. Please pop in and show her some love. Thanks!

For those of you new to this little game I like to play, here's the deal: On Fridays I like to leave you with  three stories, and you  (hopefully) would like to vote on which you think are FACT or FICTION. And if your still interested, I always post the truth on Saturday. This week's theme, is Are You Ready for Some Football?

#1The New York Giants are my favorite football team- I love nothing more than going to a home game. The only drawback to tailgating (for me) MAY or MAY NOT be the disgusting, dirty, Johnny-on-the-spots you have to use for a toilet, in the parking lot. 

I am a South Jersey girl, so it takes a good two hours to get to Giants Stadium. Which means, Jaybird is up at the crack of dawn and must drink buckets of coffee in order to pull it together and make it to the game on time. There is simply no way I can hold out, and NOT use a port-o-potty. They are smelly and skievy, but because there is no where else to go, they always have a HUGE line.  Once, when I could hold it no more- I found myself on one of those long lines, waiting.

Not only was it numbing, freezing cold, and windy, my girlfriend and I had to wait what seemed like forever for our turn to go. Finally, it was my turn, and to put it mildly, it was not a moment too soon. I guess I was in a bigger hurry than I thought, because I MAY or MAY NOT have fully locked the door. When I went to  squat, my giant head accidentally hit the cheap blue plastic door, which caused it to open a crack. But the wind took that moment to pick up, and throw the door wide open, giving the entire parking lot and long line of people waiting for their turn, a view neither of us bargained for. I froze. Thank God my BFF was still standing there, and she thought fast, running forward and slamming it shut- in a very NFL worthy move.

#2.  A while back, the Giants MAY or MAY NOT have sent Jaybird and a bunch of her girlfriends, an invitation to an event called Giants 101. Giants 101 is geared towards females, where some key players give a "work shop" to help teach the ladies all about the sport. I have watched football with my Dad, since I was a little girl, and didn't need to learn a thing. But I  wanted to attend anyway, so I could meet some of the players. Specifically, #92 Michael  Strahan.

Michael Strahan is my favorite Giant. When I walked in  and saw him sitting at the table, I MAY or MAY NOT have freaked . Grabbing my friends, I somehow wormed our way to his section and sat down.  He definitely lived up to all of my expectations. Michael Strahan was genuine, funny, intelligent, warm and very intent in his task of trying to pull the ladies into watching his beloved game.

None of  Jaybird's friends with her that night, could give a hoot about football, and knew absolutely nothing about it. It was brutal to sit there listening to their questions, biting my tongue, saying nothing, pretending to know zilch about the sport or #92. When in actuality, I knew every one of Strahan's stats inside and out. I was dying to ask him a  billion real questions, specifically how he felt back on October 23, 2006 when he tackled Drew Bledsoe in the Monday night game against Dallas, tying Lawrence Taylor's record for the most Giant sacks. (132 1/2). 

When the evening was finally over, and he had finished his closing arguments about how great a sport football is, once you understand it, I could hold back no  more! Jaybird, MAY or MAY NOT have blurted out all of my extremely specific questions, like the one above and  a few more, that gave me away!  Michael Strahan, MAY or MAY NOT have stood up to his full, 6 "5" 275 frame, and then broke into a huge gap-toothed smile! He laughed real hard, saying, "You played me good! I should have know, you were so quiet all night. It's always the quiet ones."
#3. Jaybird does not like to miss too many home games. Once, when I was super-sized pregnant, the Giants were playing a huge game against the Eagles. The rivalry between these two teams is cra-zy. And I wanted to go bad. The Husband protested. He didn't want to have to worry about my big mouth trying to protect me from any over-zealous fans. Fights are so much more common when we play the Eagles. I begged and pleaded my case, stating that I would keep my mouth shut stick close to him and all the other giant cops who we were  going to the game with us.  Because I am really annoying, he finally gave in.

Everything was going great too, until we got into the stadium. It took everything in me to waddle up all those steps. By the time I got to  the top,  I was sweaty, out of breath and completely exhausted. (Also, even though we just ate, a little hungry, again.LOL) I couldn't wait to plop down into my seat.  When I tried to sit down, Jaybird's giant preggie ass- no longer fit so nicely in my seat! Sigh.

The Husband, as I may have stated, at time or two before, misses nothing. From the moment we got to our seats, he had surveyed the crowd around us, checking for any potential threats.  He spotted two or three guys, who had TROUBLE stamped on their foreheads. 

The Husband and his friends had worked it out so that they had me covered from the seat behind, to my left and two in front, but the seats to my right,  were unoccupied as of yet, and left me completely exposed. The Husband MAY or MAY NOT have started to freak, and he was thinking of making me leave!

It was at this moment, the fans filling the empty seats to my right, returned from the beer line to come and claim their spots. They leaned over to introduce themselves. Not only were these four guys ginormous, but they were all NYC cops! They shook The Husband's hand and said "Don't worry 'bout nuthing, nobody is gonna touch her!"

Sure enough,  about half-way through the game, the guys The Husband had nick-named "trouble" started a wicked, all-out stadium brawl, a few seats away. Or so I'm told. I MAY or MAY NOT have seen or heard a thing, because before I could blink, I had four enormous NYC cops draped over me like a flag.

OK, there you have it. Please vote on which of these three stories are FACT or FICTION. As always, thank you so much to all of my followers who keep coming back to participate in my FFor F posts!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

What's Your Childhood Monster?

Thanks to Christine Rains for hosting this fun (yet frightening) Blog Hop! Here's hoping I don't get more nightmares after reading about all of yours!

This hop is on-going from the 7th to the 9th- which is a great thing, because today is going to be cra-zy busy, and I won't be around much. I always try to read and comment on as many entries as  I can, so now I won't have to feel the pressure of cramming it all in, on one day. I plan on hitting everyone up slowly, over the next few days.  I'm really looking forward to it. Happy Hopping Everybody!

The room around me is bathed in light. But it doesn't matter. Neither the light nor the dark can quell my fear. At first, like a  good little girl, I tried telling. Ran straight to my parents, dragged them into my room and showed them.  Their response was not what I had anticipated. Later, when they thought I was asleep, I heard them saying awful things about me, like "wild imagination" and "maybe she would benefit from some counseling" and finally, "medication" I knew they would be of no help.

Next, I tried ignoring it and pretending they didn't exist. I pretended I didn't hear their insidious whispering. I pretended they didn't frighten me at all. None of that made a difference. There was nothing I could do. No  matter how hard I fight, every night, against my will, they still pull me in.

The closet in my bedroom, has a plain, simple, pine door. But don't let that fool you, because it's no ordinary door. When I stare at it, the patterns in the wood begin to swirl and change. That evil door morphs, and the faces of the most hideous demons peer through. They scratch and claw and reach out their arms, trying to pull me in. Ultimately, their goal is to drag me into their hell dimension. They want to turn me into a monster and trap me inside that door with them forever.

Every night, I've been tying myself to the bed with the thick rope Dad uses to anchor our boat, but that just makes them pull harder. I know what you are thinking: I AM crazy. If it wasn't true of me once, I'd certainly accept it could be true now. How much sleep can one kid loose, before they go insane?

Every night, the battle rages on. I know it's only a matter of time, before they pull me in. Would you be so kind and do me a favor, when I go missing? Could you please tell my parents where to look?

What do you see?

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Good News, Bad News

Here's some Good News/Bad News that's been happening over here at The Bird's Nest this week:

Let's start with the GOOD NEWS:
1. I went back to work.
2. My beautiful, 16 year old niece Holly, (who I adore), quietly wrote a YA Fantasy book this summer and surprised me on Monday with asking me to read/critique it. *Squee* Cue happy dancing! She wants me to mentor her. I could not be more excited.
3. Holly's book, "Mixed Blood" is good. Like, really, really good. So excited for all of the possibilities the wonderful world of writing has in store for her.
 4. All three of my daughters have been growing their hair for Locks of Love. Yesterday, they donated it! Check out their cute new hair cuts.

5. I lost three pounds!! Woot woot. (Doesn't sound like a lot, but for me, this is monumental)
6. Our garden is producing some seriously delicious Jersey Tomatoes!!
7. The Husband took the girls shooting with him. They all love to shoot and are great shots, but as it turns out, my youngest, (takes after her father) and doesn't miss. When he pulled her target, it had so many center mass perfect shots, it almost beat his! 

Faith shooting.
That smile says it all. 

My little sniper waiting patiently for her turn.  Can you say, GIRL POWER?
8. Check out this cool zombie pancake the girls made me for breakfast!
9. A new frozen yogurt shop opened up within five miles of my house. Their yogurt is creamy and delicious and they have every kind of topping you could possibly imagine. If you buy 5, you get your 6th yogurt free. Good news for my family of five! 
10. Finally got in to see this uber specialist that had me wait listed.
Now for the bad news:
1. I went back to work.
2. I've had a  migraine for four  five days in a row! Nothing is worse than waking up and still having a head ache..
3. Went to see the uber specialist (I waited eight weeks to get in to see) only to find out Lab Corp screwed up my blood work. Again. Ugh. Starting to feel a little bit like a science experiment :(
4. My poor kitty was sick. All over the house. Boo.
My poor baby had a tummy ache.

5. This giant spider was in my pool, therefore, I was not. Hate em! Anyone know what the heck kind of spider beast this is?  UGH.

6. My refrigerator looks like a Russian supermarket. No milk, no bread, no meat. LOL I really need to get my butt to the food store.
7. I have no Friday Fact or Fiction post this week.
8. My house is a fast disaster.
9. Summer is almost over.
10. Still have lots of poundage to loose. My progress has been s-l-o-w. (Hmm,  this might have something to do with the new frozen yogurt place opening up..)

Leave me some of your good news :)  or bad news  :( from this week. I'd love to hear all about it. Oh, and please forgive me for not being around much to comment. Hoping to get back into the regular scha-wing of things, next week. Have a great weekend everyone!! ~Jaybird