#1. FICTION. I never worked as a teller. Apparently, if you owe any debts (i.e. credit cards or student loans) you can't work at a bank. So, that pretty much leaves Jaybird out indefinitely!
#2. FACT. You better believe I WON that bet! I took a huge risk, but I have always had a HUGE appetite and I banked on the fact that I can eat just about anyone under the table. (I can still eat as much as a sumo wrestler, but if I continued to eat like that now I would wind up looking like one too!) But I digress. I beat men twice my age who out-weighed me by at least a hundred and fifty pounds! I housed one entire pepperoni pizza and was one slice shy of finishing another whole plain pie, (not a piddly Dominoes size large either, but giant sized, New York style pies) AND THEN I finished an entire gallon of Breyer's Chocolate Ice Cream. Some of the bigger guys came close to beating me with the pizza, but they all FAILED miserably, when it came to desert. Lightweights!
#4. FACT. Jaybird actually worked for/with lawyers for close to fifteen years. I'd like to say that first lawyer I worked for was the worst, but I went on to work for another who was just as bad, if not worse. Remarkably, the partner of that first jerk I worked for was a real stand up guy, who I actually learned to respect and like. When their partnership dissolved, no one was surprised. It was an awful situation-very similar to a divorce. They fought all the time about who was going to get what fax machine, coffee pot, computer, etc. and who was going to go with who. Both lawyers fought over custody of me, but I told them
1. My FIRST WEEK, I opened a closet door and a man fell out! I thought he was dead and I was totally freaked out. But after I screamed, his mouth fell open and he started snoring!! I caught a good whiff of his breath and realized he was not dead, but completely wasted. He had passed out in the closet and all of his friends checked out and LEFT HIM in there. Brilliant!
2. A minute after I entered a house, a policeman started banging on the door. When I answered the door, he pulled me outside and told me I could not go back in and I must cease and desist doing my job because that house was now the subject of an investigation. It was an open CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION!
3.Once, I walked in on a couple who were supposed to be gone, (like three days before...) Let's just say I saw WAY more of those two, than I ever wanted to. When they saw me, they were not embarrassed (like I was) AT ALL. They only stopped long enough to ask if I'd like to JOIN THEM.
As always, thank you all so much for all of your continued interest/participation in my Friday Fact or Fiction. (a/k/a the crazy I call my life)
Wow! I would have never guessed #1 was false. And I never knew you couldn't work in a bank if you have debts.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you won the bet.
And excellent that you worked for a kick ass female attorney who's now one of your closest friends.
You current job sounds like a lot of fun. I especially liked the story about you being asked to join that couple! ^_^
It is a very good thing I have a phenomenal lawyer as one of my besties, cause you just never know!
ReplyDeleteTechnically speaking, my current job scrubbing toilets should be easy as pie, but this is my life, so you know, LOL
A million thanks Clare, for coming back to participate in my Friday Fact or Fiction once again. I really do appreciate it!
I was way off on this week's options. Your life continues to amaze me. And I can imagine cleaning a vacation home could have it's share of stories. My husband used to be a night watch security guard at a hotel beach in Hawaii, and he's seen some interesting things, lol.
ReplyDeleteThanks for always coming back and participating Ilima! I always look forward to your comments/input.
ReplyDeleteI'll bet your husband could do his own Fact or Fiction working hotel security!