About Me

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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Saturday, May 5, 2012

Take This Job and Shove It, Fact or Fiction Answers

In case you didn't read yesterday's FRIDAY FACT OR FICTION,  you might want to take a peek at it before reading today's post. Here are the Answers:
#1. FICTION. I never worked as a teller. Apparently, if you owe any debts (i.e. credit cards or student loans) you can't work at a bank. So, that pretty much leaves Jaybird out indefinitely!

#2. FACT.   You better believe I WON that bet! I took a huge risk, but I have always had a HUGE appetite and I banked on the fact that I can eat just about anyone under the table.  (I can still eat as much as a sumo wrestler, but if I continued to eat like that now I would wind up looking like one too!) But I digress. I beat men twice my age who out-weighed me by at least a hundred and fifty pounds! I housed one entire pepperoni pizza and was one slice shy of finishing another whole plain pie, (not a piddly Dominoes size large either, but giant sized, New York style pies)  AND THEN I finished an entire gallon of Breyer's Chocolate Ice Cream. Some of the bigger guys came close to beating me with the pizza, but they all FAILED miserably, when it came to desert. Lightweights!
(FYI:lemon juice DOES NOT work to get the smell of fish off of your skin, believe me, I tried. And tried. And tried. Sigh. I still hate that smell. :)
#3. FACT.  A second after taking a whiff  of that rash, I wiped out, falling right on top of the doctor's toes. It was pretty obvious I was not cut from the same mold as my amazing RN mother! He asked me to stay on as his medical transcriptionist/ book-keeper, which I agreed to do. The Dr.  and I got on really well, but I was bored. He encouraged me to get out of the med field and go into Public Relations. It wasn't the first time in my life someone had suggested this, and certainly wouldn't be the last. Eventually, I did land my dream job in Public Relations. I wish I would have listened to everyone who encouraged me to go into PR a bit sooner, because it would have saved me from working for sleazy LAWYERS!

#4. FACT. Jaybird actually worked for/with lawyers for close to fifteen years. I'd like to say that first lawyer I worked for was the worst, but I went on to work for another who was just as bad, if not worse.  Remarkably, the partner  of that first jerk I worked for was a real stand up guy, who I actually learned to respect and like. When their partnership  dissolved, no one was surprised. It was an awful situation-very similar to a divorce. They fought all the time about who was going to get what fax machine, coffee pot, computer, etc. and who was going to go with who. Both lawyers fought over custody of me, but I told them to pound sand   as  professionally and politely as I could, I must decline. I took a job with a very clever, extremely successful and completely amazing FEMALE attorney- who remains, to this day, one of my VERY BEST FRIENDS!!
*** As an added Take This  Job and Shove It bonus, I wanted to give some honorable mentions to my current occupation. I work part time for a management company cleaning time shares, on the beach . Oh, how I love my job, you just never know what you are walking into! Here are a few fun things I have encountered since I started:

1. My FIRST WEEK, I  opened a closet door and a man fell out! I thought he was dead and I was totally freaked out. But after I screamed, his mouth fell open and he started snoring!! I caught a good whiff of his breath and realized he was not dead, but completely wasted. He  had passed out in the closet and all of his friends checked out and LEFT HIM in there. Brilliant!
2. A minute after I entered a house, a policeman started banging on the door. When I answered the door, he pulled me outside and told me I could not go back in and I must cease and desist doing my job because that house was now the subject of an investigation. It was an open CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION!
3.Once, I walked in on a couple who were supposed to be gone, (like three days before...) Let's just say I saw WAY more of those two, than I ever wanted to. When they saw me, they were not embarrassed (like I was) AT ALL. They only stopped long enough to ask if I'd like to JOIN THEM.

As always, thank you all so much for all of your continued interest/participation in my Friday Fact or Fiction. (a/k/a the crazy I call my life)


  1. Wow! I would have never guessed #1 was false. And I never knew you couldn't work in a bank if you have debts.

    Glad to hear you won the bet.

    And excellent that you worked for a kick ass female attorney who's now one of your closest friends.

    You current job sounds like a lot of fun. I especially liked the story about you being asked to join that couple! ^_^

  2. It is a very good thing I have a phenomenal lawyer as one of my besties, cause you just never know!

    Technically speaking, my current job scrubbing toilets should be easy as pie, but this is my life, so you know, LOL

    A million thanks Clare, for coming back to participate in my Friday Fact or Fiction once again. I really do appreciate it!

  3. I was way off on this week's options. Your life continues to amaze me. And I can imagine cleaning a vacation home could have it's share of stories. My husband used to be a night watch security guard at a hotel beach in Hawaii, and he's seen some interesting things, lol.

  4. Thanks for always coming back and participating Ilima! I always look forward to your comments/input.

    I'll bet your husband could do his own Fact or Fiction working hotel security!