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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Saturday, April 21, 2012

My Big Fat Italian Wedding Fact or Fiction Answers

#1. FACT My Scassi orginal ripped all the way down to my ass, right before I was about to leave for the ceremony. Everyone was in a panic and didn't know what we were going to do to fix it because regular thread would not work on such heavy fabric. My brilliant DAD suggested using some of his FISHING LINE, which is strong enough to hook sharks, but also clear, so no one would be able to see it!! It worked. Really, really well. Later that night, The Husband had to cut me out of my dress, stitch by agonizing stitch, in order to get it off! LOL

Here is a shot of my Auntie, bestie and Mom trying to sew me up!
Walking out of the church on the arm of The Husband (see,  he really does exist)  with USMC Honor Guard.
#2. FACT. Unfortunately, this is true. You can't make shit like that up. After we returned from our honeymoon, The Husband and I tried to check in on our  priest but in typical Catholic Church fashion, they told us he was "no longer" with the parish. They had already transferred him somewhere else. We just wanted to make sure he was getting the proper meds and help he needed, but they would not answer any more of our questions and pretty much told us to piss off, forget him and drop it. :(  I LOVE this song. And it kinda sums up how I feel about that....)

This is my fav wedding pic. Because if you look closely, you can see The Husband's shadow falling on my dress.
Sorry these pics are all a little blurry, but they are fragile and I didn't want to scan them.
#3 FICTION. No way would someone walk in on Jaybird in her drawers and not wind up running  from the room with their eyes bleeding, begging for the image to be burned from their minds forever. The only truth in this situation, is the cousin, who always has a "hook up".  Although, I have learned my lesson over the years about using them..  :)
I had 28 people in my bridal party. My grandma said we were lucky the dang bridge didn't fall down!!
PS: I feel compelled to mention, that yes I do have a big, fat Italian family, but I'm only half Italian. My mom is the full blooded Italiano. My father is a proper Englishman. (with a wee bit o' Irish mixed in) It might explain why sometimes I bust out with words like Brilliant, Mum, Nutter, Erm,  and Cuppa. I also feel compelled to say sorry for things that aren't even my fault. Oh, and sometimes I spell random words kinda funny..like labour. I blame all of that, (and if there is any class in me at all) on my Dad.

There you have it. Thank you so much to everyone who keeps coming back and participating in my crazy Friday Fact or Fiction. You guys are the best. 


  1. OMG- talk about a HUGE wedding! Grandma's right about that bridge. Holy moly. Dazzled here by the vastness of it all. And happy the photog turned out not to be a creep.

    1. It is always over the top with us Italians...we prefer to have more than we need with everything. Especially FOOD!! :)

      Thank you so much for participating Cathy!

  2. I was away from the computer all day yesterday and missed your post. It is definitely the hilight of my Fridays! I can't believe your dress ripped! I do think it's kinda romantic--your husband cutting you out of the dress. I had a big fat "Hawaiian" wedding, and my grandfather's "friend", nicknamed the Hawaiian Godfather, "took care" of the food. Which was amazing, but kind of scary. Haha.

    1. Also, I know the pictures are blurry, but your dress looks awfully similar to my own wedding dress. :)

    2. Ilima- You have no idea how much what you just wrote means to me! Honestly, just this morning I was contemplating if I should give up blogging all together. So seriously, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

      I love that you had a big fat Hawaiian wedding! And I LOL about the Hawaiian Godfather. Going to Hawaii feels like coming home for me and my family. The spirit of the Hawaiian people is so amazing! They love food and kids and family as much as I do and we don't ever want to leave when we vacation there. My daughter said, "Mom, the Big Island is so awesome because everybody is brown and chubby, just like me!!" The Husband and I got a kick out of that.

      About the dress- Oh man that stupid dress! It was so heavy, AND it ripped, and I couldn't even go pee all day because it was so big it didn't fit in the stall, and I just HAD to have it! Looking back now, I'm wondering what the heck was I thinking !?! Hope yours held up much better than mine did. ~ Jaybird

    3. NO! Don't stop blogging. And thanks for the kind words. Aww. "Everybody is brown and chubby." Haha. That sounds about right. :)

    4. My daughter told me in Hawaii it was the first time she has ever felt "accepted" immediately. She is brown and chubby (like her mom) and gets a lot of crap for it here in NJ. On the Big Island EVERYONE we met, from tu tus (grandmas) to kids and adults, received her so well, she says she is only going to consider applying to colleges in Hawaii- She wants to be a Marine Biologist, so Thank God, that will kinda work out in her favor! LOL

  3. Ha ha. Your grandmother certainly has quite a sense of humor. If I were to ever get married someday, I'd have a wedding party that would rival in size. :D (Except mine would be a Big, Fat, Cuban-Colombian Wedding, lol.)

    -Barb the French Bean

  4. Oh My Gosh Barb- my grandma was a total riot-She passed away a few years back, and I still miss her wit every single day!

    A big, fat, Cuban-Colombian wedding would be all kinds of awesome. Big families are the best. Growing up, I always felt awkward at my "white" friend's houses because they were just so QUIET. I just didn't know how to function without all the food, yelling and chaos!!

  5. This looks like a grand ol' time to me! What a fun wedding. It's fabulous that you have so many pictures. Right after I got married everything became digital, so all of my photos are hard copies as well. I kind of wish I had a digital camera back then so I could easily share those pictures. Thanks for sharing yours!

  6. Thanks Emily! These pics are getting really old and fragile, so I wish I had digital as well. My kids had a ball when I pulled out the wedding album. They can't believe "HOW YOUNG" mom and dad look in these pics compared to now. (Me either, LOL)

  7. What a beautiful wedding to remember!!! Awwww happy wedding - esp. the emergency sewing of your wedding dress up! Wonderful!

    Thanks for sharing! Take care

  8. Thanks so much for stopping by Old Kitty! Oh, and I hope you read Friday's post otherwise this one would't make too much sense, LOL.

  9. LOL, I'm sorry that any of this was true. Fishing line is ingenius, though!

  10. Hey Jaycee- my wedding was definitely memorable. To this day, I have people who come up to me and tell me that my wedding had the best food, the most fun, and was overall the best wedding they have ever attended. I'd like to think it was because of the awesomeness of the Bride and Groom, however, it was probably due to the sheer entertainment factor!! LOL