Oh My Hero! Blog Hop

Sorry to my regulars, but I'm not doing my Friday Fact or Fiction this week.  Instead, I am participating in the dynamic duo of Jaycee DeLorenzo and Victoria Smith's, Oh, My Hero!  Blog Hop.  Big Thanks to Jaycee and Victoria for co-hosting this fun hop!

SO, here we go-this is  my entry. I couldn't decide which side/picture of MY HERO to portray. So, I decided to post both. Can you find it in your hearts to forgive me? Hehehe.

Say Hello to Drew Moore. My hero, At Ease.



 Interview Questions:

1. How would you describe yourself in one word? Combustible.

2. How would you describe your heroine? Beauty personified.

3. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes.

4. How would your friends describe you in one word? Intense.

5. What's your favorite pastime? Killing. I'm an Angel of Death.

6. What's your idea of the perfect date?

Getting to spend any time with my girl, is perfect.

7. Are you a morning or a night person and why? Both. I don't need sleep.

8. If you won a million dollars what would you do with it? Give it away. I already have more money than I could ever need.

9.If you had 24 hours to live what would you do/ where would you go? I would Eat, Pray, Love. Not necessarily in that order.

10. What's your favorite comic book character and why? The Punisher. Because he comprehends the discipline it takes to wield proper justice.

11. If you had three wishes what would they be?I would only need one. I'd wish I could be the man Jenny needs me to be.

12. What your favorite movie? 300.

13. What is the first thing you notice about a woman that you find attractive? Her soul.

14. What do you hold value the most in a potential love interest? Integrity.

Hope you all had as much fun with this creative Blog Hop as I did~Jaybird

Taste of Southern Ocean County, A Night to Remember

Although I feel a bit like crap on a stick, I left the nest last night to attend this amazing event with my sister: 

This is a cause that we both support and look forward to year after year. All of the proceeds go to "Ending Childhood Hunger, One Plate At A Time"  This year's theme was Boardwalk Dynasty, A Culinary Tribute to 1920's Atlantic City, and it was FABULOUS!! There were flappers and feathers and music and food. In other words, my kind of FUN.

This is the menu. And, yes, I finished every single bite :)

It is truly a spectacular evening, as all of the most amazing, talented chefs from the surrounding area come out and display their culinary talents . I can't begin to describe how each course tops the last.

This was the Sacchette Alfredo. I could have eaten just this, all night long. YUM

Pictured below is the beautiful and extremely talented Event Planner for Caesar's in Atlantic City: Caitlin Lesniak We LURRVE her.

 (She also happens to be the daughter of one ridiculously talented chef, Gary Lesniak.)

Ronnie Lesniak, Gary Lesniak & Miss Caitlin. What a brilliant trio!!

On the left is my sister Adrienne and on the right is our friend Val.  

Val is not only a Librarian Extraordinaire, but she can HANG. So we totally lurve her too!

Val, MC for the evening FISHBEIN, Cheryl Smith, my good friend and wife of:
Chef Ian Smith. A/K/A Smitty. The man who started this benefit, after watching a young mother hang her five year old over a dumpster to dive for food, some 20  years ago. It was one moment in time, but it changed his life forever. And he started this benefit as his way of using his talents to do something about ending childhood hunger, in Southern Ocean County. TRULY AMAZING!! One person CAN make a difference.

 Chef Ian Smith

The Day My Bra Died, and Other Random Things That Happened Yesterday

Yesterday, I was out in a store with my oldest daughter when I suddenly had a hot flash grew warm,  so I took off my coat. My daughter's face fell when she looked at me. 

"Uh, Mom, did you forget to put on a bra?"

"No! I always wear a bra, because I don't like tripping over my boobs, you know that."

"Well, it doesn't look like you're wearing one."

I quickly stepped up to one of those mirror-type columns that seem to frequent all department stores to check my reflection. Sure enough, my boobs were in their favorite bra-less go-to position: downward facing dog.  What the h? I know I put on my favorite bra this morning! I'm sure I did. At least, I think I did.

I am, however, in a very forgetful stage right now, because of some medical issues, (see my post  Follow at Your Own Risk) so anything is possible. But I could feel the bra straps through my shirt, and it confirmed that, yep, it was definitely still ON. So, what was happening? My favorite bra had died.

My favorite bra  was dead! And she had a very specific medical directive. She requested a  DNR. (Do Not Resuscitate) Cause she knows me so well. I would have done anything to save her. Poor thing. The real "miracle" is that bra lasted as long as she did, considering the sizable burdens she had to carry around all day. I'm really going to miss her, cause they just don't make them like they used to.  Literally. They don't make them anymore. And obviously, I am in dire need of a replacement.

Since my oldest and I were in a department store, I decided to try to find a replacement, immediately. It's amazing how quickly someone you relied on for years can be replaced. I found a couple of  newer, younger models, but just like trophy wives, they will be exciting for their possibilities, but in actuality, they will quickly loose their  novelty and wind up being a huge disappointment, compared to the original.

Besides the hard stares from people who believe I intentionally left my house, au natural, here's what else happens when Jaybird, goes to check-out in a crowded department store:

I placed my newer, sportier and sure to disappoint me versions of my fav bra on top of the counter, as well as a few more items my daughter wanted. But some of the items started to fall. So, naturally, I bent over to pick them up. It was at this opportune moment, my cell phone starts to ring. Only, my middle daughter, (who is a techie-whiz and loves to jack with electronics b/c she thinks it's hilarious) had replaced my ring tone with one that FARTS. And, of course, she had turned the volume up, loud.

I thought my oldest was going to faint. But it gets BETTER. Of course, it's The Husband on the phone, and he's at work, (if he's calling from work,  something is probably wrong). He's yelling something at me. But it's hard to hear in the store and he's breaking up. I did catch this much, he's pissed at me because somehow, Jaybird packed one of my LUNA bars, which are protein bars for WOMEN, instead of his, into his bag for work.

If any of you knows anything about COPS, they tease the crap out of each other for fun. And apparently, The Husband eating protein bars made especially for women, was freaking hilarious.  (which I kinda have to agree) But I can't deal with him right now, because I'm still on line and my shit is falling on the floor, and everyone around me already hates me because of my ring tone and I'm going so slow and talking on the phone....I am trying to wrestle my wallet out of my purse, with one hand, because I'm holding my cell in the other, when it pops out, along with three or four MAXI PADS as they fly up in the air in a giant arc, and fall like they are in slow motion, all over the floor, and onto my ten year old  daughter's feet. I look at her and I can't tell if she's going to piss her pants laughing, or she's going to start to cry!! She just looks at me,  and it's one of THOSE looks, full of just so much resignation, that, yes, that really is my MOM, and she mutters just one word, but it sums this entire train wreck of a shopping trip/day with me, all up:

"Brilliant."

Follow At Your Own Risk

A string of "unfortunate events" (as I will herein refer to them)  started for me on Easter Sunday and have yet to stop. I keep waiting for the downs to be over and the ups to resurface, but the shiz keeps flowing downhill around the Bird's Nest.

It may be news to some of my followers to hear that I suffer from an auto-immune disease that totally sucks it.  I don't like to talk about it much, because I don't ever want to use it as a crutch. I am the type of person who always focuses on the positive and refuses to let this disease overtake my ability to live my life to the fullest. That is why, I like to keep it on  the down low.  But lately, it's becoming increasingly more and more difficult to do so. 

Stress can induce flare ups and I've been under an unusual amount of stress with the string of unfortunate events.  I considered  stopping my blog all together, but after getting an extremely  kind compliment/comment from one of my followers, (thanks Ilima) I  decided I should just tell everyone the truth. When I am in the midst of a bad flare up, I am sure to be doing one (or all) of these stupid things:

(1) make lots and lots of typos/mistakes
(2) forget that I already commented on one of your posts and do it again
(3) repeat myself, a lot. 

Memory loss/impairment is just one of many symptoms that can get bad for awhile. I guess I considered quitting because I was being a bit vain, and didn't want to embarrass myself. But that's not being very fair to my followers. Maybe some of you wouldn't mind as much as I think, now that you know why.  And after my recent  rant/post on LIES OF OMISSION, I would consider myself a total hypocrite, for not telling you the complete truth now and allowing you to make up your own minds.

So follow at your own risk friends, but consider yourselves forewarned if I blog/comment like I'm totally wasted from time to time.  Cheers ~Jaybird

My Big Fat Italian Wedding Fact or Fiction Answers

#1. FACT My Scassi orginal ripped all the way down to my ass, right before I was about to leave for the ceremony. Everyone was in a panic and didn't know what we were going to do to fix it because regular thread would not work on such heavy fabric. My brilliant DAD suggested using some of his FISHING LINE, which is strong enough to hook sharks, but also clear, so no one would be able to see it!! It worked. Really, really well. Later that night, The Husband had to cut me out of my dress, stitch by agonizing stitch, in order to get it off! LOL

Here is a shot of my Auntie, bestie and Mom trying to sew me up!

Walking out of the church on the arm of The Husband (see,  he really does exist)  with USMC Honor Guard.

#2. FACT. Unfortunately, this is true. You can't make shit like that up. After we returned from our honeymoon, The Husband and I tried to check in on our  priest but in typical Catholic Church fashion, they told us he was "no longer" with the parish. They had already transferred him somewhere else. We just wanted to make sure he was getting the proper meds and help he needed, but they would not answer any more of our questions and pretty much told us to piss off, forget him and drop it. :(  I LOVE this song. And it kinda sums up how I feel about that....)

This is my fav wedding pic. Because if you look closely, you can see The Husband's shadow falling on my dress.

Sorry these pics are all a little blurry, but they are fragile and I didn't want to scan them.

#3 FICTION. No way would someone walk in on Jaybird in her drawers and not wind up running  from the room with their eyes bleeding, begging for the image to be burned from their minds forever. The only truth in this situation, is the cousin, who always has a "hook up".  Although, I have learned my lesson over the years about using them..  :)

I had 28 people in my bridal party. My grandma said we were lucky the dang bridge didn't fall down!!

PS: I feel compelled to mention, that yes I do have a big, fat Italian family, but I'm only half Italian. My mom is the full blooded Italiano. My father is a proper Englishman. (with a wee bit o' Irish mixed in) It might explain why sometimes I bust out with words like Brilliant, Mum, Nutter, Erm,  and Cuppa. I also feel compelled to say sorry for things that aren't even my fault. Oh, and sometimes I spell random words kinda funny..like labour. I blame all of that, (and if there is any class in me at all) on my Dad.

There you have it. Thank you so much to everyone who keeps coming back and participating in my crazy Friday Fact or Fiction. You guys are the best. 

My Big Fat Italian Wedding Friday Fact or Fiction

For this week's Friday Fact or Fiction, I promised Jaycee DeLorenzo, I would NOT be doing anything Creepy Crawly- like last week. (Sorry for grossing you out Jaycee!)  (Also, I'm sorry if this is full of typos and/or errors because I have a funeral to go to and am extremely distracted.) I was thinking I'd like to focus on a topic that's a bit more girlie.  You can't get girlier than weddings, right?

Your wedding day should be unforgettable, but in a good way. Jaybird has a Big Fat Italian family. With Italian families, you are guaranteed three things at every wedding: Food, Fun and a Fight. (Oh, four things. Old Italian ladies in sausage-tight black dresses with rhinestones and a tissue stuffed somewhere in their bra strap busting a move on the dance floor...see Exhibit A)

Exhibit A Jaybird  at  a cousin's wedding....

Here are some crazy things that MAY or MAY NOT have happened on Jaybird's wedding day:

1. Jaybird May or May not have been on a psycho bride diet and had to have her one of a kind custom fit Italian silk wedding dress altered at the eleventh hour. After losing so much weight the dress not only had to be taken in, but a whole new zipper had to be inserted. Only the new zipper was made out of  PLASTIC, not metal. On the day of the wedding, Jaybird's dress May or May not have SPLIT RIGHT AT THE SEAM, all the way down to her ass!

2. Officiating almost every Italian wedding, is a  priest who is somehow related to the family. Jaybird's priest, May or May not have FORGOTTEN TO TAKE HIS MEDICATION for his bi-polar disorder, and went a little um, NUTS during the ceremony. He may or may not have referred to The Husband in his Marine Corps Dress Blues as "Hitler" and the Marine Corps Honor Guard with their swords, as "The SS Officers".  Oh, and then the priest, May or May Not have PUNCHED the Best Man, right in the chest before he was tackled off the altar by one of Jaybird's mobbed up cousins, (Who is probably the only one in the family who wasn't afraid they would go to Hell for tackling a priest!)


3.  In every Italian family, there is always a cousin who "has a friend" or "knows somebody" and promises  "he'll take care of you." It is looked down upon to ask too many questions about this hook up, since you are getting something for nothing and now your cousin owes this person a favor. Jaybird, MAY or MAY NOT have gone this route with the PHOTOGRAPHER on her wedding day.  The photographer hook up MAY or MAY NOT have been a CREEPER who arrived early and walked right in on Jaybird while she was getting dressed. He MAY or MAY NOT  have started to snap pictures like a perv mumbling in Italian and pretending lika-he-spoka- no-English. After he was cussed at in about five different languages to get out, he finally left  the room. All day, the CREEPER photographer, MAY or MAY NOT have been trying to mack on Jaybird and  trying to grab her at every opportunity. He also MAY or MAY NOT have begged her to run away with him, despite the fact that she had just gotten married!!!! 

And there you have it. Please vote on which of these three stories from Jaybird's wedding are either Fact or Fiction. I'll post the truth tomorrow. Thanks!

Pepper Spray and Pink TuTus

The Husband and his super-sized Alpha Male personality doesn't always translate well into being a father of little girls. Best case scenario, the offspring will become three of the best kickass heroines this world has ever seen...and they'll be able to write brilliant novels about their epic adventures. (LOL) Worst case scenario, well, I don't like to think much about that..

Yesterday, my daughters were out playing in our yard. (Our yard backs up to woods.)The oldest came in telling tales of "seeing someone" out in the woods. Normally, this is nothing I would dismiss or joke about. But when The Husband interrogated  asked the girls to give him a description of  the perp and an exact recounting of what they saw,  every one of them had a different story. My favorite version came from the youngest.  (She's absolutely obsessed with France and all things French and wears a beret every single day) She  described the mysterious trespasser as "a tall skinny man in a waist coat with a long mustache and a black beret!"

Armed with the description of Lord Cuckoo Face from her favorite Madeline books, The Husband, went out and performed an extremely thorough perimeter search. He found nothing. No footprints, no disturbance in the foliage around the trees, no animal prints, none of his booby traps had been detonated... nothing. Trust me, if man or beast had set one paw in those woods, threatening the safety of his little girls, they would wish they hadn't. He came back inside and announced a lack of evidence. The girls kept insisting that they saw something.  The Husband promised everything was alright, our perimeter had NOT been breached and all was good with the world again. He spoke to them a bit longer, but I was busy prepping for dinner and not the end of the world, so I kinda tuned him out missed what he told them.

It's not the first, (and certainly won't be  the last) time he's spoken to them about stranger danger. The Husband does not believe in coddling the girls.  He has made them well aware of what kind of creepers are out in this world. My girls "theoretically" know how to defend themselves in just about every scenario imaginable.  I have protested. I have tried to get him to take it easy and convince him they don't need to be this well equipped, they are not MARINES. So let's just say, it's an argument we agree to disagree on.



 I did not think about the stranger in the woods again, since I thought it had been put to rest. The Husband went off to harass criminals (a/k/a work) and  I was making lunch when the girls asked if they could go out in the yard to play. I said yes, and off they went. Mind you, they were all wearing pink tutus, armed for dance, not war games, so I was thrown off.  A few minutes later, armed with nothing but their lunch and juice boxes, I went out to join them. They were up to something, I could sense that much. A very serious pow wow was taking place, inside their castle fort.

Heads bowed, pink tutus up, they were really
concentrating on whatever it was they were doing. I crept closer to see what they were about.  When I saw what they were doing,  I crapped a brick.  They had a list, and had collected a number of  items on it already. The items collected were:

Garlic powder, black pepper, red chili powder..uh, huge RED FLAG!!!!

Everything had been pilfered from my spice rack, right under my nose, without my knowledge. Their stealthy pilfering skills wasn't the only thing that  scared the shiz out of me. They had collected the main ingredients used in homemade PEPPER SPRAY!! 

First, I thought hard about sneaking up on my girls, ever, ever, again. Then, I gave them a lecture on how dangerous mixing chemicals is and how they are punished pretty much forever.

The oldest defended herself, and argued a little with me. "Daddy taught us to always be prepared!  We were JUST gonna make some pepper spray, in case someone tries to come back into our woods!"  

(DISCLAIMER: For those of you who are crying "child abuse" The Husband DID NOT tell the girls to mix chemicals in our backyard to defend  it. He is a fanatic, but he's not CRAZY...)

The way she said this,  like it  was the most obvious, viable solution to their problem, chills me to the bone. I reiterated that  they are NEVER to try and gather the ingredients to anything other than what goes into baking cupcakes. I could see this was falling on deaf ears. This information would have to be reinforced by  a higher ranking official  Daddy for them to accept it as new STANDING POST ORDERS. Can't wait for him to come home from work so I can loose my shit on him  discuss this with him in greater detail.

While I was confiscating all of their ingredients, my little one picked up her juice pouch and tore into her lunch, completely unaffected by my admonitions. She looked at her sisters and in all seriousness said,

"Don't worry guys, we always have HAND TO HAND if we need to take somebody out!"

Creepy Crawly Fact or Fiction Answers

The answer to this week's Creepy Crawly Fact or Fiction are as follows: #3 is FACT.  After we finally stopped screaming, we pushed the car to the side of the road. About the officials getting involved, I wouldn't exactly call them "Officials". More like five Mexican-American guys, who stopped and debated whether or not they should  help four stupid gringas get a giant tarantula out of our vehicle.

"What's wrong ladies, engine trouble?"
"Nope. There's a giant spider in the back of the car!"
"A spider? That's all. Shit, we can take care of that for you. Let me see this little-
 HOOLY shit! Yo holmes, they got a Red Assed Mexican Tarantula up in there!@! 
"No way!"
"Come see esse!"
"ay cabron"
"Loco something...something..caliente..gringas  (my Spanish is basic and they are speaking so freaking fast  I can't catch anything they are saying)
"Get me a stick or something!"
"You're crazy!"
"I'm outta here!"
"Que huevons!" 
"Whatever. No one is that hot holmes!"  (I have to agree with him.)


As for #1 and #2, They are also FACT. But didn't happen to me, so I can't count them.
#1 Happened to my mom. She's a RN and sought treatment right away. Thank God she did because brown recluse bites are no joke. My mom had to go out on disability for weeks before she recovered. I was young and this screwed me up bad. I became petrified of all spiders after that.

#2 Really  happened to a close friend's daughter. The ER doctor seriously told her that this was not as uncommon an occurrence as you would think! Are you kidding me? When they told me, it fueled my arachnophobia to epic proportions. The thought of a spider depositing it's eggs in my ears or mouth while sleeping, pretty much ruined my ability to get a full night's sleep forever.

Do you blame me for turning arachnophobic or paying my ten year old daughter a dollar to come and get a spider Or sleeping with ear plugs Or never putting on a pair of shoes without shaking them out first? LOL

I hope you are all enjoying the crazy- a/k/a my life. Thank you for your participation! All of your comments are truly appreciated. ~Jaybird

Creepy Crawly Friday Fact or Fiction

If you haven't already noticed, Jaybird is bat-crap crazy and has  many phobias. As we progress with Fact or Fiction, and you get to know more and more about my life, you'll see why!! But since this week's  Fact or Fiction falls on Friday the 13th, I'd like to focus on only one of my phobias today: Arachnophobia. (Oh dear God, how I hate spiders. It was hard for me to even look at the pictures for this!)  So, ugh, away we go:

1. Jaybird may or may not have once put her foot into a shoe and felt something pinch her big toe. She didn't think about it again until later. That day she developed a fever, the chills, nausea and big time body aches and cramps. Basically, she thought she was going to DIE. When she removed her shoe, Jaybird found her entire big toe had turned BLACK and looked  all around, NOT GOOD. She was rushed to Emergency Room and found out it was a SPIDER bite. (Most likely a brown recluse.)

2. Jaybird may or may not have had an extremely bad ear infection once. She went to Emergency Room where they proceeded to tell her there was something lodged in her ear cavity. When they extracted it, the whole room fell silent. A SPIDER has laid it's egg sac in her ear! It burst open on the table and tiny spiders came crawling out. Despite the sheer gross out factor, the ER doctor and nurses, may or may not have told  her, "This isn't the first time we saw this happen! It happens more than you think." Which may or may not be the reason Jaybird sleeps with ear plugs in her ears, every single night.

3. Jaybird went to Mazatlan, Mexico with a group of friends to party and be stupid.Jaybird may or may not have brought home a guest in her beach bag. When said stupid partiers were coming home, a GIANT Mexican style tarantula crawled out of her bag into the back seat, thus evacuating a car packed full of bikini clad girls right in the middle of a crowded freeway. Which stopped traffic. Mexican and American officials, may or may not have been involved.

And there you have it. Please vote on which of these three stories from Jaybird's life are either Fact or Fiction. I'll post the truth tomorrow. Thanks!!

Lies of Omission

Before I start, let me preface this with an apology.  Writing has always been the best way for me to work through the things that are tearing me up inside. I consider it free therapy. So, sorry if this is too heavy for you. Stop reading now if you are not in the mood to hear my ANGRY BIRD rant. But those of you who don't fly off, please try and leave me a comment, so I can count this as free group therapy :) LOL.

Boy, am I an Angry Bird. Really, truly angry. Beyond a little miffed, inconvenienced and ticked. I'm FURIOUS. All because of  a: LIE of OMISSION.

Someone (who I care about so I won't name names or get into  specific details) had many excuses for the giant LIE they dumped on me. They tried to justify it by telling me that they didn't lie, they just didn't tell me the whole truth. The only reason I know the truth now, is not because they decided to come clean, but because the big fat lie they've been hiding BLEW UP in their face.
I heard the lame excuses:
#1: I wanted to protect you.
#2: I didn't want you to worry.
#3: You would just freak out.

None of these reasons hold any validity in my eyes. Cause, guess what? 
#1: He/she did NOT protect me from shit!
#2: I'm more worried than I ever would've been before, because now I don't trust you, at all, and I'm wondering what the hell else he/she  has been keeping from me!
#3: Not only am I  FREAKING OUT, but I kinda want to spit on you now too.

Bottom line, to me, a lie is a lie! End of story. When the truth came out (and the truth  ALWAYS comes out) things wound up going from zero to sixty, faster than a Ferrari! Unfortunately, I was so shocked and bereft when it did, I wound up standing against this particular person, instead of  having their back...


I'm trying not to be angry. Cause I'm like The Hulk and  you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.  Anger is an emotion I'd like to be able to turn off with a switch. But once provoked, this ANGRY BIRD has never been good at suppressing her ire. 

And NO good could possibly come from harboring it. So what do I do?

How do you feel about LIES OF OMISSION? Do you even consider them a lie?  Have you ever had half-truths, a white lie, full on bullshit or a LIE OF OMISSION told to you?


FACT or FICTION Answers!

Here are the answers to the It's Not You, It's Me, Fact or Fiction

(1) FACT. Yep, this one is true. Welcome to my life and what inspires the villains in the books I write. (Just consider me the Taylor Swift of the literary world ). Hehehehe.

Here I am in the offensive dress, minus the date from hell.

Maybe this is just bruised ego talking, but I don't think the dress or I, looked THATbad. This was the late 80's, so he got off easy. I could have looked way, way worse.

(2) FACT. Yep, this one is also true. But I take full responsibility here because I was going through  a Doc Martin wearing phase and knew full well  this particular gentleman was somewhere around 6 feet 5 inches of pure punk/rock anger, angst and overall negativity. I should have known my eternal optimism and sunny disposition would grate on his nerves, eventually.

(3) This one is pure FICTION. Jaybird may be a lot of things, but a NEST WRECKER, is not one of them. I never (knowingly) pursued a married man. I can't wrap my mind around the draw to this. I am a loyal bird. I don't cheat and I don't like cheaters.  This excuse was actually used once on one of my best gay friends though, by some guy he was chatting up in a bar. :)

Thank you so much for all of your comments and participation. You have no idea how much I appreciate each and every one of you. You guys rock!!! Now I'm off to go hug The Husband.... 

It's Not YOU, It's ME! Friday Fact or Fiction

We've all heard it in one variation or another. And any which way it's presented to you, it leads to one thing and one thing only, BREAKING UP.

No matter how much someone tries to convince you, it's not  you, it's me, you can bet your ass it's really something about you they can't stand another minute of.  So, that's this week's theme behind  my Friday Fact or Fiction. Either it was you who did the dumping, or you were the one being dumped upon, everyone has a story. Tell me about it (if you can). I'd like to hear the worst excuses for a break-up you have ever heard, or given.

Here are three of the worst excuses Jaybird has heard while being dumped. You decide which are FACT or FICTION. I'll reveal the truth tomorrow.

(1) You're Homecoming  dress is so ugly, I can't bare the sight of you or it another second.
(2) You shit sunshine babe and that can get really annoying after awhile.
(3) You were fun for a minute. But I think I'll go back to my wife.

One of the best post- break up songs I have ever listened to over and over until my ears bled heard. Christina Perry's Jar of Hearts.