Back in high school, I had the biggest crush on this blond haired, blue eyed, boy. I had convinced myself we would be perfect together. And no one could convince me otherwise. It is near impossible, once I make up my stubborn mind, for anyone to change it.
Almost daily I would get someone to drive me past his house. My friends, mom and sisters even nicknamed it, "taking a run". Funny, out of all of the times we drove by, not once did I ever see him outside. It didn't matter, it was making the effort to drive by that did. Because in my mind, effort, no matter how big or small, is always rewarded.
When this boy graduated from high school and I remained in obscurity, I refused to give up. I kept on hoping and believing and working to get him to notice me. Eventually, all of my hard work paid off. The summer of my senior year, he came home from college and finally, finally, asked me out! Woo hoo. I thought, this is it! What I had been wishing for all of these years, was finally going to happen. I couldn't believe my good fortune.
As I sit here and recall how painstakingly I prepared for that date, I'm cracking up. As you can imagine, I lamented over every minute detail: hair, make-up, nail polish and finding the most amazing, knock your socks off, out fit to wear, everything had to be perfect. I refused to blow my shot at what I had been working for, for so long. (Honestly, I don't think I've put that much effort in getting ready for anything since, not even my wedding!)
Since I'm ridiculously bubbly and effusive to begin with, it should go without saying my excitement level was off the charts that night. I couldn't contain it! Unfortunately, my excitement was short lived. It became apparent, rather quickly, this blond haired, blue eyed boy, was not all I had cracked him up to be. At all.
Before we even left my neighborhood, I had an inkling something was off about him. Yes, I may have had some outrageous expectations, but Lord Almighty, I have never met a bigger drip. Yep, a drip.
The boy was a giant blond DUD with a capital "D". He had zero charisma! It was like pulling teeth to get him to speak or show any emotion. And it wasn't like he had some type of cool, laid back, zen-ish attitude I could grow to respect. Nope, he was just flat out boring. He had no personality, at all. Nothing, nothing, nothing is worse than a dude that's boring.
I spent so much time building him up to be the end all be all to my happiness, I set that poor boy up for epic failure. I can't fault him for it, he did nothing but be his one-dimensional, paper doll self. There is only one guy I know of who would have totally lived up to all of my expectations... Hugh Jackman..sigh. (And, here we go again!!)
Was there ever an instance in your life, when you pinned your hopes on something, or someone only to be vastly disappointed? Because I'm curious, did you blame it on yourself, the other person, or your circumstances?
Although I learned this lesson years ago, I still need to remind myself of it, much more frequently than I'm comfortable with.
