About Me

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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Some very good Christmas presents I received, along with some very, very, bad.

Christmas Eve brought Santa Claus and lots of presents to my house. Some very good presents, but some very bad. Number One of the list of "not so good" gifts we received: the 2:00 a.m. wake up call of daughter #1 tossing her cookies and simultaneously blowing up the toilet; the unmistakable trademark of the dreaded Rota Virus. (See my old blog from back in July, titled "It's all fun and games until..." to learn how I really feel about this!) Needless to say, the virus has systematically been taking down each one of us ever since. I'm still a little under the weather, and just this morning the virus claimed it's fourth victim, daughter #2. The only one that has yet to be taken down is The Husband. He, however, has a stomach made of cast iron and super human resistance to all such plagues, so here's hoping it never does get him.

Second on my list of bad presents: a sewing kit. WTH? I don't sew. Not one stitch. Those of you who know me will recall the last time I used a sewing machine my thumb somehow got in the way and I sewed it to the freakin fabric! Could you imagine what I'd do with a needle and thread? Ugh. I'm a sewing disaster. The only thing worse than buying me a sewing kit would be buying me a scrapbook! I will, however, keep the stupid sewing kit, just in case my mother needs it or my daughters may one day have a desire to take this passion up :)

Third on my list of bad presents: I had already put an 11 pound spiral ham my parents gave us (and all the fixings) in the oven for Christmas dinner, before the virus called out my name. Only The Husband and daughter #2 were well enough at the time to eat any of it. Anyone care to share some recipes for left over ham? It would be greatly appreciated...

On the bright side, Christmas did bring a few good presents! Number one on that list: since I contracted the plague, I made it through the Holiday season without gaining any weight. Major accomplishment!

Second: Hands down best gift, my Wolverine Pez Dispenser I got in my stocking. Love it!

Third: Before we all got sick the MIL took all of her grandaughters, daughters, and daughters-in-law to go see A Christmas Carol, one of my all time favorite plays. It was fabulous and as usual, I cried like a baby through the entire show.

Fourth: Our wonderful, fantastic, good-looking neighbor who is AWESOME came to our house and snow blowed! How much do we love him? I would love him even if he wasn't so hot, but dang some people just have it all!

So overall: this Christmas, the good definitely outweighed the bad. And I will continue to keep Christmas in my heart all year long. As for you, I hope Santa brought you everything you wanted for Christmas and I wish you all a very Happy, HEALTHY, New Year!...xo

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Pics of Me at the Emlen Physick Estate, in Cape May

It's Christmas in Cape May! (But Holy Crap was it cold!!) I LOVE to see all the Victorian houses decorated for the Holidays. I asked/begged the husband to take me on yet another tour of the Emlen Physick Estate for my B-day. Love, love, love it! Thanks to MAC (MID-ATLANTIC CENTER FOR THE ARTS & HUMANITIES) this beautiful home was saved from demolition and restored to its former beauty. Taking tours helps off set the costs of the on-going upkeep of the estate. Take a trolley tour (they are heated) and go take a peek into this wonderful example of a Stick Style Victorian which contains the magnificent, trademark designs of Frank Furness. The Physick Estate was considered quite avant-garde for Cape May back in the Victorian era. Drop by the Tea Room afterwards to warm up with some hot tea, scones and clotted cream....

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

How new Jeans became a Christmas miracle..

I've learned that nothing can change your entire look, body shape and sense of personal style as quickly as a pair of jeans. I think it's safe to assume most of us have owned at least one pair of jeans in their lifetime. Some that we have loved and some that we hate, yet we all chose to wear them. I wear jeans pretty much every single day now, except on the rare occasions when I must dress up. And even then, I usually just opt to upgrade my usual t-shirt to a blouse and swap my sneakers for heels, but I still rock the jeans. Since I've lost so much weight, I was in dire need of buying some new jeans and this is what opened a whole can of worms for me.

I have to admit, I'd been putting off the shopping for new jeans for a really long time. Most people can't wait to try on new, smaller sizes, once they lose weight, but I had absolutely no clue where to start. I was really feeling like I didn't fit in anywhere anymore. The can of worms popped open the underlying issue at hand, which was much bigger than having to shop for new jeans, I was struggling hard to find a new sense of self.

My personal style had been lost. I didn't know who I was. I've gone through a lot of changes, and so had my style choices. I'm not out in the corporate world anymore, but I work my butt off from home. I'm not that young anymore, but I'm not that old, either. I'm not that thin, but I'm not that fat anymore either. Are you starting to see the pattern here? Surely, this was not going to be an easy task. After yet another round of miserable jeans shopping, I ended up with nothing. I was sincerely depressed. Nothing was making sense anymore and I began to despair. I almost gave up. Just when I wanted to throw in the towel and say forget this, I'm going to go eat a pizza, and just keep on wearing the same old, tired, baggy jeans I had been wearing all along, God sent me a Christmas miracle.

Two, beautiful, chic, fashion-forward, 20-something girls happened to waltz my way. They entered my personal space and altered it immediately with their air of confidence and Juicy couture. They were both wearing the hell out of their jeans and looked amazing. When they saw me sitting there in the sad, pathetic state I was in, they took pity on me. After hearing all about my trials and errors, they grabbed me by the hand and dragged me with them to a place I never would have thought my 39 year old ass should go. The Juniors Department.

They sized me up and in about 30 seconds they grabbed 10-15 pairs of jeans off the rack for me to try on. I began to stammer and protest but they made me promise not to say a word, until I tried them on. I would have never picked these particular styles of jeans for myself because: (1) I would never think they would fit me. (2) I thought they were styles that were way too young for a mom like me to wear. (3) These particular jeans were meant to be worn so tight they could be mistaken for pantyhose. But, at this point, what did I really have to lose?

My two new girlfriends stayed with me in the dressing room until I tried on every single pair of jeans they picked out for me. And do you know what? Those jeans looked GOOD! Yeah, I said it. I, looked GOOD. These girls knew what they were talking about. Then they even went and picked out some cute shirts and accessories for me too. They were incredibly supportive, made me laugh, and stopped me from my sniveling pity party. Ultimately, they did the impossible, they talked me into buying three pairs of jeans I absolutely would never have thought to buy. I am so grateful for these two angels/girls for their intervention and hooking a mamma up!

Thanks to my new friends, whenever I wear my new jeans, I no longer feel old, inappropriate or fat, which is pretty much as close to a Christmas miracle as you can get!!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

PA Ren Faire!!

I know I'm not in costume...and that's really lame. Please allow me to explain why. When we visited, it happened to be "Halloween Daze and Spooky Knights" weekend. The husband and I let the girls choose what they wanted to wear. The two big girls decided they didn't care and still wanted to wear their Ren Faire attire, but my little one wanted to rock the Batman mask/cape/suit. I love to encourage their individuality and didn't want to "choose sides" so sans costume I went.

Hands down I love people watching more than anything else at Ren Faire. I love the outrageous costumes, crazy speech, bad acting and I especially love how the big girls pull their corsets so tight their boobs fall out the top. In all seriousness, someone needs to teach a class on corsets 101. Somebody could get hurt! The funniest thing was my daughter's reaction. She said, "Geez, there sure is an awful lot of CARNAGE going on around here!" LOL. So I said, "I'm pretty sure you mean cleavage!" The husband said, "She was right the first time!" Anyway, other than ogling all of the people and finding future characters for my books, I had a blast eating my way through the faire grounds.

The food there is AWESOME. I would like to recommend all of my favorites to you which were: (1) the Wicked Pickle, Giant dill pickles on a stick, need I say more?
(2)The Royal Kitchen's giant turkey leg. See picture of me, mid-chomp. The turkey leg is roasted over a spit and chock full of greasy goodness. It weighs no less than twenty pounds and I gnawed on that bad boy for about two hours! (3) The Queen's Creamery. Of course, we can't forget about desert. A scoop of vanilla ice cream over homemade apple strudel, YUMMALICIOUS. And last but not least,to top off the day in my usual style (4) Dark Knight Cafe's Cappuccino. Fan-frig-in-tas-tic.

It was a stellar day, one my family will not soon forget. Can't wait to go again. As soon as I can find that corset...

Monday, November 1, 2010

"My Special Dream"

Throughout my life, I've had my share of crazy dreams. Believe it or not, a lot of writing has been inspired by dreams. Mine in particular comes from a combination of my dreams or inspired by real life events either witnessed by me or relayed to me through friends and family. I realize not every one is a believer and that's fine, for them. For me, not believing, after what I've seen and heard is not an option. To me, angels and demons could never be "just a work of fiction" or "an overactive imagination."

Children always believe much more readily in the supernatural than adults. They tend to see many things we can not. When they excitedly tell us adults, what do we do? We don't believe them! We allow too much other information to color our response and try to disprove anything that just doesn't make sense. We want to deal in absolutes and put everything neatly into boxes. I've learned to never put God in a box!!

When God is trying to tell us something, sometimes it is just easier to get our attention through dreams. I believe that's why when we are sleeping, our minds are more open (like a child's) to allow such things. And before you all start calling me a kook and a heretic, see (Gen 40:6-8,Job 33:14-18,1Kings 3:5, Joel 2:28, Matt.1:20, Matt. 27:19, Acts 2:17 just to name a few) Throughout the entire bible, you can find instances of God using dreams to contact people.

My youngest is only six, but she has been having a reoccurring dream since she was two. The husband and I had started noticing a pattern of her giggling in her sleep from when she was a little baby. She would be sound asleep and literally giggling her little head off. We thought it was adorable. I've come to find out whenever she was giggling like that, she was having "her special dream". She started trying to tell us about it when she could speak. She said, "Oh momma, I had good dream." I would ask her, "what about?" And she would say, "Jesus and the bunnies." Alrighty then. She would be so overwhelmingly happy, we just left it at that. A few years later, when she was around four and a half she would periodically wake up giggling again and say, "I had my special dream last night."

After several attempts to get her to elaborate, she finally revealed to us what her dream was about. I will try to relate it to you, the way she did to us.

"I see Jesus and He holds my hand. Then we walk together in a giant garden or this place with a lot of hills and green grass. It's always warm and sunny there and we talk and walk together holding hands. There are always a lot of bunnies hopping around too, mommy, like at our feet. And you know I love bunnies." Then I said, "Why are you always giggling?" She replied, "Because Jesus is really funny!" I asked "What do you talk about?" She said, "Ah, mom, that's private." I said, "What do you mean?" She said,"He just tells me stuff only I need to know." The husband and I were floored!

Like I said, she's six years old and still has, from time to time, her "special dream". Whenever we hear her giggling like crazy, we smile. I, for one, am convinced, Jesus is telling her just what she needs to hear. If only the rest of us would be as open to hear and receive it!!

Friday, October 29, 2010

My child, called me "childish" ....

Oh what a beautiful morning it had started out to be today. Isn't it funny how quickly things can change? It started out with the sun shining and the birds singing and then ahhh, the sound of my middle child squealing at the top of her lungs.

Child: "MOOOOOM!"
Me: "What's wrong?"
Child: "I need a folder for Health and if I don't bring it in today, I'll get an F."
Me:"Um, you waited until ten minutes before the bus comes to tell me you need a folder, today?"
Child: "Yeah,sorry."

Now, being the wonderfully enabling mother that I am, I did what any other enabling mother would do in my position; I ran around the house like a lunatic trying to find a folder for her. The only folders I know I can put my hands on in five minutes are mine and I have exactly three. One I keep all of my work papers/stuff in, the second I put all of my writing stuff in, like my research, story lines and any other misc. info that pertains to writing and the third I keep all of my household papers and crap in. In any event, to offer her any one of these three very important folders of mine was very kind of me. She failed to see it that way. I quickly ran back downstairs with three minutes to spare and handed her folder number one, now emptied of all of my work papers. I temporarily transferred the papers into folder number two. It went something like this.

Me: "Here, take this one."
Child: "Are you kidding me?"
Me: "No. What?"
Child: "Wolverine? Mom, really?"
Me: "What's wrong with Wolverine?"
Child: "I'm not a boy and I'm not obsessed with him like you are."
Me: "So what, you need a folder."
Child: "Don't you have any others?"
Me: "Fine"

Secretly, I was a little happy because I didn't really want to give up my Marvel Comics folder with Wolverine on the cover. Do you know how long it took me to find him? Anyway, I ran back upstairs and brought down folder number two. Now it's contents have been removed and stuffed into folder number three.

Me: "Here, take this instead."
Child: "Have you lost your mind?"
Me: "What now?"
Child: "Mom, really?"
Me: "What's the problem?"
Child: "Wonder Woman!"
Me: "She's a strong and powerful, outspoken, Amazon woman. You should relate."
Child: "Mom, the kids will make fun of me."
Me: "No they won't. Wonder Woman is cool."
Child: "Not in my class. Don't you have ANYTHING without a comic book hero on it?"
I hesitated, knowing she wasn't going to like option number three any more than one or two.
Me: "Ye-es."
Child: "Who's on it mom?"
Me: "Goth Hello Kitty."
Child: "Bah. I have the most childish mom in the whole world. I'd rather get an F than get laughed at."

Now at this point I'm getting pissed. She's insulted me, is being less than gracious and all because she not only disapproves of my choices, but is afraid of what the other kids will think of her. (I want her to know better, and being that I needed to be reminded of that lesson again myself, just last week, see "My 20year High School Reunion blog entry) I admit it, I lost my patience. I yelled at her for waiting until the last minute and how she should be grateful to me for offering her any folders of mine at all. I also reminded her how she shouldn't care so much about what anyone else thinks of her. I said, "Girls, mommy's proud of my Wolverine and Wonder Woman and little pink Hello Kitty folders (even if I'm old) because I don't care what other people think."

With all of the yelling and screaming going on, it has roused Daddy from sleep. He quickly hears the problem and goes in search of some of his folders. Hopeful, once again, that she might still have a chance of getting a folder to school that is non-embarrassing my middle child waited with baited breath for what seemed an eternity.

Child: "Surely, Dad's folder couldn't be worse than one of mom's."

Clearly, she was wrong. The husband came back holding a folder with Yoda on the cover that said, "Size Matters Not."

Child: Rolls her eyes and says, "Now I know why you two got married."

Thursday, October 28, 2010

My 20 Year High School Reunion

When I first received notification of my 20 year reunion and I responded, "yes" to attend, I felt paralyzed by one emotion and one emotion only, FEAR. Fear of what I look like! I've had three kids in three years and unlike a lot of my fabulous friends, I've never had any botox injections or any other cosmetic surgeries to speak of. I was fearful of my weight, I was fearful of what I should wear, I was fearful of what I would say and I was fearful of who all was going be there. My vanity was obviously at the forefront of all the fear I was feeling....and it started me down the road of very unnecessary anxiety, drama and nonsense, all for nothing.

Now that it's all said and done, I'm so ashamed of myself! I'm ashamed that over the past few months I barely ate a thing and I exercised like a maniac. I'm embarrassed to admit how much time and effort I wasted on picking out something to wear! I lamented my decision like I was going to the Academy Awards and worried myself into no sleep. I know better than that! I counsel people all the time against such stupidity and yet here I was, acting like the stupidest idiot of all time. So I must ask myself, in all honestly, when will I learn? When will I learn, it's not about me? When will I learn substance over form? When will I learn to love me for me? All I should have been concerned with was reconnecting with old friends and having an epic evening out with the husband, sans kids. Again, I'm ashamed to admit that up until I walked through the doors of the reunion, all I focused on was ME.

I was being ridiculous. Absolutely, positively, ridiculous! I know that now, but it took me way too long to figure it out. The reunion was absolutely wonderful and I was so happy to see so many of my old and dear friends. The husband and I had an incredible evening! We had such a good time I'm still smiling and hoarse and it's almost a week later! What was I so hung up about? Geez.

Let me take a moment to point out, just how patient and gracious our amazing God is! I want to tell you how incredibly grateful I am for the awesome God we serve. I need to take the time to thank Him for His Grace and His gentle way of correcting me (and others) when we are blinded by our own stupidity! And, as always, I'm thankful for His awesome sense of humor that always lends itself to these ridiculous situations I get myself into.

Our time is so short on this earth and the years fly by so quickly. Before you know it, I will be looking at an invitation to my 30th reunion. I pray I have learned my lesson so next time, I'm filled with the joy and anticipation of seeing old friends instead of being filled with dread and fear about something as ridiculous as "what am I going to wear?"

Friday, October 1, 2010

Motivator, please!

So lately my sister and I have been watching R movies on regular tv. Which is a good thing because all of the cusses are censored. And I really don't need to be hearing any more cuss words. But have you ever really heard what they come up with to substitute some cuss words with? Next time, listen closely, because we found what they come up with to be HILARIOUS!

Right off the bat, from the moment I heard it, I decided I was going to start using the network's substitute for MF'er. It happens to be a cuss word I'm infamous for amongst my friends. (Usually I say MFF'er under only the most dire circumstances, or when the Husband has pushed me beyond my limits) Now that I've heard the substitute, it has become my new favorite of all time!

At first it was very hard to distinguish what the actor was actually saying. After hearing MF dubbed out and the substitute repeated about ten times in a row we finally realized he was saying, Motivator! At one point, he even says it like, "Motivator, please." I almost pissed my pants.

This may be the break through I've been looking for to stop cussing. I've been trying in vain for years. So many times I have to catch myself and usually I wind up saying my own version of substitutes such as, "oh, shi-caca." Or "Blasterd" and now I can add to that awesome list, "Motivator, please". Rock on!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Lauren who made a beautiful bride, and me, her cousin, an old Italian lady....

My cousin Lauren's wedding was magnificent. I loved every minute of it. She made a beautiful bride, as I always knew she would. When my sister saw me, she said, "oh my gosh, you look like an old Italian lady!" and I said, "I AM an old Italian lady!!" Later on she clarified her statement by saying:
(1) It was just the big, curly hair, too much makeup, tight black dress etc. that led me to come to this conclusion, not that you looked old.
And I answered her, "the big hair, too much makeup, tight black dress, it's all in my blood, I'm destined to go out rocking this look, really, I don't even have a choice in the matter." LOL

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

New Character- One you will love to hate...

OK so a little back story here... This is the character I told you about who's a real departure for me. She is the epitome of all the "mean girls" I've ever encountered in my life rolled up into one and then times by ten. Just remember, there's a reason she's so evil. When you learn why she's such a bitch, maybe you will learn to love to hate her, just like me. Enjoy...

Chapter One- Bitch
God, I am such a bitch. I really am so good at being bad, it should be my super power. And everyone here worships me because of it. Ha! Isn't it ironic, the meaner I am, the more they love me?

As I strut down the halls of Shore Hills Prep, the crowds part for me, their Queen, like the Red Sea. The lame dive for cover and those who dare step up and address me do so with quivering lips and unsure steps. I adore holding so much power over them, it's such a rush. I will be holding court shortly but am not yet ready to deal with the lessors, so I dismiss them with "the glare". They turn and run, tripping over each other in a futile effort to get safely out of my line of sight. My minions, ever so fearful of me, aptly named the power of one of my looks, "the glare". They can anticipate their fates according to a mere glance I shoot in their direction. What idiots, each and every one of them. It's a struggle to find an intelligence to come close to mine, much less equal or rival it; and that's including them all, students, teachers and even the Dean himself.

The Dean of Shore Hills, Mr. Nathan Lankowitz, may be MENSA smart, a Rhodes Scholar and a graduate of Harvard, but he is a social moron. It's actually quite amusing how easy it was for me to mold him into what I needed, like a blob of nerd silly putty in my hands. With years of being tortured for being a total geek (pocket protector and all) and his obvious lack of any female companionship, (other than his mother) it was over before it even started. I turned him out with such little fuss and fanfare, I was almost disappointed. Recalling the look on his face when he realized what he had done, with whom and how truly screwed he was, (in every sense of the word) well, now I really can't help but smile.

***Let me know if you'd like to

Saturday, September 4, 2010

My version of drunk dialing...

Lately my insomnia has been really raging. It turns out, after 3:30 am, I am wide awake but literally useless. I should stop writing altogether, but I just can't help myself. I do, however, stop working on my more serious projects, like my book. Nothing I write after hours is coherent, sensible or any good anyway. Well, at least not to anyone but me.

What to do, what to do? I hate to watch tv, can't really concentrate enough to read, so I came up with something to amuse myself. I created my own version of "drunk dialing" people. My version of drunk dialing is writing stupid poems and/or stories and then randomly e-mailing them to friends and family. Lame, I know, but strangely satisfying...

See my blog entitled "Phantom Crapper". Phantom Crapper was such an e-mail. I sent it to my little brother, knowing full well it was ridiculous and not really funny at all. (Well, except to me, at 3:30a.m.,it was frickin hilarious.) So I sent it lmao the whole time, thinking about how he would read it, then imagining his reply. I would not have to wait long. It was something along the lines of, it's 3:30 a.m., WTH is wrong with you? Which made it even more hilarious. Ah, it's the little things in life.

So as long as I suffer from this insomnia friends, get ready to randomly receive and read some seriously demented e-mails/blogs posted by a very deranged and sleep deprived me :)

Phantom Crapper

There's a Phantom Crapper who haunts my house,
Haven't caught him yet, but I'll flush him out.

You never know when or where you will find,
The irrefutable evidence he leaves behind.

Upstairs, downstairs, master, even the half bath,
None of them have escaped his malodorous wrath.

Phantom Crapper, there's one thing I know,
and that's you always reap what you sow.

Because if I catch you in the act, just
consider it your last, Phantom Crap.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Road to NOWHERE....

This weekend my family and I went on a road trip to PA. Normally, PA is a favorite destination of ours. Hershey, Lancaster, Harrisburg, Gettysburg, Poconoes, Love them! But that's not where we went this time. This time, we were invited to a wedding in a place way past all of our usual destinations, to a little spot called Entriken.

If anyone is reading this that's from that "town" I will just go ahead and apologize right now...I'm sorry!

Because, Oh. My. Word. That place is insane. It's literally in the middle of nowhere!! There was no cell phone service and there were no street signs. The roads there are SO CRAZY: narrow, windy, side to side, up and down, just completely nauseating!! We got so lost and without a signal on our cell phones, no GPS or no where to stop for directions, it got pretty hairy. Not to mention the super-sized bugs flying all around, hitting our windshield at warp speed; they scared the crap out of me. I was petrified of opening my window even a crack to let in the much needed fresh air, less I also let in mothra or a swarm of giant locusts with it. There are no stores, no where to buy gas, and not so much as one rest area. (Which is pretty much crucial for a car load of 3 little girls and one big one!) By the time we did get to our location, (Lake Raystown Resort) I was never so happy in my whole life.

It was really beautiful, except I was so damaged from the ride, I couldn't fully appreciate it. It took me a few hours to recover before I started to look around the resort and admire all of its amenities.

The wedding itself was wonderful. It had started to rain, but by the time the ceremony took place the storm clouds dissipated and the sun came out. It turned out to be a sunny day with a cool breeze, not bad for late August. The food was really good and the company even better. My little one danced her little feet off. A few people mentioned to my husband and I that we should provide her with dancing lessons, since she's really good.

Although it was a really fantastic day, in the back of my mind, all I kept thinking about was the hell ride we must take to get us back home. It's times like these I wish Star Trek was real and "Beam me up Scottie" was a viable option for me..

We managed to make it back home unscathed, although there was a really close call with the potty (my bad for drinking too much coffee) and one or two wrong turns along the way...all in all PA will still be a favorite vacation destination for us, we just won't be visiting the town of Entriken, any time soon. Or ever again. xo

Friday, August 6, 2010

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Random Pictures

These random pictures were all taken on the Big Island of Hawaii. The family and I are have really been missing the beauty of the island. We can't wait to go back. BTW the little leprechan is our good luck charm. Look for him in all of my pictures, you never know where he'll pop up.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Date Night

Went on a date with the husband tonight, which is always an adventure. We wound up sitting in traffic for almost an hour on the Parkway since there was a huge accident. By the time we crawled off at our exit, we were late and starving. We definitely didn't have enough time to go out to eat before our movie started. I was upset, but thought, oh well, we'll just grab some popcorn and snacks and eat later.

Nothing ever deters the husband when he's hungry and determined. All of a sudden, he whips out his cell phone and starts ordering a freaggin pizza! First of all, we were far from home so just the fact that he knows the number of a pizza place all the way down in Hamilton is pretty hilarious already. Then there was our conversation. Here's how it went down- me "Hun, we have no time to stop for a pizza." The husband, "We've got plenty of time" me, "The movie starts in exactly one minute" the husband, "Yeah, I know, that's why I ordered it to go", me "Are you serious?" Husband, "I'll just take it in with us!!"

And that's exactly what he did! It's been 12 years and he still never ceases to amaze me. It also amazes me how no one ever stops him!!! If I tried to pull that off, no one would ever let me waltz into the theater carrying a large pie! Somehow, he just manages to get away with it. Cripe.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, even though he drives me out of my ever loving mind, I have to admit life, with him, has never, ever been boring.


Soooo I may have mentioned before, I have very few vices. Other than stalking Hugh Jackman, practically none. I drink rarely, never smoke, Ben & Jerry are my only dealers with chocolate fudge brownie ice cream being my drug of choice, so I must confess my one dirty little habit...Rap. I LOVE IT. I roll along in my mini van blasting the LUDACRIS, Flo Rida, 50cent, Method Man, Busta Rhymes, Dr. Dre, old school, new school, you name it, usually the harder hitting, the better.

I know, I know..what a contradiction. But this white, Republican, Christian mother of three loves her some RAP...I have to hide my CDs from the husband in a secret stash in the back of the glove box. He knows the CDs are in there and he absolutely hates it! I've heard lecture after lecture from him as he drones on about how it's corrupting me and the lyrics are just so wrong. But I don't care. It's a matter of taste. And it's my one guilty pleasure I still refuse to give up.

I laugh to myself as I pull up at lights, windows down, rap blaring, my head bopping up and down, my Wolverine Bobblehead nodding right along with me, mouthing lyrics that make the people in the cars next to mine cringe. They have to look. But when they turn their heads and take all this in, their eyes bug out of their heads. They stare in shock, mouths dropped open, never expecting to see the Middle Aged White Bread Wonder that would be me... that's when I like to wave.

Sorry folks but it is what it is. Just like I tell the husband, this is a part of who I am. If you don't like it, "Get Back, Cause You Don't Know Me Like That" and I won't be apologizing for it either!! LOL

Sunday, August 1, 2010

So many books, so little time...

Those of you who know me, know I am a voracious reader. This is a list of what I read just this week alone. And yes, I'm well aware my house would be a whole lot cleaner and I would get a whole lot more sleep if I didn't read so much, but what fun would that be? So this week, I read

Allison Angrym's Tales of a Praire Bitch, which I highly recommend. Especially if you were a fan of Little House on the Prairie like I was. Nellie Olson rules!!
Sean and Leanne Tuoy's story, which was good, but if you already saw The Blindside, that pretty much covers it.

YA genre: Intertwined, Gena Showalter, love her! Love this book. *****
The Tear Collector, liked this. Different concept. Interesting, ***
Wicked Lovely, Ink Exchange, Fragile Eternity and Radiant Shadows, Melissa Marr, looking forward to seeing more from her in the future..loved this series *****

Romance: Promises to Keep, Jane Green Normally, I'm a huge fan of Green's but this book didn't really capture my interest. The recipes did more for me than the story. I like her old stuff much better. Sorry. **

For educational purposes, Bringing up Girls, Dr. James Dobson ***** great book, great advice, especially if you have three girls one year apart, like I do.

OK... so that's ten books in seven days, but who's counting? God, I love summer. :0)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

"Low BMI"

Just got back from the Dr.'s office and she told me I've lost 27 pounds since the last time I was there! Wait, what?

Ya, you heard me. Me, yes me who rocks a muffin top has been told that I have a low BMI...I am LMAO...Really? I guess I should retract my prior blog about the Rotavirus and begin singing its praises. Maybe I could somehow figure out how to funnel the germs into a drink and market it as the newest fad diet. I'd make a damn fortune!

Bottom line, I am shocked. Really, truly shocked. I knew I'd been losing weight but holy crap I usually have to sweat, bleed, cry and kick box my heart out to lose anything. Wow. Still in shock over here. Who knew the Rotavirus was all I needed to bring me back down to my wedding day weight! I wish I had recorded the Dr.'s voice so I could play it over and over again in my head.
This should not last long, so I would have liked to have kept it for prosperity.

Sorry I'm being redundant but I don't think I could ever hear or say it enough...

Monday, July 26, 2010

It's all fun and games until..!

It seems like every summer, no matter how many precautions I take, my family still catches the dreaded Norovirus. There is no mistaking this plague once it's unleashed. The minute the first victim goes down, you know it's only a matter of time. One by one, slowly it creeps up to claim you and every single member of your family and any living organism you have come in contact with in the past three days.

The demonic smell of this evil virus alone, is enough to take the strongest of us all out. You have never smelled anything quite like it on the face of this earth, trust me. It's so purely unique in its foulness, you know right away that you are dealing with something horrible, something other than human. Literally, it could be the "weapon of mass destruction" we've been searching for.

Almost like being in labor, when the first clench of a stomach cramp hits you, you know your time has come. Once the Norovirus has claimed you as its next victim, for the next 12-15 hours straight, you will become its bitch. The subsequent shrieks of protests that resound from deep within your abdomen have no effect. The VIRUS, once unleashed, never deviates from its mission. It's ultimate plan, of course, is for you and your entire household to empty your bodies of any fluids or solids ingested since infancy, from every orifice you have.

Over the course of the most miserable 12-15 hours of your existence, you have only two options. Pray and wait. Wild, errant thoughts enter your head while you are wallowing in the trenches. At first, I thought, wouldn't it be easier to just lay me down in the tub and let someone come hose me off from time to time? Then, around the tenth hour, when I was delirious, angry and quite possibly mad, I thought, come on, ROTAVIRUS, bring it, what have I got to loose? Another five hours of this and I will reach my goal weight !!

Then, like a King Cobra, as quickly as it strikes, it retreats, yet you just can't really believe it's gone. Although you wait for the counter attack, it's already moved on to its next victim. This is a good thing since you have no more fight in you. There's nothing left to give. The cold tile floor in your bathroom has become your resting place and it never felt so good. You may rest there for another twelve hours or at least until the dizziness and hallucinations pass. It's not until I'm at this point, when I know it's safe to pull myself up and climb into bed. It's only when I'm strong enough to pull the scale out and weigh myself, I know it's really moved on.

Although the battle is over, unfortunately, the damage is done. The whole house is wounded and just trying to get the smell out can takes weeks. Just consider every single pot, garbage can, blanket, pillow, comforter and pair of underwear your family has ever owned as collateral damage. There is no recouping those losses.

So what advice can I give after this kind of destruction? Go on with your life. Rebuild, take comfort knowing your skinny jeans fit you once again.. Live, laugh, love to the fullest. Because you never know. It's all just fun and games, until ....

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Writing, writing, writing

Got up early and worked all day long. I edited, wrote, edited, repeat. My eyes are crossed, my back hurts, and I have a headache from hell, but I am so happy I was able to get so much work done.

Can't believe it's 10:00 p.m. and I've been sitting in the same seat since 6:00 a.m. this morning. My poor kids stayed in their pjs all day and the husband had to make dinner. Everytime he asked me "what's for dinner" I growled at him. Finally, he gave up and fired up the grill. I scarfed a turkey burger in one hand and typed with the other. I didn't want to stop while I was in the flow.

Hopefully, one day all of this hard work will pay off and I will get published. Then maybe the husband and I could actually go out to dinner and celebrate!!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Oops I did it again

Oops I did it again, I think I pushed the husband too far. He went to the store for me yesterday and took my car. I got the phone call right away. All he said was, "Really?" And I knew.

My newly installed Wolverine Bobblehead, which I absolutely adore, went over like a fart in church. Normally he laughs at my obsession with Hugh Jackman, but ever since Wolverine Origins has been running on HBO that's all I've been watching or talking about. Everyone has their limits.

I'm not taking him down, I'm just saying, I might have to tone it down a bit...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

"I want to be famous"

My six year old daughter woke up and was seriously upset. Of course, I asked, "what's wrong?" And she replied, "I just want to be famous already!"

Gotta love that kid. She is always cracking me up. She literally made my sister Adrienne (sorry for outing you A, but it was just too funny to keep to myself) pee her pants a few months ago, because she made her laugh so hard. She really, really wants to be a star. She doesn't care if it's for her singing, acting or comedic abilities, she just wants to be famous. And I have no doubt she one day, very well may be.

There is never a time when Franchesca a/k/a Frankie isn't "on". Wherever we go, no matter what we do, she is always looking for a chance to perform. Her jokes are delivered with perfect comedic timing and with sheer brilliance well beyond an average six year old's capabilities. She's even created her own language, which she named after herself, she calls it "Frankanese"..LOL But what do I do with that as a responsible, caring parent?

I don't want to become the stereotypical "stage mom" pushing her, taking the fun out of it all by rushing and running my kid here and there all over NYC, fussing over her hair and makeup like the God-awful "Toddlers, Tiaras, etc." parents. I don't want my kid to start to look like a little 6- year-old tricked out Barbie doll; just the mere thought of it makes me want to vomit. There are some reputable agents out there, but they are few and far between and most cost copious amounts of money I am unable to spend. On the other hand, I don't want her to think I don't believe in her, or that it's not possible for her to go after her dream. I don't want her to look at me one day and say I never provided her with the opportunities she needed to succeed. Hmm. What a pickle. Any suggestions? I'm open to hearing some....

In the meanwhile, here are just a few samples of things my kid has said that has caused us to crack up:

Just in Hawaii alone, she didn't stop. Here are a few instances that stand out and I can remember off the top of my head:

While we were sitting at a very crowded outdoor cafe eating breakfast, across the street from the beach, a very pale, pasty, skinny man in a very tiny, weeny, white Speedo comes up out of the water and stood there staring at us. Frankie looks up from her pancakes, looks at the weenie bikini guy, and loudly announces, "Mom, that's just wrong!@".... (The entire patio full of people lost it..)

Once, when the husband was walking full steam ahead of us, Frankie wanted to walk with him but couldn't catch up. To get his attention, she opera sang LOUD, "If you give me your hannnnd, I'll give you my loooove..."

Frankie grabbed a "walking stick" to help her while hiking, since it's a very hard hike for a six year old to get to the top of the volcano. When she got to the top she said to everyone gathered there, in her best Yoda voice and impression, "I am a Jedi warrior.. size matters not..do or do not Luke Skywalker, there is no try!!" Everyone was dying.

Monday, July 5, 2010

It's been a long time. ...

Wow. It's been such a long time since I last blogged I kind of forgot where I left off...

I'm extremely grateful for my little brother and his superior intelligence in IT (it's awesome being related to the Geek Squad) He spent four hours at my house, two of which were on the phone with Verizon, a/k/a India, and then again with HP a/k/a India when he finally figured out the problem. I still don't totally understand it myself, something that has to do with the programs, which doesn't make sense to me, since I have a brand new computer, but whatever. Everyone who knows me knows I don't know jack about how computers work and I don't care as long as it actually does work!

In the meanwhile, I've been writing a lot and working with pencils and paper, which is a total pain. I have all of these little yellow post its with thoughts and ideas scribbled on them all over my house. Being able to sit here and type this out on the computer is such a gift, I'm not kidding, I can't wait to finish what I've started.

Just this morning, I had a new book idea. So I got up really early, put on a pot of coffee and thought, I'm just going to flesh this out real quick into an outline. But before you know it, it's almost 1:30 pm and I had the entire first chapter done!! The main character is really a challenge and I'm looking forward to exploiting all of her possibilities in the near future. Before I feel I can continue further, I must finish editing "Breaking Cardinale Rules". It's not technically ready to send to a publisher, yet. When I need a break from that, I'll work on the second book in that series, "Finding Moore". I started it while in Hawaii so I thought it only appropriate my characters start out there as well. It's a lot more intense than the first book, less introspective and lots of fun. Can't wait to see where this all takes me.

My kids and the husband are always saying, "Mom, your doing it again!" Doing what, I ask? "Staring at nothing." And I have to explain, (like I'm not totally insane and my explanation makes perfect sense) "I'm not staring at nothing, I see lots of things in my head!"

Any writer knows what I'm talking about. It just sneaks up on you sometimes, you can't help it. I can be out at the store, on the phone, anywhere really and a great plot or character just hits you, and you kind of explore it in your mind for a minute or two, (sometimes longer) and you get caught, just kind of staring at nothing. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! LOL

I hope to have my work published in the near future and hopefully one day, when my kids are grown and I'm long gone they will be able to hold my books in their hands and say, "wow, she really did see lots of things in her head!!"

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Too Much Information!!

Ok- I have so much to blog I am going to have to break it up or this will be even more confusing than my usual ramblings. First and foremost: While away in Hawaii, my house got struck by lightening. Seriously. I have lost my computer totally. ( I am using my parents right now) All of the information, including but not limited to my 375 page book, have been lost. Everyone's favorite question is, didn't you have a surge protector? Duh. Of course I had a surge protector, FYI, they aren't worth shit if your house is actually struck by lightening!! They only help if there is a SURGE in the power, hence the whole surge protector name thing. The next question is, didn't you back it up? Yes. Yes I did back it up. Unfortunately, the flash drive I used, isn't working! It keeps coming up BLANK.... So needless to say, I'm pretty upset. I can't really write too much more on that without my head exploding so I am gonna be done now.

Second: In addition to losing my computer, I have no power in many random areas of my house. The hot water heater blew up, so did the tv, phones and any and all other various household appliances you would want to use upon returning home after a long trip, like Hawaii.

Third: Hawaii. My favorite of all. Thank God we did not know of all the craziness until we got back, which meant, while on vacation, everything was wonderful. Hawaii is awesome. I will break that down into many mini-blogs for sure, but overall AWESOME is the best word to describe it.

I, keeping true to form, took the worst pictures of all time and will not be posting most of them. The worst (immediately upon seeing it, it was burned and all copies similarly disposed of) was the picture of me the husband took, from behind, right up in my business. The poor person who developed that film either had the laugh of his life, or the immediate pleasure of his lunch returning through his stomach and out his mouth. Then, of course, there are my regulars, one eye open and the other shut, my mouth full and talking etc. etc. None of which will be appearing on this blog any time soon. The children, of course, look fantastic and I ruin all of the family shots with my hideous picture taking curse.

Looking forward to elaborating on all of the above in the near future, hopefully on my own computer from the comforts of my own home. (Which, hopefully, will also be returned to normal)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

So pissed. Really truly mad. And it takes A LOT to make me mad.

OK. I am so pissed off it's not funny. Can't remember the last time I was this mad at something other than "The Husband". You are all well aware of my eating next to nothing and kickboxing schedule that has increased substantially since my fat white rear end is due to land on the unsuspecting beaches of Kona in the very near future, right?

Do you recall when I recently blogged about the kids being sick and me being stuck in the snow storm with them? Isn't it just my freaking luck to actually manage to lose weight, while being trapped in the house during the past three snow storms, with my family eating like crazy all around me? Yet, I really did do it! I was so very proud of myself. Until, four days ago, I weighed myself and my weight had gone up. Way up. Like almost five pounds up. How can that be since I was right on track for a change, working out like a fiend and eating jack shit to sustain a fatty like me? Turns out the kids had Fifth's Disease. And now I do too. (Should have known something was very amiss when my oldest daughter starting screaming, mom, come quick, I look like HellBoy!!) Only instead of being covered in a raging red rash, when it comes to this adult female, it manifested itself a little differently than with the kids. I can't walk! My knees, hands, elbows and feet are so swollen I look like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Girl!! And I'm PISSED! All of that hard work, right down the drain.

But wait, there's more.. To make me even more furious, I have to go on steroids. Steroids, of course, have the awesome side effect of making you bloat and GAIN WEIGHT. Man, I am so discouraged. I know this is so unlike me, to be angry, pessimistic, overall pouty and whining like a little girl, but I am really, truly angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.... LOL. Maybe I will turn into a giant Hulk like creature, now that I am on the juice. I'm definitely mad enough to! It just doesn't seem fair. I've tried so hard. I've put in so much effort and now I'm going to be sitting on the beach in Hawaii, dodging the harpoons. Damn.

Yes, I know I am being melodramatic. The husband offered no sympathy to my plight and tears of frustration, but what did I expect from the very same man whose favorite form of entertainment is to eat meatball subs and watch me, from the couch, while I work out? Ugh. He just says "no matter what, you always look hot." No offense to the husband and I do appreciate the compliment, but I'm not on a diet or doing any of this for him, I'm doing it for ME.

So here I am, depressed and angry, ten pounds up, when I had been only ten pounds away from my goal weight! And there is not a freagging thing I can do about it. Doesn't that justify, just a little bit of my anger? I'm sure anyone who has ever had to battle losing weight would agree with me. Hopefully, I will be able to overcome this and be back to my usual, optimistic self soon :(

Friday, February 26, 2010

Combining our "Super Powers"

Last weekend I hosted a small dinner party for 10. My daughters wanted to have Italian food of course, so I made raviolis and a quick gravy (sauce for all of you non-Italianos) and meatballs. After I put it together, my mom called and told me she was making her gravy too; she put sausage and beef in hers. I told her to bring it over and we combined them.

Holy crap I swear it was like we combined our "super powers" because that was the best gravy I have ever tasted, EVER. It was amazing. I told the husband I couldn't wait to eat it again, with all of the leftovers. I dreamed about it, it was that good. My kids couldn't get enough of it either. Unfortunately, neither one of us thinks we could recreate the magic; it must stand alone in our memories. It is my new plan however, to combine our super powers for all of my dinner parties in the future!

The party was fun, the food was better than ever and all in all it turned out to be a really great night :)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Je suis FINI!!!

So stoked I finally finished Book One in my series, "Breaking Cardinale Rules" yesterday. This morning I went to the library and printed it out (thank you Maggie and Adrienne for all of your help) and I am so, so happy!! An awesome celebratory lunch followed with mom at the Stafford Diner.

Now comes the really hard work, the editing, copyrighting and the composing of a golden query letter to interest publishers who generally aren't too crazy about taking on new authors. Wish me luck! This has always been my biggest dream; to be able to get the crazy characters and plot lines that live in my head down on paper and to have other people actually care about them too!!

I will keep everyone posted on my progress....hopefully good news about finding a publisher/agent will follow.

PS-I just want to say a huge "Thanks" to everyone who helped me along the way, like my brother Chris and my sister A for the continual tech support as we all know I suck hard at it; my girlfriend Bonnie who listened to me bitch and moan a lot and my family for my overall psychosis while I'm writing...

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Wii Miis and small victories!

My youngest daughter has been very busy entertaining herself by making new Wii Miis that are meant to represent family and friends. One Mii looked a little different. Here's how that conversation went,

Me: "Honey, who's that supposed to be?"
Daughter: "Oh, that's my tranny!"
(The husband proceeds to choke on his sip of after-dinner coffee.)
Husband: "What?"
Daughter: "That's my tranny, isn't he awesome?"
Me: "He is amazing honey"
Husband: "Why did you make a tranny?"
Daughter: "Because they are people too."

Touchdown. I consider this to be a huge mom victory. I am constantly pounding it into my kid's heads that people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, religions and sexual orientations. I have always hoped and prayed that they will never judge others by their outward appearance alone. Let's just say The Husband is a bit more, "conservative". He is a lot less open-minded than I am and we often go toe to toe because of it. So this meant A LOT to me. Now, every time we play Wii I can see my daughter's tranny fencing, playing tennis, boxing and just living large. And I'm loving it.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Hugh Jackman is AMAZING, Duh.

It's been snowing incessantly and I am going a little stir crazy in the house. I had to put a stop to my watching of the X-men and Wolverine ad nauseum. My lusting after Hugh Jackman has reached an all time scary high and I felt very convicted. We all have our stumbling blocks, some people drink, some people smoke, I lust after Hugh Jackman.

So here are some of my favorite pics of him so I can justify the logic behind my lusting. He's just such a well- rounded guy.... he sings show tunes and loves to dance but can also kick your ass sideways if you make fun of him for it. (Not too many men fall into this special category.) Making him even more endearing is the fact that he really loves his wife and family and is not ashamed to say it. There is never any bad press about him, or any rumors of him messing around with the nanny or any other knob-like behaviour you normally see from Hollywood hotties.

It's snowing again and I have to pick a movie for the husband and I to watch. It amazes me after all of this time the only movie choice we ever agree on is if it has Hugh Jackman in it-I wonder if it's because he is secretly lusting after him too :)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Time for a laugh...

This is Me, in the black tank top, A in black print top...
This picture was taken in my BFF's backyard in CA (in the summertime) Happy to report this is a "before" picture of me, since it was long before I began losing weight. I am laughing so hard as I remember taking this with my sister A. Everytime we tried to stand next to each other our boobs got in the way.. it was pretty hilarious. We decided this was the closest we were going to be able to get! Love you Adrienne, you are the best. xo

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

General musings and a great Superbowl recipe...

Being trapped in a giant snow storm two weeks in a row is NOT a good place to be for someone whose dieting. Especially a dieter whose husband eats nonstop and wants said dieter to bake all of his favorite winter treats. Of course, I could always bake them and not eat them myself, but that's asking for a lot, don't you think? On top of the snow storm, it was the freaking SUPERBOWL, so of course, I had to bake some goodies. Here is my husband's favorite dip recipe: (originally passed to me from my beautiful girlfriend Shannon so I can't take the credit for inventing this) If you like Buffalo Wings, this dip is for you.

Buffalo Wing Dip
1 cup Louisiana Hot Sauce
1 cup Marie's Blue Cheese dressing
1 (8 ounce) pkg. cream cheese
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups shredded chicken
Mix all ingredients and bake @ 400 degrees for 15 minutes, stirring once halfway through. Serve with Frito's scoops. (They work best picking up this heavy dip without breaking)
If you bring this dip to a party I promise it will turn you into a ROCK STAR. No joke. It's fattening as hell but tastes just like a wing and it's super good. It's so easy to make too, just be sure you shred the chicken really well, it tastes much better even if it's a pain in the butt to stand there with the fork and shred it. Please let me know how you like it!!

So I just heard we are due for some more snow. I don't think I can take much more of it, how do people in Alaska do this day in and day out? It's so hard to stay motivated when it's freezing outside and all I want to do is snuggle up in front of the fireplace with my book and drink copious amounts of hot cocoa with the rest of my family. I'm trying everything I can think of to keep motivated. I actually went out and found a protein bar that doesn't taste like poison but it's a lot more fattening, of course. I'm sticking to my work outs and adding in even more little challenges throughout the day. (extra crunches, extra push ups-which I still suck at)

You would think this would be the perfect opportunity for me to get some work done on my book, however, nothing could be farther from the truth. With all of my family home, the noise level goes way up. Between the Wii and the kids and the husband and all of the demands, I'd be lucky if I have one coherent thought a day. All is not lost since I have been able to sneak in a lot of reading. Which always makes me happy.

This weekend I read: for my biography- Tony Curtis, American Prince, for my leisure, Dark Lover, JR Ward, for my faith, Finding Grace. I also pre-read any books I give to my girls so I also had the pleasure of perusing my daughter's copy of: "The Day my Butt Went Psycho, based on a true story"- which was hilarious. (I am not in the least bit ashamed to admit I sometimes prefer what my daughters are reading to what I have chosen..which kind of solidifies the theory of my inability to grow up)

Having a sister that works at the library is crucial. I would never be able to afford my book addiction if I had to purchase all of the hundreds of books I read. That having been said, nothing makes me happier then when I get a little extra spending money and I can go to Border's, get a coffee and go to town. That's my happy place.

Here's hoping I can make it through the next few weeks without gaining any weight. It would be even better if I could actually lose some. (I believe in miracles) Maybe I should go try on a bathing suit; that will kill my appetite for a month or two :)

Friday, February 5, 2010

Biggest Loser

Why can't I get through an episode of Biggest Loser without crying my eyes out? Yet, I can't get enough of that show. I guess its because I can relate to every one of the contestants. Rationally, I know I don't weigh anywhere near 500 lbs, yet I have had struggles with weight my whole life and I can totally empathize with them. I have no business complaining about having to take off my last fifteen pounds when someone like this season's Michael says "I need to loose one whole fat guy and I'll still be a fat guy!" He has taken off 70 lbs in six weeks! That's insane.

As I sit on my couch, watching, (eating a carton of Ben & Jerry's) I decide right away Bob is my favorite trainer. I love him, he is such a sweetheart. I've been worried about him though, he looks way too thin and a little too tired this season. Someone needs to feed that boy some hot dogs, damn. Anyway, he is definitely the "good cop" wherein Jillian Michaels is the "bad". She might be possessed by the devil the way that tiny thing jumps up in a 500 lbs person's face who's been starving themselves for weeks and yells at them the way she does. She's fearless. They might decide she looks like a tasty little morsel and gobble her right up. Regardless of their methods, kudos to both trainers, for their relentless pursuit to help these people. They are making a difference in their lives forever and the viewers all get to come along for the ride.

I thought it was usually cruel last week when they made the contestants go to Subway for lunch. They are already starving, cripes! Anyone who is from the East Coast knows Subway doesn't know how to make a decent sub. Even my kids changed their slogan to say, "Subway, eat YUCK!" They put one piece of crappy meat on seriously deficient bread and add vegetables to an Italian sub, HELLO? Earth to Subway, get a grip. Whenever my best friend from CA comes to visit, the first thing we have to do is take her for a proper sub. Real Italian bread, oil and vinegar, lots of meat, cheese and yummy goodness. Ah, do you see how I easily digress when it comes to food? If I didn't exercise like a lunatic I could easily be the 500 lbs person on the ranch, picking the remaining pieces of Jillian Michaels out of my teeth with a minty flavored toothpick.

By far, my favorite part of the whole show is watching how much weight they all have lost at the end. The finale is the best. When the contestants look back at themselves and are shocked at how much weight they have taken off. It is so rewarding. I can only imagine how proud they must feel about their accomplishments. It's amazing. I'll be tuning in for sure. I'm their couch quarterback, yelling encouragement and terms of endearment to them from my cozy position on the sofa, while eating frozen treats and thanking God he invented elliptical machines.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

So tired.

So tired. Spent the past two weeks being sick and taking care of sick kids, then trying to catch up on laundry and cleaning the house after being out of commission. My little one turned six but was too sick for her own birthday party. I had to cancel her party and move it to the next Saturday, wherein promptly at 6:00 (party time) it started snowing and we wound up having a full on blizzard. Kudos to the family who braved it all to come down here and party with us. It turned out to be a really great party after all. Birthday girl said, "I love my party, it was the best day ever!" My sister wound up sleeping over too b/c of the snow and we had so much fun!!

Unfortunately, I really haven't had the extra energy or time to work on my book. I was so tired and jacked up this week. Yesterday, I knew I had to go to Walmart so I actually got up, got dressed and was ready to leave by like 8:00 am. (I know so unlike me to be out and about that early) I got into the car and could not remember for the life of me what the heck I needed to buy. LOL I sat in my car for fifteen minutes (warming it up) and trying to remember. I still couldn't remember so I drove down the street to Bonnie's. After our usual coffee and book discussion, still couldn't remember. So I made Bon come with me and eventually SHE remembered what I told her I wanted b/c I had told her on the phone a few days before! LOL What the HELL am I gonna be like when I get old? I can't remember jack shit anymore and it's driving me crazy. Maybe it's the raging insomnia I suffer from. My sister used to tell me all the time if I didn't get enough sleep my synapsis wouldn't fire properly. (Yeah she talked to me like that for real-) I told her those bad boys hadn't been firing properly in a long, long time.

When my kids were babies I had to force myself to stay awake and pull all-nighters constantly. Because of that I have a really hard time falling asleep. My head just doesn't slow down and I lay there thinking up all of this crazy crap and all of the things I have to accomplish the next day. When I do finally fall asleep it's right before the stupid alarm goes off and I have to get up to get the girls ready for school. I've tried taking a lot of things but usually the only thing that works is I go for a while without sleep until one day I fall asleep on the couch right in the middle of folding clothes or eating dinner.

Funny thing is when I lived at home, wasn't married and didn't have any kids, I used to think I was tired. I really had no idea what tired even meant. Having kids redefines the word tired from the get go. Anyone who's ever been pregnant knows that first trimester tired is like having narcolepsy. You just randomly fall asleep where ever, whenever. The difference is, when your pregnant, you don't wake back up a few minutes later, you wake up the next day. And your still tired.

So here I sit, blogging away when I should be trying to get some work done on my book, or filling the dishwasher or figuring out what I need from the grocery store. Unfortunately, I know I won't get enough sleep tonight and my synapsis won't be firing again. Then I will just forget everything I have to do and will be right back where I started in the first place. So tired.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

My husband...

Where do I start with My Husband; I could literally sit here and write a new post about him everyday and never run out of material. I met him on November 9th, 1996 and my life has never (and will never) be the same. This will not be a sloppy, gushy testament of my never ending love for him, or an all out bash of his character. No, this is something entirely different, just like him.

There are many days My Husband incites me to such violence I want to throw hard objects at him! Usually, I just wind up cussing him with such superior skill, I could make truck drivers and sailors blush. Then there are the many days My Husband is my anchor; instead of throwing things at him, I want to throw my arms around him and hug him with all my might and never let go. He is, if I could sum him all up in one word, a "character".

Everyone who knows my husband either loves him or hates him; I really haven't found anyone who can vacillate in between (other than me). He is embarrassing, charming, annoying, funny, outrageous, exasperating as all get out, I could go on and on.... One thing is for sure, he is NEVER boring. Each day I wake up and never know what I'm going to get.

When we meet new people, I always start out our introductions by giving them The Disclaimer: As in, "the opinions and comments of this program or (my husband) are not necessarily that of the network" (me). And I'm being serious. You can pretty much bet if you ask my husband his opinion on just about anything, it will be the exact opposite of mine. Once you get to know him, you'll realize how funny that is and you'll also realize it's not necessary to ask him his opinion on anything, it will always be given, whether you want him to or not.

However, that being said, My Husband is an awesome father. My girls are forever laughing at him and with him; they know he would do anything for them. Recently, he called off a fishing trip he really wanted to go on. Deciding instead, to stay home and bring the girls to the mall, (his least favorite place in the entire world) just because the girls really wanted to go. My oldest daughter started to cry, saying, "it's ok Daddy, you don't have to take us, you should get to spend time with your friends too." He turned to her and said "there is nothing more important to me in this world than being your Daddy and getting to spend time with you." (This is a good example of a day when I want to hug him)

What a conundrum he is! My husband can be a sexist pig, yet when I am sick, (which unfortunately, has been quite often over the years) he will cook, clean, make the beds and take care of the girls. He will even braid their hair and paint their nails. Some picture of a big "macho" man he makes, holding purple sparkly nail polish in his giant hands and hollering, "hold still or you'll smudge."

As I sit here writing this, I am laughing to myself, remembering all of the crazy projects and ideas he has put me through over the years. If I don't laugh, I might cry. He is, right now, off starting a new project to torment me with. It's his latest idea/desire to have a bathroom all to himself (a la Al Bundy). I'm calling it his "man can".

So, I will continue to post updates on "My Husband" -as long as he continues to find ways to make me fall in love with him all over again and simultaneously incite me to acts of violence...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A carside view of Alcatraz....

Me & A on Fisherman's Wharf, one of my fav places! (when I'm rocking the ponytails you know its been a bad hair day!)

Pic to the left, Adrienne, Me in the middle and Karen to the right. Below, Roch, sister A and Me

Pictures of me (my sister and friends) on a trip to San Francisco this past summer. My fav people, my fav city. Really miss my best friend, her family and California. Especially today, when it's like 15 miserable degrees in NJ. Now I am on a "Countdown to Kona"...which is my next destination in a few months. BTW that means I am kicking up my workouts to double time- Nothing more disgusting than a fat white tourist, I've got a lot of work to do. (PS these pics were taken, pre-weight loss. I consider them my "before" shots)

Still working on my book and I suck at computers...

Those of you who know me, know how challenged I am with using the computer. I locked myself out of this blog and could only post by using something from youtube and sending it as a message.. I finally got back into my real account today! What a dork.

Anyway, I am happy to report I am still plugging along with my book (it was slower than ever during the holidays) and I have about 320 pages written so far, pre-edit. I am starting to work on the ending/conclusion now. Since I am going to be making this a series, I feel I need to work the hardest on my conclusion. Don't you just hate it when you get to the end of a book and it leaves you feeling unsatisfied? Yes, authors want there to be a reason to go out and buy book two, but I want to leave the reader with some sense of closure. Fortunately, most of my book flowed pretty nicely, up until now. I'm finding the conclusion to be my biggest challenge. Funny, I had the conclusion finished in my head way before I even started Chapter One, yet here I am stuck on producing it. I still have the general idea ready, it just needs some work.

It has been really hard trying to get the time to write. When my family is home I have a terrible time concentrating and I am continually being interrupted. If I ever get to publish this book, I will always remember the moment my youngest daughter started yelling for me to come and "wipe her butt" right when I was working on a very crucial scene. So it goes..

I will keep posting my progress (if I don't lock myself out of my blog again) Wish me luck!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

[Les Miserables] 10th anniversary - On My Own

When I was in high school there was a certain drama teacher (MR. ART SMITH) who ridiculed me for loving Les Mis and this song. He told me when I grew up and got an education in broadway I would be embarrassed for loving this. Well guess what? I grew up and I still love Victor Hugo/Les Mis and this song! Yes, Les Mis was my first intro to Broadway however, I still love it and always will (maybe even for that reason alone). I also happen to think Eponine steals the show with this performance of On My Own. So Mr. Smith, you can kiss it and should be ashamed of yourself for trying to embarrass a teenager for loving ANY broadway show! BTW, I'm so glad despite your attempts to dissuade me, I ignored you and went on to love all kinds of broadway... So, go me!