About Me

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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas, well, sort of..

After losing my sister (right before Christmas) all I remember of the holiday season last year was that it passed in a miserable blur of sorrow and pain. I'm so very sorry for my kids but I was a royal, hot mess and didn't enjoy any part of the holidays, at all. My husband had to decorate the house, purchase and then wrap every single present, alone. All I did was lay in bed, my heart broken, sobbing. Every single happy face I encountered that said, "Have a Merry Christmas!" would start me crying all over again. How could Christmas ever be merry again?

This year I am trying to make a concerted effort to suck it up and put on a happy face. Make no mistake, there is no way the holidays will ever be the same. My life will never be the same. There will always be someone, missing and it will never, ever, be the same without her. So how does life go on or how does one go on with life after such a tremendous loss?

I've been told I need to find a "new normal". Well, quite honestly, this "new normal" sucks. I miss my sister! However, this year, I will hold in all of my painful emotions as best as I can and try be stronger, for my kids. They really miss their Auntie and have been greatly affected by losing her too. I hope to try and become more like her, and likewise become to my kids what my sister was to me, which was, so inspiring. She, miraculously, stayed so full of hope, joy, selflessness, love, humor and kindness, even in tremendous suffering. Drawing upon her amazing example, and with lots of prayer, I hope I can manage to get through this.

So I will be having Thanksgiving at my house this year. And I will be doing my very best to make it happy. So have a Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas, everyone, and I will too. Well, sort of....