I'm not going to list all of the reasons (which are long and arduous) why I haven't been around. Life happens to us all. The bottom line is, I guess I stopped making blogging a priority. It's not because I don't love doing it or my affection for any of you has waned, it's because so many other things in my world must come first. How's that for honesty?
Today, is my daughter Frankie's birthday. Eleven years ago on this day I was in a much different frame of mind. Many of you already know the story of her birth and how difficult it was for me. For those of you who don't, I'll make a long story short. I came very close to death. Technically, I did die. But only for a minute...lol. The experience was, for obvious reasons, life changing.
Traditionally, January is a time of life reflections. To me, every January 23 is the day I reflect over my life choices. Taking stock of my life and what I have accomplished since the day my beautiful daughter was born and I "died", is of vital importance to me. Never do I want to feel like I've wasted my time. I never want to stop challenging myself to be better, to do more, to love more deeply. Every single hour, of every single day, I wonder if what I've accomplished or what choices I've made are worthy of my borrowed time. Because for some reason, I was given a second chance, and I refuse to waste it. Deep down inside, I can't help questioning, why? Why did I come back? What is my purpose for being here?
Of course, the obvious reasons jump out at me: for my husband, to raise my kids, for my family and friends. But I think, with no disrespect to the above, it goes much deeper than that. I feel like there is a purpose and a plan that God has for me that I haven't fully realized, yet. Oh, I have my suspicions what He'd like me to be doing... writing is something I am strongly compelled to do. At present, I have more projects that are taxiing around the runway than ready for take-off. I'm not entirely sure if they are ever meant to take off. That is something I plan on spending some serious thought and time in prayer about, this coming year. Unlike writing, some of my purposes were a whole lot easier to figure out. Like, being a Youth Group Leader, Sunday School Teacher and volunteering at our homeless/food outreach mission at church. All of those things I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I was meant to do. I hold each of those outreaches very dear to my heart and I absolutely love doing them. BUT, I still feel like there is more! More for me to do, more for me to implement in my life. And until I find out exactly what those other purposes and plans are, I will continue to wrestle with the same questions, year after year. Did I make it count? Did I do my best? How did I live? Are my priorities straight? How did I spend my time? Am I grateful for each and every breathe I take?
Maybe, you're like me and you struggle with your life reflections. Maybe, like me, you are continually searching for the purpose and plan God has for your life. And maybe, like me, this passage will bring you a measure of peace when you wonder about your life's reflections:
Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jersey Shore, United States
- In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.