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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Monday, July 7, 2014

Kettle Corn, The Wolverine and Lessons Learned

All of you who read my July IWSG post know that I suffered another health crises this past month. But what many of you do not know is what triggered it... Since I find the cause kind of hilarious and heart-breaking at the same time, I thought, why not share this little episode of suck with my blogging buddies? So, yeah,  uh, nothing average about this chick or what plagues me. It's always something so weird, so far-out and unbelievable. I don't know why I am still taken by surprise when whacked out stuff happens to me. Cause by now you would think I'd be used to the crazy, it's kind of my normal. 

One of my favorite snacks combos of all time is KETTLE CORN and an ice cold Dr. Pepper. Maybe not the healthiest thing to munch on, but hey, it's my guilty pleasure. I have always liked the sweet and salty combination, as well as the satisfying crunch the kettle corn makes when you pop it into your mouth. About two weeks ago, I was sitting down watching The Wolverine, (recently released on video AND on HBO rotation, woot woot) and popping kettle corn in my mouth, like usual. All of a sudden I realized there was a kernel, stuck in my throat. I coughed, I gagged. I hacked like a champ. But I could not dislodge the stupid kernel. This went on for a couple of hours. The feeling was quite uncomfortable because I knew that kernel was still stuck on my tonsil, but there was really nothing else I could do about it.

TWO days later, I couldn't take it anymore. My tonsil was starting to swell a little and the feeling of having something stuck in there went from uncomfortable to down right painful. Because I am a genius I decided I should stick my finger down my throat and dislodge the stupid kernel manually. My brilliant plan worked! Once I hacked the kernel up, I thought for sure this whole ordeal was over.  (I really should know better by now.) It didn't take but a couple of hours before a raging fire started blazing in my throat. I finally decided I should get a flashlight and take a look. What I saw wasn't pretty. My tonsil had a long white line on it, and it was inflamed to the size of a golf ball. I was pretty sure that  was not good.

Around this same time, I started to feel hot all over and could barely swallow. It was time I dragged myself to the doctor. When I say dragged, I mean more like crawled. I literally crawled into her office because by the time I got in to see her that afternoon, I was in a world of hurt. The doctor said I had an infected salivary gland/duct and it was bad. She scripted me some strong antibiotics and told me to gargle with this nasty stuff every couple of hours. My immune system isn't all that great and once my tonsil got so jacked up, the rest of my body just shut down trying to fight it. Subsequently, I spent the next three weeks in bed fighting off the stupid  infection. (And eating soft, mushy foods. I felt like a baby, having to squish everything up just so I could swallow it. I pretty much lived off of Lemon Italian Ice.)

Who knew? Seriously, what are the odds? I mean, who could have guessed I would go from innocently munching on my favorite snack and watching my favorite X-man to three weeks in bed recovering?  What's the weirdest health thing/accident that has happened to you? One thing is for sure, I need to come up with a new favorite snack. Cause I won't be popping any kettle corn in my mouth any time soon! (or ever again) Any good snack recommendations? What's your favorite?


  1. Once you chew them, Hot Tamales are squishy.
    Sorry that turned into such a painful ordeal! All from tasty Kettle Corn.

  2. Maybe that's -your- mutant ability manifesting?? Now, if you can just find a way to harness it for the good of all mankind! :D

    My wife has some rather odd ailments (hence my nickname of "Ailment Girl" for her), most stemming from food allergies she picked up while in the Army. I always tell her they did experiments on her because, just a couple of years ago, they all cleared up. She used to be allergic to wheat and deathly allergic to shellfish. She's over both of them now.

    I once jumped off a wall, jabbed a tree branch into my eye, and had a splinter on the lens....that's about as weird as I've had.

    Glad you're on the mend and lay off the kettle corn! :)

  3. Oh, jaybird! It could only happen to you! <3

    I'm not really sure what Kettle Corn is - perhaps we have it over here under a different name - I will have to consult Google!

  4. Ha, that's hilarious! Even though, we do of course feel bad for you. My wife was once eating an artichoke and got one of those tiny, prickly hairs in the center stuck in her throat. Just plain stuck. She drank glass after glass of water and nothing would wedge it free. Finally, the next day, it somehow came free after swallowing really hard. After that, her throat was sore for a week. Now she refuses to eat artichokes. What are the odds indeed.

  5. Sorry to hear your innocent snack turned into such an ordeal. Hope you are feeling much better now, Jaybird.

  6. That's the one thing I hate about popcorn, you can't control it sometimes.

  7. I'm so sorry. I had my tonsils out a few years ago and I will never ever recommend it to any adult who doesn't need to have them out for sure. Worst experience ever. Um...I like avocados. No chance of that getting lodged in your throat, I think. ;)

  8. I read this post the other day, while laying in bed (off my iPhone, which won't let me comment) and thought, Holy Carp, what are the chances. Then I recovered and thought about some of my recent experiences. I'm getting so tired of being jabbed by the vampires who couldn't hit a vein if their life depended on it, and if I have to pee in a cup one more time, I think I'll scream. I asked the doc what's up with all the blood test, am I too dumb to pass on the first go around.

  9. Oh no! My heart breaks for the no popcorn future. I love popcorn. I'd take it over chips any day. I've never had any freak health crisis. Knock on wood. Next time, I'd go to the doc straight away!

  10. Oh. My. Gawd. What a horrible story. I don't eat popcorn anymore, but I know it's one of the top choking hazard out there. That is just terrible. But you're feeling better now, right?

  11. Yikes! Who knew kettle corn had such a vicious streak? ;) Sorry it turned into such an ordeal for you!

  12. Oh, yikes! So sorry you had to go through something so terrible, and that you can no longer enjoy your favorite snack because of it. (I'd recommend something new, if I weren't the pickiest eater on the planet, haha.) I can't imagine how agonizing that must've been! :(

    Weird health stuff happens to me sometimes, too. Like, for over a decade, things smell/taste metallic to me 50% of the time. No doctor has ever been able to explain or fix it, so yeah, I'm stuck with it, heh.