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In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

A-Z Challenge B is for Bad Boys and IWSG Support Group



For those of you here for the A-Z Challenge; it's day two. Letter B. And B shall represent Bad Boys. As a bonus, today is also the first Wednesday of the month. That means it's time for the Insecure Writer's Support Group, which I never miss. In the interest of keeping things concise, please allow this post to serve both purposes. This one is for you, fellas.




Oh how we love our bad boys of fiction! When well written, those celebrated scoundrels stick with us through time and space and are never far from our minds. But if we are being honest, do they truly stay in that fictional space in our minds? 

If you think about it, whose profile do most women choose to date? Is it the perpetual bad boy, the one with an edge, the one who has no job, no car, major baggage and serious mental problems? Isn't it obvious, he's just wildly misunderstood. Clearly, he needs a girl just like them, to help "change" him.  (I wish I had a dollar for every time one of my girlfriends has used that line.) It really upsets me. Because I'm a fan of the nice guy. 

What about the "nice" guy? He has all the qualifications and characteristics a woman should desire, on paper. Yet he's the one that's usually  left in the dust. He's the one you could connect with instantly. A girl could find herself opening up to him, without fear. You also know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, (unlike bad boy) he would always be there for you. But he's expendable. In books, movies and sadly, all too often in real life.

When does the good guy NOT finish last? For once, can he not get thrown out into "the friend zone"? And if he did, would that book suck? Why, oh why, ladies are we so attracted to those bad boys, when we know deep down he is not right for us? OK, this protective Mom, who knows and loves some really nice boys, (who have all gotten the major shaft lately)  is done ranting. Let me throw some questions at you: 

To my fellow members of the IWSG and writers everywhere: When you form characters, do you think about who's going to finish last? Can the nice guy EVER snag the girl? Do you ever fear that if he does, your readers' interest might fade? Who are some of your favorite bad boy characters? What about good, nice boy characters? Does he ever get the girl? 

And now to my A-Zer's:  What about in real life? Why are girls/boys always drawn to the wrong choice? How much heartbreak does one have to endure before they realize it all could have been avoided if the nice guy/girl was chosen?  Did you ever pick the nice guy/girl?  In your life experience, how many times has the bad boy truly been converted from the dark side? 

37 comments:

  1. I was always the nice guy. I did win with an awesome wife though. Think she went through a lot of bad guys to find me, but hey. I still won.

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    1. I had to kiss a lot of frogs too. Now that I'm older I can't believe I was so blind. I wasted so much time with bad boys. Hind sight is 20/20.

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  2. The problem is assertiveness. "Bad Guys" are cocky and most then have to wonder, "Well he must be special is he is so cocky, let me try that". "Nice Guys" tend to be less so. I have always been a nice guy, but confident when it came to ladies so I was never put in the friend zone.

    Also I think a boredom factor may come in to play here. Great post.

    Brandon Ax: Writer's Storm

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    1. This! It's a confidence thing. I've date nice guys with confidence. I would never date a bad boy because they scare me LOL!

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    2. Agreed! I love confidence in a man but definitely not arrogance. That is a fine line to walk.

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  3. I am with one of the nicest guys on the planet and having had several disastrous relationships with bad guys, I will choose nice every time.

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    1. You live and learn. I wish I could save some of my friends the heart ache I went through. But I guess that's also part of growing up.

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  4. I definitely prefer the nice guys! I read something recently that said, "Nice guys don't finish last, boring guys do." I thought it was pretty accurate! (And especially for writing characters!)

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    1. I am feeling especially bad for the nice guys right now. I know too many great guys that are still single, and WAY too many players that are hit and run types blowing through a field of sweet girls. Why do the sweet girls keep being drawn to those tools? It's SO not fair to those nice guys...

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  5. love your bad boy post
    we are definitely infatuated with bad boys! and boys are the same with bad girls - but it's the good ones we fall in love with. i love it when a bad boy shows his inner goodness!
    great b post!

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    1. Thanks Tara!! I'm glad you liked my rant. I mean post. I'm feeling all kinds of protective over some of my nice guy friends right now, who keep getting the shaft. It's so unfair.

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  6. Ooh, I want you to read the book I'm revising right now...I think you'll approve. ;)

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    1. Heck yeah I want to read it girl. Send it over! I'd be thrilled to check it out.

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  7. In 'stories' it's the bad boys who add the zing. In 'real life' they are a perpetual pain in the ass.

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  8. Loved this! I found you as a fellow A to Z blogger and really enjoy your writing!

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    1. Awesome! I'm so glad you found me. Thanks for popping in Lily!!

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  9. I think nice guys can win. And I think some bad boys are misunderstood and are really nice guys deep down. Then there are losers out there that aren't worth the time. Of course, I think we like to escape into fantasy, so it's fun to imagine winning over the bad boy and changing him. Unfortunately it doesn't usually work so well in real life.

    A-Z Challenging at Untethered Realms.

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    1. Hey Cherie!! Do you think a book without bad boys would be boring? Truthfully, I think it may not be a best seller. Which is sad, but painfully honest.

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  10. Ha! I just heard a funny segment on the radio about guys being stuck in the friend-zone. And I read something about the different types of guys women are attracted to had a lot of biology behind it. Beyond all of that, nice guys can finish first, but it's not so easy.

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    1. It's not easy! I know a group of really sweet, nice guys (perfect husband material) who are all single. They all have fun personalities, good jobs and own their own homes. One was blown off recently by a girl who he briefly started dating, but then decided to go back to her ex-boyfriend that cheats, has no job and verbally abuses her. Dropped him like it was hot the second the tool reasserted his interest. I'm convinced he only wanted her back because he saw she was moving on. WHAT is up with that?

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  11. I really don't get the whole 'bad boy' thing. Nice guys are so much better, in books and in real life.

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    1. YAY! You would pick the nice guy in fiction and in real life. Good for you Laura.

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  12. I almost wonder if it's not more of a tension thing. In real life I picked the "good boy" hands down, but in a book that doesn't bring much tension.

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    1. Unfortunately I have to agree. I want the nice guy to win. But the bad boy must exist to somehow steal our attention and mix the tension up.

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  13. I'm one of those bad-boy addicted girls... Or was. I guess I finally saw the light :D But they're attractive, no question. Why? That's tougher to pinpoint. Is it really the savior-complex thing? Or something else? A kind of emotionally suicidal tendency? A penchant for danger, for boundary--and rule--breaking? A rebellious streak? Interesting to think about. And write about :D
    Guilie @ Quiet Laughter

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    1. I had to go through my share of bad boys before I caught on that they were never going to change. I certainly wasn't going to change them, that's for sure. I don't know why, other than stupidity on my part, that convinced me to think otherwise. I guess now that I'm older, I'd love to save my friends from making my stupid mistakes. Unfortunately, you can lead the horse to water...

      Thanks so much for your comments Guilie. I appreciate your honesty and input!!

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  14. This post echos everything I think about the Bad Boy vs Nice Guy struggle. I wrote a similar one a few months ago. It's so true! On paper Bad Boys are sexy and mysterious yada yada. But at the end of the day Nice Guys are the way to go. In real life when I meet a Bad Boy I'm not all "oh, damn. My very own Travis Maddox." I'm more like, tuck and roll, girl. Tuck. And. Roll.

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    1. Tuck and roll, holy crap that's awesome!! Great big Welcome to the Bird's Nest! Thanks so much for your comment and following. Glad we are on the same page with the Bad Boys. Nice to know I'm not the only one thinking these things.

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  15. Nice guys win all the time, it's just not news like 'bad boys' winning :)

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  16. Great questions and food for thought! I . . . well, I won't say what I did to my "nice" guy in my first book, but let's just say that readers weren't happy. So, in that case, the readers were willing and able to pick the nice guy. I just made a mistake - one that I can't really remedy in a way that works. So, I'm moving on - hoping that the next time I write a nice guy, I let him win.

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    1. I think there are circumstances that it can work, and/or dictate both. It's so hard to tell what will resonate with people though.

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  17. I always preferred the nice guys. Yes, I dated a few bad ones (but I usually ditched pretty fast! yeah, you read that post, right?) I had my hubs pegged as a bad boy and avoided him like the plague. I still get grief over all the times I turned him down for dates. It wasn't until I dated a friend of his and allowed him in the friend zone that I realized he was a comic reading dork...they can never be bad, right?

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    1. I dated devils in disguise. I always thought I was picking a nice guy, then they turned into the Hulk. Ha. Thankfully with my hubs, you get exactly what you see. No subterfuge there! And, I have to agree, comic book dorks, can never be bad. Ha.

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  18. I do like a few bad boys (like Damon on Vampire Diaries but I find Stefan broody and annoying) but mostly I'm into nice guys and yes even villains who are honest about their villainy (but I wouldn't be dashing to date that). A guy with no future isn't for me, worse with a bad rep. That screams prison/trouble and I like avoiding both. In my MG my nice guy does suffer but not because he's a nice boy but because he got into a really bad situation. In my other wip Cin (under name Royme), Cin is a pirate (bad guy) but also suffers from the deception while gaining as well. Good or bad, guys can make us melt, ponder or run away. Aw guys.

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    1. Funny you should say that, because I told my husband that Stefan acts like a little b++ch and would drive me to drink. Something about that character annoys the heck out of me! Not sure why but I would choose Damon over him, any day of the week. At least he owns being a bad boy, and doesn't try to be something he's not.

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