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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The "Larg" Intestines

My youngest daughter has fallen into the awful habit of  punishing herself unusually hard for her mistakes. For example, she just took a test on the organs of the human body and received a grade of  98. An A+!  Amazing, right? I thought it was awesome. But guess what? She was DEVASTATED. Do you want to know why? She didn't get a 100. Frankie didn't get a 100 because she forgot the "e" when writing large intestines, so the teacher deducted 2 points. Oh man did that kid punish herself. She cried and wailed and carried on.  It was ridiculous. I told her to stop beating herself up over it, to let it go. This was crazy, she just made a silly mistake. Instead of focusing on all she did right, all she could focus on was her mistake. "How could I be so stupid mom? How could I spell esophagus and pancreas right but mess up on the word large? I've known how to spell large since first grade!!!" She went on and on and on like this...it made me so upset. Why couldn't she just let it go.  One thing I know for sure, that kid will never spell the word large wrong ever again.



This unhealthy behavior my daughter is displaying has been weighing heavily on this mom's heart. What about you? Do you suffer from a case of "larg" intestines? When you make a mistake, do you punish yourself over and over again? Do you take a small error and blow it out of proportion? Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. To me, as long as you learn from your mistakes, there is no reason to be so upset about them. I'd love to hear your thoughts.                      

18 comments:

  1. It's rather silly for schools to punish for small mistakes. It's the hand-writing equivalent of a typo, and it's not English class so should it matter?

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    1. I think she was rushing, trying to get the test done in the allotted time frame. Time management is hard to tackle, even for adults, right? I just wish she wouldn't be so hard on herself. It's the type-A personality. What can you do?

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  2. Yeah, that was rather nit-picky.
    I admit I'm a perfectionist and the stupid mistakes bother me more. But over the years, I've learned to relax about it.

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    1. It makes me sad to see her being so hard on herself. It was just a silly mistake. I wish I could tell her to relax and have her immediately accept my advice. But if I am being honest, I can be supremely hard on myself as well. She has learned this bad behavior, most likely, from me. Which stings. It's so humbling to be a parent.

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  3. I'm turning 65 and still struggling with having a balanced opinion about myself. I tend to see the negative rather than the positive. I feel so bad for your daughter. I think the teacher shouldn't have done that, especially if she knows the child doesn't usually make mistakes like that. It's like a typo.

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    1. Oh my gosh Karen, that is such a great way to look at it. I am going to tell her that she just made a "typo" and see if that doesn't help take the sting out of making the mistake. Of course, like I said to Alex above, I am most likely to blame for this type of behavior she is displaying... since I tend to be extremely hard on myself as well. Sigh. I guess we are all a work in progress, right?

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  4. I feel got your daughter because I was the same way in school. But also I think the teacher should have cut her a break. She got the answer right.

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    1. Hey Ginny!! Thanks so much for commenting. Yes I thought maybe she would deduct maybe one point but not two. My kid knows how to spell large, it was obviously a mistake. But what can you do? No matter what, I am totally proud of my daughter for getting a 98, regardless. She gets a 100 in my book. :)

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  5. My oldest was (is) like that. I'd just remind him that it's not a big deal. He has lightened up quite a bit, but still hates to not do perfectly. He got a B in college. He didn't want anyone to know. He read the wrong book for an assignment and was doubly upset- how could he get the wrong book? How could he lose his 4.0? He was so mad at himself, but he's older, so I could say, "People get cancer Caleb- a B is nothing. Get over it. Go have a beer."

    Now my fourth son...geesh...he is soooo laid back, it frightens me! I told him a C might get him grounded (he totally just didn't do the work and got a 0) and he was like...people get C's all the time. I don't know why you care.

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    1. Oh my gosh Elizabeth, "people get cancer, go get a beer" I laughed so hard. I am constantly reminding my kids about the really important stuff, but it doesn't seem to help my over achievers calm down. My middle daughter is the most laid back. She doesn't seem to sweat the small stuff much. Maybe that's because that little stinker gets straight A's, without studying or trying. It pisses her other two sisters off like crazy too. :)

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  6. I used to be more like your daughter, but as I saw that behavior playing out in my mirror/daughter I began to back off, be messier and *try* to not freak out over my errors (or anyone else's).

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    1. Oh my gosh yeah Johanna! Being a parent is so humbling. I swear every fault I hate about myself, I see in my kids and it drives me nuts. I have to make a conscience effort NOT to do or say anything I wouldn't want them to repeat/do. It is Not easy either!!

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  7. Jay, so good to hear your getting better. Running is amazing (when I do it) It gives me some much needed quiet time, so you think I'd do it every day right? Wrong. I never would have considered running before until my husband started. Then I did the couch to 5K thing and discovered I loved it, too. The key is starting slow. And with your daughter I can relate, big time. I tend to only see the red instead of all the good I did. :)

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    1. Oh how I wish running would turn into something I loved too! Maybe when the snow clears....yeah, nope, not even then. LOL I know I won't do it. I used to kick-box religiously. I LOVED it. But then, I had one too many injuries and had to stop. I still miss it something awful. I wish I could find that right exercise that doesn't bore me to tears and I can physically handle. I'm still searching for it.

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  8. I used to do that, and it is a really unhealthy habit that can be hard to break. Now, when I get really frustrated, I pray, or take a walk, or clean something. I'm not fond of cleaning, but there is something to be said for feeling a sense of accomplishment when a task is done, even if it's just folding a load of laundry. Another good way to break that habit is to list out the good things she did right. In other words, have her write down every thing she got right on the test, and then she can write down the one thing she did wrong and hold those two lists up next to each other. Sometimes that helps too.
    Anyway, hopefully I'm not over giving advice . . . I hope your daughter starts to appreciate her awesomeness soon!

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    1. I love the advice! That's what I was hoping for. I am a work in progress too. I tend to be too hard on myself a lot of the time. Now I see where that's gotten me. Ugh. My poor kid. I never meant for her to imitate my bad habits, but here we are!

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  9. I sympathize with your daughter. I did the same thing to myself when I was in school. Now that I'm older, I'm easier on myself. Most of the time!

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    1. Funny thing is, in school, I wasn't like this. BUT in my writing, oh man. I am so tough. I don't give myself a break at all. Biggest reason I don't have anything published yet. I want to wait until my work is "perfect". Ha! As if it ever will be... but I have no idea where my kid gets this from. LOL

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