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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Embracing Your Uniqueness

A couple of weeks ago,  my daughters and I attended a local, outdoor farmer's/flea market. I wore: a Wolverine t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. This is a pretty typical, normal Saturday afternoon outfit for me to sport. Nothing out of the ordinary, so I didn't think anything of it. The girls and I were having a great time, walking around, checking out all the sights and enjoying the unusually warm Fall weather when  we came upon a booth the girls were interested in. We stopped to check it out. The older woman behind the table hairy eyeballed me and my t-shirt for a long time. I smiled at her. But she didn't smile back. She said in a sarcastic sneer:

Lady: "Did you actually buy that shirt for yourself?"
Jaybird: "Yep!"
Lady: "You are really immature, do you realize that?"
Jaybird: "OK."
Lady to my kids: "You realize your mom is really immature, right?"

The Husband and I have taught my girls to always be respectful to their elders, but when it comes to defending me, I knew that the girls were going to throw respect right out the window. Before the girls told this lady to go pound sand, I pulled them away. I saw no benefit in arguing with ugly. Instead, I chose to use the situation for good and as a teachable "mom-ment".

As we walked away, I turned to my daughters and said, "You know how Mommy loves comic books and superheroes? Well, some people, like that old lady, thinks that makes me immature or even foolish. Should that make me not read comic books anymore or wear my favorite Wolverine t-shirt, because of what other people might think of me?" 

We wound up talking at great lengths about being who God created us to be and not trying to be somebody were not. Overall, as mean spirited as that woman was, I have to thank her for providing a very valuable lesson for me to teach my girls. I am, for sure, nothing like any of the other moms at school.  But that's OK. Trying to fit in and be like everyone else, is not the way I roll. Nope, I embrace my uniqueness and individuality. I like being me. I want my girls to learn that no one should ever pressure them into being something that they are not. And bottom line, sometimes people are just straight up mean. Bullies can by any age. I don't want my girls to ever feel like they must stifle their creativity or their ability to express themselves, to please someone else.

The very next Saturday, we found ourselves at another outdoors function. Guess what I wore? Another one of my Wolverine t-shirts, sneakers and  a pair of jeans.  And guess who we saw? LOL!!!! Yep. Same old lady. Of course, this time, we didn't bother stopping at her booth. My girls and I marched proudly on, heads held high. :)

44 comments:

  1. Good for you!! Being unique is the way to roll for sure!! That's the way I teach my kids. The other day my 13 yr old daughter told me that she was glad she didn't have an ordinary mom and that made me so happy and proud. My 15 yr old son wore his TMNT sock hat to school today and didn't blink an eye. I love my little weirdo's! Rock on Jaybird!!

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    1. Thanks Dani! Leading by example is one of the most powerful statements I think we Moms can make.

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  2. Yes, good for you! That was really rude. I bet that lady doesn't know how to have any fun.

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    1. I am pretty sure she lives a fun-less up-tight life. I felt more sorry for her than anything else.

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  3. Yeah, what Alex said. I bet that woman's a blast at parties. You're a better person than I. I would have given the rhymes with hunt* an earful and pointed out how dull and unimaginative her life must be.

    *That word being 'runt', of course...

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    1. As we walked away, my girls laughed and said, "That lady is SO lucky that Daddy isn't here. He would have ripped her a new one." I cringed at the thought of what would have been in store for that lady had she insulted me like that in front of my husband. Let's just say, the girls would have learned a WHOLE different kind of lesson if he had been there...LOL

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  4. That lady clearly doesn't like customers. Anyway I'm glad I don't have kids so I could tell her to get a life since she clearly didn't have enough to do even behind a booth. You really took the high road Jay, proud of you.

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    1. Ironically, my girls went around telling all of their friends and their mothers how mean that lady was to me. When our friends passed by her booth the following weekend, none of them stopped to give her any business. We live in a VERY small town where word of mouth goes a long way. So, yeah, she clearly had no idea how far reaching her rudeness and the impact of her words would have on her business. Her booth was literally empty the next weekend!

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  5. I can't believe she spoke to your kids like that! We definitely have to enjoy being ourselves and not listen to what sour-faced old biddies think!

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    1. I don't understand mean people. I was always taught if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Clearly, that wasn't the case here. But that's ok. She has to live with her miserable self. I get to be me, and that's a much happier person to be! :)

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  6. I really hate people like that, what business is it of hers what clothes anyone else wears? Glad you were able to rise above it :)

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  7. Good for you, Jaybird. Your girls are lucky to have you!

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    1. I'd like to think so. LOL. I know that I would brain them if they ever were mean to somebody because of what they like to wear, that's for sure. I, for one, won't be responsible for raising narrow-minded kids. Too bad whoever raised that lady did a crap job of it.

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  8. I love that you saw her the next weekend. And way to turn a bad situation into a teachable mom-ment. You posts are a wonderful reminder that I can be me even if other people think I should "act my age" or any number of ridiculous options:) Also, I married a Wolverine fanatic. They're great to be around IMO!

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    1. Ha!@ I knew I wasn't alone in my Wolverine fanaticism. You just made my day with this comment. Thanks so much for the encouragement Robin.

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  9. What a bitch! Seriously! You know what I hate? People who go around proudly stating they "say what's on their mind." It's just an excuse for being mean! WTF? It's none of her business what you're wearing on your shirt and for her to say that in front of your children is inexcusable. Bah. Good for you for taking the high road, but I would have wanted to kick her old arse into next week.

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    1. LOL. Cathy- I love your indignation on my behalf- your reaction is almost identical to my sister's was and for that I absolutely love you. Thank you!!

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  10. I'm sorry, but I actually laughed out loud reading that exchange! Wow. What a miserable old witch. Good for you for teaching your girls to be themselves!

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    1. It is actually comical. Honestly I don't know how some people go through life just hating!! Life is too short to be so limited in scope, if you ask me. And I like to think my girls took away a valuable lesson from that exchange.

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  11. I always thought respecting elders was an outdated concept. Respect is given, until someone causes one to lose it regardless of age.

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    1. You are absolutely right Adam- it is an outdated concept. BUT The Husband and I are quite old-fashioned and my girls are absolutely taught to show respect to those older than them. (Especially their grand-parents.) They are also taught to respond to those older than them with a "yes/no sir or mam" or Mr./ Mrs. when answering. Disrespect is something The Husband and I won't stand for. I realize this is not a concept most people don't subscribe to these days, but it is something that we feel very strongly about.

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  12. I can't believe how rude that woman was!! And to speak to your kids that way? Good for you for finding a lesson in there, and teaching your children to be who they are, not what others think they should be!

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    1. Thanks so much Kyra. My blogging friends and their indignation on my behalf warms my heart!! You all would have my back, that's for sure!! Thank you so much for that. :)

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  13. OMG, that lady was so rude! Go you for not letting her get to you, as well as for turning this into an opportunity to empower your daughters. I completely agree that we should all embrace our uniqueness. Like, I still love dolls and comics, which many would consider juvenile, but I refuse to let anybody shame me out of liking 'em. Life's too short to let that kind of negativity affect us!

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    1. I pity that lady and her limited life. A little Wolverine never hurt anyone!! LOL. Honestly, her life must be sad if that's all she's got to go on about. What a waste. Life is WAY too short to go around being that miserable.

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  14. You are amazing and very brave to stand for who you are and what you like. I must learn from you. And in spite of being absent for so long, I have come to say hi and also to ask you to drop by the cave. You're in my guest of honor list and I would truly be honored if you grant me your presence when I celebrate you all, and the wonderful people you are. Dragon Hugs! :)

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    1. Aw, big Dragon Hugs back!! Thank you so much for your kind words Al. I too, have been missing lately and I will make it to the cave as soon as I possibly can. I've been having some trouble commenting as of late- my computer hates me.

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  15. *high fives* So much awesome in this post. Wearing your Wolverine shirt, embracing your uniqueness and not caring what others say, and teaching your girls some valuable life lessons about self-acceptance, and not arguing back with bullies! You rock!

    I feel sorry for that woman who can't see the awesomeness of being unique and being yourself.

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    1. Thanks Clare!! I appreciate all of the heartfelt support. I think people who try so hard to "fit" into a mold are the most miserable, because they can not possibly be themselves.

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  16. I am now your newest follower!

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    1. Great big welcome to the Bird's Nest JJ!! So good to have you.

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  17. I love these heartfelt posts. I love the example you set for your children. I really love that you are not afraid to be who you really are.

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    1. Thank you so much!! I am just being who God created me to be; why try to be anyone else? I love who I am in Him. My little one made me so happy the other day when she said to me, "I bet when God watches me He laughs at all of my jokes too!" She already owns the funny part of her personality and who God created her to be- and I love that!

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  18. Love how you and your girls handled that situation. Not sure if I could have held my tongue.....lol.

    Hey, if growing up means having to wear 'plain old clothes' consider me immature, anyday! :)

    A few examples of some of my favorite shirts here:

    https://plus.google.com/u/0/117242040716806453518/posts/RNDcQuapT8R

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    1. Thanks Mark. I know for a fact that The Husband would NOT have held his tongue had he been there. But that's his personality to own, not mine. And yep, I'd rather be considered immature than a grumpy old fart any day!! LOL

      PS Nice shirt choices!! Thanks for sharing that link.

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  19. What a bi-atch! Imagine her being your grandma? Bet she's fun to have Thanksgiving dinner with!

    For the record, I have trained my kids to be themselves. I don't want them to be approval seeking cowards...never find any happiness there!

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    1. Yes, I am sure that lady brings misery with her wherever she goes, which is quite sad. And I'd rather have a house full of kids that are leaders than followers!!@

      PS: I was told one of the main reasons my daughter Faith was chosen for the GATE (gifted and talented) program was because of the leadership qualities she displayed in her interview and all of the group activities with the other students! That little fact made me prouder than her GPA did!

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  20. Huh? What a strange thing to pick on someone about! I wonder what her issue is. Perhaps she has a basement dwelling son in his 30's who won't do anything but play video games and read comics?

    So glad you went back, wearing the same type of outfit. How sad would it have been if you put your wolverine shirt away after that? Life is waaaay too short to not do and wear and be what makes us happy!

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    1. LOL! I would become besties with him if she did! If it was her goal to crush my spirit her little plan back fired!! There is no way I was going to put the Wolverine tees aside because of a hater and her miserable comments. Nope, she just solidified my need to wear them that much more often. LOL! I need to let my freak flag fly! Ha. I miss you Kianwi!! Shoot me an e-mail if you get a chance so we can catch up!!

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  21. Hey, I'm tagging you on my blog today! Just so you know. :)

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    1. Hey girl thanks!! I will post on that as soon as I possibly can.

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  22. I cannot believe anyone would say that to someone! Why does anyone care what anyone else does? I think comic book shirts are awesome! I wear disney shirts all the time, and if I could, all I would wear are t-shirts with literature themes on them. Good for you and your girls.

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    1. Hey Ashley!! I hear ya about the Disney shirts. My little one and I have matching Tinkerbell t-shirts. Could you imagine if she saw us sporting those? She would have gone into cardiac hater arrest!! LOL.

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