Yesterday, The Husband and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. I can honestly say that I love and appreciate my husband so much more today than I did on that sunny October afternoon, seventeen years ago, when I pledged my heart to him. Now, you all know I tell it like it is. So, I'm not going to sit here and blow smoke up your butts telling you that every single one of those years were all sunshine, unicorns and rainbows, because that would be a big fat LIE. Marriage, at least to me, is like a roller coaster. It has many twists and turns and ups and downs. The real test is if you can stay in your seat, keep your hands to yourself and finish the ride. There were definitely times when I wanted to smack my husband upside the head for being so stinking obstinate. Then again, there were plenty of times he's wanted to shake the crazy right out of me. Bottom line, we made a commitment to each other. And we intend on sticking it out. Even when things get rough and life isn't easy, we plan on honoring that commitment.
This week, the Husband and I were heart broken to find out two of our very good friends have called it quits. It just shocked and crushed us to find out that these particular couples were throwing in the towel. They don't want to fight for their marriages either. They won't even give counseling a go. We've spoken to each of them individually, but all parties involved seem to be completely done. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying here, neither of these couples had abusive or dysfunctional relationships; I would never condone anyone staying in the case of abuse. That's clearly not the issue here. Both sets of our friends are claiming to just no longer be compatible. :( Which is the saddest excuse to me. Crap, my husband and I have never been compatible! As a matter of fact, we've got to be two of the most incompatible people you'd ever want to meet. But somehow, we've made it through the tough times and made our marriage work.
Maybe I'm being naïve (I've been accused of it many times before) but I feel like our friends are taking the easy way out. It's easier to give up and walk away. It's harder to try and communicate our true feelings, admit our faults, selfish habits, and rude assumptions to one another. I am thoroughly convinced that in both of these cases, all parties involved will be extremely sorry for this quick decision to walk away, without even trying to work things out, later on in life. Whether or not these issues can be resolved, you can bet they will resurface again with a future partner if they are not at least addressed. I'm not a counselor. I won't pretend to have all the answers. But I will ask this, how about commitment? How about making a promise and giving your word that you would love someone in good times and bad, through sickness and health? There is a reason those words are included in most marriage ceremonies.
I'd really like to hear your opinions on this subject. What do you think about marriage? Are you seeing a trend of people giving up on marriage instead of trying to work things out? Do you think it's better to walk away if things aren't working out, or would you think twice before walking away?
- Jersey Shore, United States
- In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.