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In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

IWSG- Letting Go


The Insecure Writer's Support Group meets the first Wednesday of every month. Check it out over at Alex J. Cavanaugh's site, to find out more about this amazing group and what it's all about.

The month of September brings many changes in my life.  And I fear change. It's really hard for me to let go.  I will, of course, e-v-e-n-t-u-a-l-l-y let go, but it takes me a little more time than most to adapt. The same is true in my writing life.

Once I've committed to a plot, it's hard for me to shake it. I've found I'm very resistant to changing it. Even when it's not working. I hold on to my original ideas and dig in my heels and act like a three year old insisting I have my way. It's not pretty.  I know I have to let this childish attitude go. But I don't want to let it go! It's my story!  I want it to stay the saaame! Waaaaa!


Why can't I just let it go? Why do I have to act like a whiny, stinking child?  Help me out here guys, cause I'm digging in my heels even though I realize that I am being completely irrational. I could really use some help. Or a great big push and a  little encouragement, to help me move along...just  like the kid in this video.

What about you? Know you are being sentimental and holding on a little too tight to a piece of your story that really needs to be let go? Who else has a hard time just letting it go?










40 comments:

  1. Um, yeah. Me. *raises hand* I have a hard time having to change my characters when they're not working. I become so attached to them it's unhealthy, so even when I know they need to change (or go away altogether), I struggle big time.

    Maybe just try the change. You can save your other stuff in another folder and go back if you need to, but just try and see what happens. It could end up being much shinier and become your new favorite part of the story, but you won't know unless you try. *hugs*

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    1. Thanks Ilima. I'm glad I'm not alone in the cling on department. I am especially guilty of not changing characters either. Once they are forged in my head, it's painful to get them to change. Kind of like me. LOL

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  2. Instead of letting go, how about just setting it to the side for a while? Then later, when you pick it up again, you might wonder what was the fascination.
    Deep breaths!

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    1. Thanks Alex. I have had it sitting for a while. I know it's not working. Maybe it needs to sit indefinitely. We shall see!

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  3. The suggestions from Ilima and Alex sound sensible and worth trying. But you know, if you really feel strong about something, maybe you should hang onto it. If it's not working for you, consider reworking it until it does, rather than letting it go.

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    1. Hey Cath! It's good to hear from you. Hope all is settled with your move and all.

      I am going to let it sit for a while longer- I am not ready to let it go, just yet.

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  4. Letting go is one of the hardest things we're asked to do as humans. How about trying something new. If you don't like it, you can always go back to original. Good luck!

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    1. Hi Karen- that is wonderful advice, thank you. I will try.

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  5. No hlep/suggestions/life lessons from me. I'm the Queen of Never Letting Go - or maybe that was Hopeless Causes. Besides who says it isn't working?

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    1. Me, of course... I am my worst critic. I am not happy with the first chapter of my WIP and it's driving me nuts. I've written it a hundred different ways and I still dislike it. It's not working and it's making me crazy. I don't want to go on with my revisions, until I fix the beginning. But it's taking me forever to figure out how I want to fix it. UGH. I keep going back and forth between one way and another, but none of them seem right. IDK what I'm going to do to fix it. I guess I need to let it stew a little longer.

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  6. It is hard to let go of a character or plotline that you have invested so much time and energy in. I've had to step back on several occasions and put work aside for a while to give myself chance to consider a new angle. Maybe try writing something totally different and see if that gives you a new prespective.

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    1. Thanks Suzanne. I am kind of in a writer's block with it because I have reworked it a bunch of different ways, but am not satisfied with any. I think, like I said above, I might need some more time to think about it.

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  7. I'm totally resistant to change in life and I would give that kid a run for his money in the temper tantrum department.

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    1. My dad would have given me or my sisters and brother the beat down of our lives, if we pulled that shit in a store. Things sure have changed!

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  8. I have a hard time letting something go. When I do, it's a quick slash before I change my mind.

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    1. I slash stuff out but then I wonder if I should have left it the way it was in the first place! I am SO indecisive it's ridiculous.

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  9. Yes, absolutely, I have a hard time letting things go. Just the other day, I was working on the rewrite of a scene, and there was three lines of dialogue in the original draft that I really had liked, but it just didn't fit with the new scene. It took me a couple of days to be all right with cutting them, but the scene is now better for it.

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    1. It's such a hard thing, to know if what you are cutting out is right. I already talk too much, I am completely guilty of writing in too many details as well. How do you change your info dumping ways, when it's a personality trait as well, LOL?

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  10. It's hard sometimes, especially if it's a book you're really proud of! But having recently finished intensive edits, I'm even more proud of it after rewriting lots of it. It was tough, but had to be done!

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    1. Hey Emma! I really need to toughen up. And get down to business! I have to be less emotional, and more rational about it, but that is easier said than done for a girl like me. :)

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  11. wow that kid, they'll whine to the max to get some candy and a soda

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    1. That kid is off the charts. Seriously, my dad would have beat my ass if I ever acted out like that in public. Dang!

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  12. I like Alex's idea. Change meets facing something new or something old you ran from before. Decide which side you're on and might figure out the fear behind your attitude.

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    1. I have SO much fear/insecurity in my writing it is overwhelming. If I could just be a bit more confident, none of this would be an issue. *Sighs* Guess that's why I am a member of this group. It's hard getting over my insecurities and believing in myself as a writer. One day, I will get there!

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  13. I agree with Alex as well. even if you never come back to it, setting it to the side is a way to ease your mind and let you move on to the next thing.

    Also after watching that video I am so thankful for my kids, lol.

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    1. Oh my gosh Brandon, me too! My girls are NOT perfect, but they know better than to act like that over not getting a $3.00 toy. Dang!!

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  14. Have you considered a second opinion? Maybe the part is good and it's intuition keeping you from cutting it. (But if everyone says it's got to go, well then...)

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    1. No one really said it needs to go, but me. I am my own worst critic. And I hate that I am so insecure, but it is what it is. If I had a bit more confidence, I feel like I would just know what was right to cut and what wasn't. It boils down to inexperience and insecurity. The very unfortunate story of my life! LOL

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  15. I think Alex's advice is good - put it to one side rather than deleting it, then if you think you still need it you can always put it back in.

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    1. Thank you so much Laura!! I appreciate all of the support and advice. :)

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  16. I'm terrible for letting go ... which explains why I'm a terrible hoarder. I still insist that I'll one day re-visit all of my shelved projects. If you believe in something strongly, don't give up on it. Though there's nothing wrong with putting something aside for a while.

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    1. Claaaaare!! You're back. YAY!! Happy dancing. I missed you. Glad to see your comment. And it helps to know I am not alone in not wanting to cut anything out. Maybe, later on I can use it, somewhere else? Who knows? I don't like getting rid of anything, but I do think it's necessary in this case, to help the pacing and flow. But what do I cut? How much? Where? It's endless. And I lament every choice. UGH.

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  17. I once had this problem, but I learned to get into the habit of letting go if things weren't clicking. It definitely makes the writing process easier. We've abandoned entire projects if they just weren't working out. Better than dwelling.

    Also, I just love the name of that video. I think that sums it up perfectly.

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    1. DUDE- I said it before, I'll say it again, my dad would have beat my ass raw if I ever acted like that in a store. There is no way he'd have put up with that shit. OF course, this is the day and age of time outs and talking about our feelings, when all this kid needs one swift kick in the ass and I guarantee he'd never pull that crap again. WOW, never thought I'd defend my dad's ass kicking parenting skillz, but looks like I just did. HA.

      Letting go just never comes easy, to me. I fear change. In life and in writing. But I gotta suck it up and move on. Thanks for the advice!!

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  18. Well, the way I see it, I love a story idea enough to do my utmost to make it the best it can be. Even if it means I have to bend a bit and change something about the story. As long as the core idea remains, anything else is just icing on the cake. :-)

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    1. Thanks Misha!! I love this advice. And I love this group for helping me out of a tough spot.

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  19. It's funny how "Writer Me" is very different from "Real Life Me". I, also, -hate- change....seriously...I abhor it in the real world.

    In writing, though, I'm pretty good at going 'with the flow'. If a plot point isn't working, I can change it, no problem.

    Maybe you should plot more 'loosely' and just look at a 'failed' plot point as just a stepping stone to a better one?

    Either way, I wish you the best and try to keep the tantrums to a minimum :D

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    1. LOL!! Thanks Mark, I will do my best. The Husband is going to think I lost the rest of my dang mind if I keep whining on and on about this stupid first chapter I have been working on FOREVER- but I just don't know what's missing or what's bothering me about it. It needs to be fixed, I'm just not sure how, yet.

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  20. I sometimes have a hard time letting go, too. In fact, I'm dealing with this very thing right now, but instead of a plot changing, it's the format. (I have some novels I know I'll need to convert into comics someday if I ever want them to see the light of day again.) I wish I had advice to give, but this kind of thing usually makes me flail until I relent to the changes, so...I'm not the best person to ask, haha!

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    1. Heather- just knowing that you and I share some of the same hang ups makes me feel a whole lot better. I am SO insecure about my writing. I wish I knew how to make bold, clear decisions about plot, but I think that only comes through experience and time. We will see!

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