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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Monday, August 19, 2013

Unexcused Absence

If I were still in school, I know I'd be in big trouble right now. Because I was absent from my blog, (for two whole weeks) without written permission. Back in high school, we had a Truant Officer named Alphie, who was a legend. He took his job of catching truant  kids- to whole other level.  This dude would show up at your house to make sure you really were sick and/or find out what was your excuse for missing school. If you drove, that did not mean you were safe. He knew all the Junior and Seniors cars. Make, models and years. If your car wasn't parked in the parking lot at school where it should be and you did not have an excused absence, Alphie would come looking for you. And all of a sudden, (no matter how far away from school you happened to be)  he would just show up behind you! Then he'd ride your bumper and flash his lights until you made a U-turn and headed straight back to school.  Sometimes, Alphie would go into stealth mode and hide. This guy knew all of our favorite places to hang out, and where we were most likely to go while ditching. Once, he hid under a blanket at our local beach (for hours) just watching and waiting. When all the kids saw no signs of  Alphie following our cars, we falsely assumed we lost him.  Just when we started to set up our stuff in the sand and waxing our boards, he jumped out and started yelling, "You are all busted! Get back to school!"  Good Old Alphie. I often wonder what ever happened to that guy...

I am very happy, however, there is no Blog Alphie, who comes looking for us truant bloggers. I would be so busted! Although I do have excuses for being absent, and my excuses are all extremely valid, they are still excuses and I feel  bad about ditching. So, my goal this week is to comment and catch up with all of you, to see what I've missed. I'd also like to try to get back to my regular posting schedule of Mon,  (sometimes Wednesday) and Friday, without any excuses. Here's hoping life slows down enough to allow me to follow through with this plan. Fingers crossed!! 

30 comments:

  1. Alphie was a little psychotic!
    No excuse needed. We're just glad you're back.

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    1. I'm not going to lie, he was definitely a little nuts- he took his job to the extreme, for sure.

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  2. I'm in the same boat, Jaybird. I was in Canada last week and feel woefully behind on what's happening in the blogging world.
    Welcome back!

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    1. Oh fun! You went to Canada? How cool is that. I have been just so busy and then I got sick and then I had yet another two birthdays to celebrate over here, it's been cuckoo in the Bird's Nest! I've had no time to write, at all.

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  3. Actually, Alphie has been calling a few of us and wondering where you were, so.... :P

    Glad to see you back!

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    1. LOL! Hey Mark- how are ya? I missed everyone. Really hoping I can catch up with y'all this week and get back on the blogging track.

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  4. Goodness, I had no idea there were actual truant officers like Alphie. If bloggydom had such a thing, we'd all be in trouble. Hope you had a good few weeks. Nice to see you back.

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    1. Hey Karen! Thank you- Nice to be back. And yeah, Alphie was something else. I never cut classes, so he didn't pay much attention to me. But he did go to some really great lengths to bust some of my friends. I'm glad no one holds that job here on the blogosphere for sure!

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  5. Welcome back! We had a guy like Alphie when I was in school, and he chased everyone on his golf cart. Needless to say, he did not have much success (it's really not hard to outrun a fat guy on a golf cart).

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    1. Thanks B. A golf cart? That's funny! Nope, our guy Alphie was in top notch shape and a freaking crazy bastard. He would stop at nothing. There were all kinds of rumors that he used to be former CIA or FBI and got busted for doing stupid stuff so now he got his kicks going after kids. It was SUPER freaky how he knew so much about each and every kid in our school. And he was FAST! No one tried running from him. No one. Resistance was futile. LOL

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  6. Alphie sounds one part awesome one part terrifying! <3

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    1. Hi Mia! Yes, he was nuts. And also a lot of fun to a bunch of bored high school kids to try and get away from. LOL

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  7. Alphie is a real name? I think he had that job as a way of punishing kids because he couldn't punish his parents for the name they tagged him with for life.

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    1. Ha! I'm not even sure if that was his real name. It was just what we all called him-among other things!!

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  8. That's amazing how he was so good at tracking you all down! As for truant bloggers, I've been a bit of one myself this summer!

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    1. It was kind of creepy. I think he followed us way more than what was necessary...but he was good at his job, for sure.

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  9. As a former teacher, I wish we had more Alphie's around! However, since I've been truant on my blog a few times, I'm glad there's not one for bloggers.

    Welcome Back!

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    1. Hey Jenn! Thanks. I'm glad to be back. Seeing the lengths he went too NOW, from a parent's perspective, makes more sense to me. But back then, we all thought he was just plain crazy!!

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  10. We missed you! Also, I have a hard time believing Alphie would ever be after you, Jaybird. You were a good girl, right? :)

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    1. I missed you too!! And, yep, you're 100% right Ilima! I was such a goodie goodie- I never did anything wrong. I only cut once in my whole high school career, on Senior Cut Day. That day, everyone cut. And none of us got in trouble. But the rest of the time, Alphie spent every waking moment, chasing down my friends. He was nuts!

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  11. Alex's comment made me laugh and Har, Har Mark M. very funny trying to freak Jay out. Alphie was something else but my mother was a teacher and worked near my High School so I'd have to be high to ever ditch. Glad you're back Jaybird and can't wait to read your future posts.

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    1. I didn't ditch- only on Senior Cut Day. I had one friend who made it his mission to try and avoid Alphie. He never did manage to give him the slip- Alphie always caught up to him eventually!

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  12. we never had any truant officers at my school

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    1. Really? I thought it was a common thing- but I guess not. One thing that wasn't common was the lengths that Alphie went to bust people. He was SERIOUS about making kids go to school.

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  13. I love Alphie! Actually, I'm pretty sure all schools (most?) are legally required to have a designated truant officer. It's usually the principal. If it's your full-time job, as it must have been for Alphie, why not at least enjoy the adventure?

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    1. Oh yeah- he definitely enjoyed busting kids. He was really creative and super smart. (Not that high school kids are the brightest) but he always found the truant kids, eventually.

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  14. That Alphie guy made me laugh, good way to start the morning. Don't worry about it, Jaybird. I would be busted along with you. I've also been absent for too long. Glad you're back.

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    1. Hey Al- thanks so much! I'm so glad to see you're back and I could give you a little laugh this morning :)

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  15. I think you should write a book about Alphie- I'd read it in a heartbeat.

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  16. He was a great character for sure!!

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