- Jersey Shore, United States
- In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
August-Insecure Writers Support Group
This month, my IWSG post may be a bit convoluted. Please hang in there because somewhere along the rocky way, I'll get to a point that's relevant to IWSG. Don't know about the IWSG? Check out the list and learn all about it over at Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog.
When my sister Emily was dying, there was very little she could eat. Even her favorite foods didn't appeal to her anymore because taking massive amounts of chemo ruined her taste buds and crushed her appetite. Eating, which used to be such a pleasurable experience for her, had become a daily battle and dreaded chore. One afternoon, I was at my sister's house and we were wracking our brains, trying to come up with something, anything, she could eat that wouldn't make her sick, when the door bell rang.
I was surprised to see my friend Lisa standing on my sister's porch. But there she was, like Little Red Riding Hood, holding a basket of goodies. She had just baked a whole batch of homemade biscotti and knowing Emmy was struggling to eat, thought maybe she might like to try some. It was such a sweet thing to do and we were so touched by her thoughtfulness. Of course, I invited her in, but she couldn't stay. Lisa had tons of errands to run and things to do but she wished my sister well and left her basket of cookies with us. I immediately made some tea and put the biscotti (that were still warm) on a plate for my sister.
The fact that Emmy thought they smelled amazing was encouraging and she actually got excited to try one. She took a tiny bite. Then another. And another. Then we waited. She didn't feel sick! Her stomach did not reject it. I know this may sound so trivial but when you haven't held down anything in days, this was a monumental victory. We couldn't believe it. Lisa's homemade biscotti were a hit! I couldn't wait to call her and tell her. I also planned on begging her for the recipe so I could immediately try and bake more for my sister to eat.
But when I called Lisa and told her Emmy loved her biscotti and could I please have the recipe, she wouldn't even hear me out. She said she would give me the recipe, but insisted on providing my sister with all the cookies she might ever want or need from here on out. And that's what she did. Lisa went right back in the kitchen and started baking. And like clock work, she would show up and deliver cookies to my sister's house.
On Monday, I found out my sweet friend Lisa, passed away. It came as quite a shock. I was not even aware she was sick. Turns out, she had cancer too. But decided to keep it a secret- I'm not entirely certain why she didn't want anyone to know. Although I can guess. The woman who gave up so much of her time and attention to those who were suffering, didn't feel comfortable allowing anyone the opportunity to return the favor. That's who she was. Someone who was truly more comfortable giving than receiving, a wonderful example of a what a friend should be, mother to three girls, beloved, supportive wife of a NYC cop. And someone I will never forget.
As I sat here, contemplating what I should write about for the IWSG this month, I really struggled. My thoughts kept returning over and over again to Lisa. Her loving kindness, her generosity and her overall quiet, gentle spirit. She was someone that was so good she seemed surreal. She was like a character an agent or your CPs would tell you, "Hmm, she doesn't seem real, give her a few flaws...." Every once in a while in this life you will encounter a "Lisa". A character with no flaws. One that doesn't fit the mold. Someone who doesn't conform and will stand true to themselves. What do you do in that circumstance? How do you deal with that? Do you write that character as they are? Or do you change them for the sake of the story and throw in a few flaws to make them seem more believable?