About Me

My photo
Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

Total Pageviews

Friday, July 19, 2013

Fragmented

While I was contemplating what to  blog about today I had a difficult time concentrating on one topic. My thoughts, as scattered and fragmented  as my schedule. I thought when summer came I could take the time to slow down, ease into my mornings and keep to a much less frenzied pace. But here we are half-way through July and I'm still spinning my wheels.

First, I thought I should write about our trip to the beach the other day.  It has been so steaming hot I thought the beach could bring the family and I some much needed relief. But I knew the minute we hit the sand and the wind felt like a blow dryer pumping hot air out in our faces and our feet started to burn like two strips of bacon sizzling in a frying pan, that wasn't going to happen. It was every man for themselves as we made a wild, mad dash down to the water. You could practically see the steam come off the soles of our feet when we plunged them into the cool ocean. After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and looked up and saw the kids and The Husband had joined me, doing their own awkward version of the "let's put out the flames consuming the bottom of our feet dance" in the water. Laughing a little at how stupid we look, I paused to look up and down the beach to see if anyone else caught the comedy act and was absolutely shocked. The sand was practically empty! This is July at the Jersey Shore, and our beach was EMPTY.  Once again, just when I thought I had finally put Hurricane Sandy behind  me, I felt her full impact, all over again. And it sucked all the joy out of my beach visit, much like the oppressive heat.

Then I thought, why don't I post about the girls, and all of the things we've been doing that's been keeping me running around and going crazy and not able to sit down and take a breath. Maybe I'd touch on our psycho schedule and my inability to say no that has prevented me from having a coherent thought, but then I decided I've been waxing on and on about the girls and my neurosis a whole lot lately. And I'm starting to sound an awful lot like one of those obsessed moms I used to hate and swore I'd never become but can't help acknowledge their similarities to me...

After that I thought maybe I'd  post about  my trip to the library the other night. Call me a freak but I love every single second of my library visits. From the swish of the doors automatically opening and welcoming  me to the very first whiff of old, stale musty book air, I LOVE the stinking library. As I wander from section to section, perusing the packed shelves, my fingers linger over the spines I recognize. I smile and acknowledge each and every one, like I'm greeting old friends.  All of these books I've read hold treasured memories and I can't help but take a second and acknowledge the precious gift of escape they afforded me. And then, of course, the big question I have been asking myself (for far too long) always pops into my mind. Will one of my books sit on those shelves, just waiting to be picked up? Will my work ever be good enough to provide relief, a respite and a form of escape to someone else when they really need it? Publishing my work started as a whisper, became a wish, a dream and eventually turned into a fervent prayer. Although I have been saying "one day" for so long now I wonder if I am just lying to myself. As busy and as fragmented as I have been these past few weeks, I haven't had a chance to even work on the revisions and edits I've received back from my CPs.

 And here we are.  A post written with no real direction, bouncing along from one topic to another, never really finishing any one thought. Completely fragmented. Just like me.

35 comments:

  1. Such is life. I'm having one of those insane weeks where every second is planned out because I couldn't say no either. A beach trip sounds nice, heat and all. I love the library too. Just like in a bookstore, I want to stop and talk to people and tell them what books they should be reading. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL- when I was on the beach, the one and only other family that was there, had a teenage girl and she was reading Divergent! I couldn't help myself, I had to bud in and start talking about it, right there on the burning hot sand. I'm sure the parents were wondering who this crazy old lady was having an in-depth book discussion with their kid and acting like a huge dork fan girl.

      Delete
  2. You were just blowing around like the hot summer breeze. But you did finish your thoughts.
    Right now, if it involves going outside, count me out. Just too hot and humid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I usually love summer time and enjoy the warm weather, NOT the case this year. Just too humid. I can't enjoy being outside because you can't even breathe! It's been miserable. Maybe I'm just getting old and my disposition is changing...IDK but I haven't wanted to be outdoors at all this year.

      Delete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm having a hard time focusing this summer too. I congratulate you for posting at all - more than I've done. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks Tonja. It's not been easy. And I'm not sure about the quality of my posts, but I tried.

      Delete
  5. Blame the heat. That's what I do! I can't believe we're halfway through July already. The boy will be back in preschool in a month. Yikes and yay! I love visiting the library too. It's one of the few places I can completely relax surrounded by books. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is so hot! It's making everyone a bit testy- people who are normally nice have a bit of an attitude! LOL

      Can't believe summer is half-way through either! Argh. As much as I hate the heat, I don't want the girls to go back to school yet. I like having them home.

      The library has always been a happy place for me. I could get lost for hours. I probably wouldn't ever leave, if they served coffee. LOL

      Delete
  6. Life gets busy sometimes, don't stress it enjoy the summer with your girls. The writing will still be there in a few weeks time. Libraries are great aren't they?

    PS I left you an award over at my blog if you want to collect it sometime :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for thinking of me Suzanne! That is so sweet. And I really appreciate it.

      Delete
  7. I love my library though it's the only place I can comfortable read. Since I lack the time, I don't do a whole lot of reading.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Adam! No time to read? No!! I squeeze in my reading time whenever I can. I swear I've read more books in waiting rooms, early in the morning, late at night. Absolutely anywhere and anytime I can. I don't really watch TV, I'd rather fit in some reading time.

      Delete
  8. I can completely relate to your fragmented thoughts, even though I am nowhere near as busy as you! I can also relate to all the library-love. I always have so much fun visiting mine! Hopefully your schedule will ease up a bit so you can work on your edits and enjoy what's left of summer...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Heather! I just don't have the brain for it. I am seriously not landing on one subject for more than a few minutes at a time. I hate being like this though, I am SO behind.

      Delete
  9. I hear ya, can't believe how fast the summer is slipping away and how little I'm getting done .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah- Barb- I was just thinking about you!! I have been so busy but I will put aside time for you if you have anything ready for me. Not sure where you are in your chapters/work- or if you have had the time, but I am available if you need me. Anything you need, just shoot me an e-mail.

      Delete
  10. We live by the beach, too, but during June/July/August we stay indoors in the a/c...it's just too darn hot and humid out :)

    I'm with you on the library...especially that old musty book smell. Brings back a lot of good memories from high school.

    Have a great weekend, Mrs. Bird :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Mark! Yeah, that smell, I suppose it would gross some people out, but I happen to love it. Then again, I also love the smell of smoky burnouts, (from peeling out tires). It brings me right back to my car racing days!

      Delete
  11. I'd love to come to Jersey Shore. Maybe I should consider it for next year's beach get-away.

    It's totally okay to be an obsessed mom. My kids are now all teens and they are so busy with their lives...I miss the days they scheduled mom for their every fun. So enjoy. And eventually, you will get to writing the books. All this life you're experiencing first hand will be fodder for those stories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure I will miss all of this very soon. Now that Faith is 12, I feel my quality time with her slipping away more and more everyday! :(

      And, oh my gosh Elizabeth if you ever do come to the Jersey Shore, you have to call me! I would LOVE to show you around or at least point you in the right direction of some really great places to eat and lots of fun stuff your boys might like to do!

      It actually makes me so sad, to think of all of my friends and neighbors who own businesses and busted their butts to reopen and now they are going to be forced to close, because there is just no business to be had. It's heart-breaking! The state put out a campaign, called "We're Stronger Than The Storm" but it's too late. Most people have already gone elsewhere to vacation. So sad!

      Delete
  12. It must be the heat, because I'm feeling much the same. Though I did enjoy your fragmented post very much; I liked these little glimpses into your life, and love how eloquently you describe them. Seriously, if your novel is anything like your blog posts, it's going to be brilliant.

    Seconding Elizabeth saying it's okay to be a totally obsessed mom. Your girls are a wonderful credit to you, and you should be very proud of them. And I love hearing about your family! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Clare! And that heat, my gosh, don't know what it's like in England, but it's been oppressive here...Can't really think if you are outdoors. The humidity is disgusting. And exhausting. It takes a toll, for sure.

      And thanks so much for the encouraging words about the girls. I put every last ounce of strength I have into my kids, and sometimes, there just isn't any left over for me! My writing has to take a back seat. But Fall will be here before we know it, and hopefully, we will be back in business.

      Delete
  13. You've roused a long lost memory for me...going to the beach and barely being able to walk on the sand because it was so hot! No ocean for us in Michigan, but we have lots of lakes and Great lakes, so I spent a lot of time at the beach as a kid. Man, that was crazy, running as fast as we could to get to the water!

    I love me library time, too. When I was a nanny, I loved taking the kids there to pick out books. Then I would let them play on the computers while I browsed. Wonderful :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope they were good memories! I miss you Kianwi- it's good to hear from you. I'm sure this summer has been keeping you busy too, just not enough time in the day to fit in everything I want to do!

      Delete
  14. I love going to the library, too. :) It would be a pretty awesome to see your own book up there on a shelf. Hopefully someday!
    And hopefully things will slow down in the fall and be a little less crazy. For now, just enjoy it! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rach! If you didn't read it yet, you have to go over to Ilima's blog and listen to the vlog Cassie Mae did. She tries to pronounce your last name and it's hysterical. She also talks about Secondary Characters and I loved it. So fun!

      And yeah, hopefully I can fit in some writing time soon. I hope to have some stuff to send you real soon.

      Delete
  15. Ah yes, I do love the smell of books. I spend way too much time in libraries and bookstores, picking out books I just don't have enough time to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My TBR pile is up to the ceiling, but the alternative (having nothing to read) is not an option for me. I have to read!

      If the library served coffee, I would never leave. LOL

      Delete
  16. Summer should be known as "Start something and don't finish it season." Summer is crazy! Hang in there, Jen!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep! That's it in a nutshell, lol.

      Delete
  17. I love how you describe your trip to the library - so loving.

    I hope you'll be joining us for the Coffeehouse again this month, jaybird! Here's the link: http://armchairsquid.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-cephalopod-coffeehouse-july-blog.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! I love being part of the Coffeehouse. Count me in.

      Delete
  18. Wow, I got three posts in one! Coolness.

    So sad about the Jersey Shore...

    I'm a big fan of libraries, but I normally don't get to enjoy them. I'm usually helping one of my kids hunt for something for a project of theirs. Plus, our libraries out here are ultra modern and new. I guess that's cool, but I love old libraries the best.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks for the support Jay. And is so heart-breaking to see our beaches so bereft...

    I have the added bonus of my sister working at the library; it adds exponentially to my joy. I get peace, quiet and the opportunity to roam while my kids get to reap the benefits of their Aunt's knowledge and expertise helping them pick out what they need! Golden.

    ReplyDelete