While I was contemplating what to blog about today I had a difficult time concentrating on one topic. My thoughts, as scattered and fragmented as my schedule. I thought when summer came I could take the time to slow down, ease into my mornings and keep to a much less frenzied pace. But here we are half-way through July and I'm still spinning my wheels.
First, I thought I should write about our trip to the beach the other day. It has been so steaming hot I thought the beach could bring the family and I some much needed relief. But I knew the minute we hit the sand and the wind felt like a blow dryer pumping hot air out in our faces and our feet started to burn like two strips of bacon sizzling in a frying pan, that wasn't going to happen. It was every man for themselves as we made a wild, mad dash down to the water. You could practically see the steam come off the soles of our feet when we plunged them into the cool ocean. After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and looked up and saw the kids and The Husband had joined me, doing their own awkward version of the "let's put out the flames consuming the bottom of our feet dance" in the water. Laughing a little at how stupid we look, I paused to look up and down the beach to see if anyone else caught the comedy act and was absolutely shocked. The sand was practically empty! This is July at the Jersey Shore, and our beach was EMPTY. Once again, just when I thought I had finally put Hurricane Sandy behind me, I felt her full impact, all over again. And it sucked all the joy out of my beach visit, much like the oppressive heat.
Then I thought, why don't I post about the girls, and all of the things we've been doing that's been keeping me running around and going crazy and not able to sit down and take a breath. Maybe I'd touch on our psycho schedule and my inability to say no that has prevented me from having a coherent thought, but then I decided I've been waxing on and on about the girls and my neurosis a whole lot lately. And I'm starting to sound an awful lot like one of those obsessed moms I used to hate and swore I'd never become but can't help acknowledge their similarities to me...
After that I thought maybe I'd post about my trip to the library the other night. Call me a freak but I love every single second of my library visits. From the swish of the doors automatically opening and welcoming me to the very first whiff of old, stale musty book air, I LOVE the stinking library. As I wander from section to section, perusing the packed shelves, my fingers linger over the spines I recognize. I smile and acknowledge each and every one, like I'm greeting old friends. All of these books I've read hold treasured memories and I can't help but take a second and acknowledge the precious gift of escape they afforded me. And then, of course, the big question I have been asking myself (for far too long) always pops into my mind. Will one of my books sit on those shelves, just waiting to be picked up? Will my work ever be good enough to provide relief, a respite and a form of escape to someone else when they really need it? Publishing my work started as a whisper, became a wish, a dream and eventually turned into a fervent prayer. Although I have been saying "one day" for so long now I wonder if I am just lying to myself. As busy and as fragmented as I have been these past few weeks, I haven't had a chance to even work on the revisions and edits I've received back from my CPs.
And here we are. A post written with no real direction, bouncing along from one topic to another, never really finishing any one thought. Completely fragmented. Just like me.
- Jersey Shore, United States
- In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.