God love them, a lot of my friends were born into homes where everything they could possibly want, was provided for them. They never experienced what it feels like to want or to go without. They never had to scrimp and save or sweat over purchasing something. One of my friends, has never worked a day in her life. But that's not the life I was born into or anywhere close to the life I live. And some high rollers can't seem to grasp the concept of not having the money to do something.
I'm not trying to demean anyone or put them down, it's just that sometimes, their reality is so different from mine, it's like we come from different planets. Of course, I'd love to be able to provide certain opportunities for my girls that The Husband and I can't. And I'm thrilled that they can do that for themselves and their children. But having a conversation with some of my more affluent friends, is a bit comical. They are just flabbergasted that The Husband I don't go right out and do certain things for our kids. And they want to know why.
"Why don't you take Faith to all of the restaurants she likes so she can order and sample the menus she wants to review?"
"She saves up her money and when she has enough, we take her."
"Why don't you just give her the money?"
"We don't always have it. The restaurants she likes to review cost a lot of money."
"Why don't you go buy Farrah that microscope she wants? And send her to that Marine Biology Camp?"
"The microscope costs close to $1,000. And the camp costs even more."
"Why don't you just take Frankie to New York every day for casting calls?"
"Um, because it costs $50.00 (one way) and takes two hours to take the bus into the City. And then I have to wait around in crowded hallways with psycho stage moms that give me the stank eye. When they finally call my kid into a room, they take literally five seconds to look her over and decide whether or not she's what they are looking for. And then we get to ride the bus two hours home, which costs me another $50.00. If she gets hungry or thirsty during the hours we are waiting, I have to purchase something to eat. (I've tried packing. Most food gets soggy on the bus. And granola bars will only hold you over for so long.) That's easily another $30-40 bucks if I'm being conservative. SO I will be out close to $140 bucks and she may not have even be cast."
"So, what's $150 bucks?"
To me, $150 bucks is a lot of toilets. That's how I think of things since that's what I must scrub to pay for all the little extras my kids want. (How many toilets are we talking about?)
Bottom line, all of the things my kids need, like love, acceptance, food, shelter and clothing, are provided for them. But my girls, (even if I could suddenly afford to) unlike my friends' kids, will NOT be receiving the keys to a brand new car, the day they turn seventeen. The Husband and I will expect our girls to work in some sort of capacity, when they are legally able to, just like we did. Personally, I am of the mind that if you are handed things, without ever having to work for them, you never truly appreciate what you have. Maybe my opinion is in the minority.
What's your perspective? Perhaps you were raised in a home where everything was handed to you. Maybe you were expected to work for things. How do you feel about parents who hand over whatever their kids want, without making them earn it?