|Even the kittens in my care, are destined to be fat.|
In the past, I've taken some interesting and somewhat drastic measures to loose weight. For example, once I only allowed myself to eat meals while sitting in front of a mirror. Nothing kills an appetite faster than watching you feed your fat face. Another time I lost weight by telling The Husband to take a picture of me in my bathing suit. Then I taped that big bitch right to the front of the refrigerator. Every time I came close to opening the frig, I would simply have to turn around and walk away. Unfortunately, all of the scare tactics I have successfully used before, are no longer working their magic.
What's changed? Perhaps it's my age. Maybe it's because I can no longer exercise like I used to and I feel like it's hopeless. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because I've been hanging out with a certain group of friends who are larger than life and don't give a flippin shiz about being fat. They look at me and say, "You call that an ass? That ain't nothing. You be tripping!" When they go out, they hold their heads high, and own it! They honestly feel good about themselves and not only do they feel good but they will flat out tell you, "Damn, I look good today!" Man, I wish I could adapt that attitude and confidence indefinitely, (it's truly unparallelled) but that's not me. And deep down, I know I'm in trouble.
The fatness needs to stop- I have gone way beyond a weight that's healthy for me. After months of doing nothing to curb the fatness, I have no idea how to flip that switch and start doing something about it again! Honestly, you would think I'd be desperate to do something now that my thighs are stuck together and are chafe, chafe, chafing away. But that motivation hasn't magically happened, yet.
Excuses, excuses. Here's where I dump a ton of them on you. At some point or another in my life, I've given just about every diet known to man a go. But I don't do well on any organized diets, like Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. My stint on WW was very short lived. If I had to describe the experience using only two words they would be: Epic Fail. I ate all my points for breakfast and had none for the rest of the day! And don't get me started on all the diets that cut out carbs forever. Seriously? What's the likelihood of successfully inspiring this Italian girl to give up bread and pasta forever and ever? Not bloody likely! So, yeah, I'm not really all gung ho to go sign up for any diet plans.
So, what to do? what to do? Here I sit, on my ginormous bum, stuck in this odd spot, knowing I really need to loose the weight, yet piling on the excuses why I can't and lacking the overall motivation necessary to fight the good fight. I guess the bottom line is despite the ever-increasing size of my ass cheeks, I haven't quite hit rock bottom. Can any of you relate to this feeling of being caught in the middle? Ever feel like just giving up on your battle against fatness? Have you come up with any great excuses, like me? Or maybe, just maybe, you are like my rare and wonderful group of friends who can cruise through life happy, not giving a flying frig about their weight, because no matter what, they know they look good!