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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A-Z Challenge N is for Not Cool.

We are thick in this A-Z Challenge now aren't we? Can't believe I made it this far with no theme. I have to admit to stretching myself a bit thin, trying to keep up writing a new post every day, visiting all my regular followers, answering comments and then trying to visit a bunch of new blogs for the challenge.  But I'm  committed to seeing this through. Today's post might reflect a bit of that s-t-r-e-t-c-h  though :) 

After I had my girls (three in three years) The Husband and I decided it would be best if I resigned from my job in Public Relations. I kept getting knocked up every time I was just about ready to go back anyway. Plus, I had three babies at home and the job required a rep who was willing to travel, work obscene hours, looked presentable and could speak coherently. Obviously, I had to quit.

A few years ago, looking for a little petty cash, I took on a part-time job working for a cleaning company in a popular Jersey Shore resort town.  After all the demanding jobs I've had in my life, I thought this one would be easy. I was so wrong!

Top Ten List Of Things About Jaybird's Job That Are Not Cool.

10. Just because I'm a maid with dark hair and skin, please don't automatically assume I speak Spanish and/or don't understand English. Not cool.
9.  Do not go away on vacation and all of a sudden forget how a toilet works. You must push the handle down in order for it to flush. Leaving me presents in the toilet, is so Not cool.
8. Since you have owned the same time share for ten years and the rules are made up by you, do not try and tell me  "oh my I just forgot" when you were supposed to check out. Not cool.
7.  If you decide to cook out on the grill, fantastic. But don't leave the leftovers on it. Unless you want to star in your own version of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Not cool.
6. Dirty bastards, if you insist on bringing your hard core porn on vacation, please don't forget to take it with you when you go. Not cool.
5. If you come down with a group of friends and get absolutely shit-faced, that's cool. But don't forget how many friends you came with and leave one drunk idiot passed out in the closet. Not cool.
4. If you and your partner are planning on having a marathon love fest all weekend long, awesome! But if you are still going strong on Monday morning when Jaybird walks in, please don't ask her to "jump on in". Not cool.
3. When you have trashed the entire house beyond recognition, do not tell the maid, "Don't worry I'll hook you up doll" and hand her a frigging $5.00 bill in a pathetic attempt to make up for the mess. Not cool.
2.If a police officer shows up at a house you are supposed to be cleaning and says, "Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to stand outside while I mark off the "crime scene" So NOT cool.
1. Do not assume that because Jaybird is a maid, she also happens to be a valet and throw your keys in her face thinking she's going to go park your freaking Bentley for you tool-bag. It's NOT cool. And it's also a really great way to loose your ride :)

48 comments:

  1. Those things are sooo, Not Cool!

    I did housekeeping in a ski town for a couple of years. I could add to the list but this is a family show.

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    1. Yeah, I'll bet you have some great stories too. People never cease to amaze me.

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  2. That was hilarious! I travel A LOT, and I just can't imagine leaving "presents" behind. In fact, I tidy up before I leave.

    Did that crime scene thing really happen?

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    1. Hey Jay- Thank you. I'd like to say the toilet thing was an isolated incident, but it's not. And it's always nasty.

      The crime scene thing DID, in fact, happen. Turns out a girl who stayed was underage, broke up with her boyfriend, then claimed she was taken advantage of by him.

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  3. Did you really find a drunk in the closet?
    It's amazing that when people go on vacation they forget how to act like a civilized human being.

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    1. YEP! At first, I was scared to death because the dude wasn't moving and I thought for sure he was DEAD. But then all of a sudden he rolled over and the smell that came off of him; Lord, it was awful. Although at least I knew he was alive and just totally wasted. His friends thought it would be funny if they just left him there, passed out in the closet. Nice, right?

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  4. Not cool! This is reminiscent of your fact or fiction posts, because I can't believe all these happened to you. Especially 2, 4, and 5. Wow. Also, you are a crack up! :) I want to list my favorites but they all made the cut.

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    1. Yep- every year, at the end of the season, my boss takes all the cleaners out to a really nice dinner so we can celebrate all the tourists leaving, and we all vent about who has the "best" worst story- I win every year! Out of all of us, I'm always the one that gets the craziest people. I swear I'm a crazy magnet.

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  5. Wow...a lot of -very- uncool things there. I always hate when people 'assume' things about a person, just because they are doing a certain kind of work.

    And #4...really? Wow....

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    1. YEP! How do you respond to people like that? I was so pissed. And completely grossed out!!

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  6. Oh come on...#5 is a little bit cool. Poor drunk. Imagine his (her) surprise!

    It totally amazes me that people act as rude as they do. One of my biggest pet peeves are people who dine with children and leave horrible messes all over the floor for the waitress/waiter to clean up. When my kids were little, when they were done, they had to crawl around the floor and do the clean up. (They're small, they fit under the table better!) And when we leave a hotel, I make them strip the sheets, bag the trash, and put all the towels in a stack. Hopefully it teaches them to be considerate human beings who will never throw keys in anyone's face!

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    1. Elizabeth- I was so scared when I found him, I thought he was dead! I couldn't believe anyone was in there because I had cleaned almost the entire house with that dude still in the closet, (vacuumed and everything) he didn't make a sound, I never even realizing he was in there!! Now, I ALWAYS check the entire house to make sure I am alone for sure, before cleaning it!

      And yeah, I try very hard to clean up after myself when I go out, it's just that when people go on vacation, they seem to loose their sense of what's right and wrong.

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  7. Oh, boy, your job sounds a lot more challenging than I could handle. Amazing how self-absorbed and disgusting we can be to each other.

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    1. I don't know what's wrong with people! They go on vacation and loose their minds. But I have to admit for every ten crazies, there are some VERY considerate people who treat us with respect. They make up for the idiots. :)

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  8. Oh my! I would have never thought...but, on the somewhat "good" side, you have some awesome stories to tell.

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    1. Oh my gosh yeah. My friends are always asking me, what happened this week? Who stayed, who did ya meet? One day, I might even make a book out of it.

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  9. I'm sorry you have to go through all that just to make ends meet. I wish people could be more sensitive to the feelings of others.

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    1. You are so sweet. Yes, there are a lot of jerks, but there are some very kind people too. And my boss, bless his heart, tries so hard to make it up to us. He goes above and beyond to defend us and always has our backs. He's really wonderful. It's because of him, and only him, owning this company, that I've stayed doing this for so long!

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  10. I hate it that people aren't capable of acting responsibly sometimes... There is an absolute lack of decency. I can only imagine some of the craziness that you've seen!

    leslyni.blogspot.com

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    1. What I've recorded here is the best/worst of it. I'm not sure what makes people go nuts on vacation. I'm sure they don't act like that in their every day lives. Or maybe I'm wrong, and they are that disgusting all the time.

      Thanks so much for commenting Les! Come back and visit again soon.

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  11. Wow. The crazy and awful things people do. They have no respect. Oh the stories you could write from there, though!

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    1. Hey C- yeah. One day, you might see a collection of short stories from me all about this. Or maybe yet, a horror story. LOL :)

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  12. Wow! Those types of things are definitely not cool, although #5 is kinda funny (as long as you're not the one left behind!).

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    1. Or the one finding the body! I really thought the dude was dead. It super freaked me out. I was actually glad when I realised he was just wasted. His friends never even came back for him! I had to call the kid a cab. :)

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  13. We travel. I am appalled by the stories we hear. I wish someone would throw me keys to a Bentley.

    Not housekeeping related but tied into your #1 on the list, one more "Not Cool" - Living in a predominately Hispanic neighborhood and having all the ads come in Spanish only. They could get my money if they understood diversity.

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    1. Oh My Gosh! That's crazy. No English at all? Wow.

      Ann, oh my gosh, I really wish I had a dollar for how many times people come up and start speaking Spanish to me, I'd be rich. The only Spanish words I know are: enchilada, chiles renos, tappas. LOL.

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  14. This was hilarious! Throwing keys at other people is so not cool though.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi Gina- Thanks so much. Glad I could make you laugh. And yes, throwing the keys at me was so rude and uncalled for! Some people are just Not Cool.

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  15. Oh please tell me ALL these didn't really happen. LOL

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    1. Sorry Jeff, but they did. Most of them occurred in my first season working for the company too. Boy did I get initiated!

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  16. LOL! Jen, you are so funny. I'm sure all of these happened too. People are gross.

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    1. Hi Em- how are you? Hope all is well.

      People are gross. But people on vacation, can be SUPER gross.

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  17. Oh Jaybird, LOL, and Not cool at the same time. I agree with Emily. People are gross. I worked as a hotel housekeeper/maid at a nearby ski area as a teenager and I learned a lot more on that job than my parents realized. Thanks to that job, I got to see the leftovers of hard "partyers" as well as the benefit of having naked guys tell me they needed more towels, pronto. Thankfully, one of the adult maids took a great deal of satisfaction in taking on those guys. I just had to tell her if someone was bugging me, and she would take care of them with a few choice words and glares. Somehow she managed to shame them and not get in trouble for it. There is nothing like being a maid to see how Not Cool people can be.

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    1. That is so sweet that you had someone to go to and who took care of you. I'm really lucky my boss is awesome and he really does his absolute best to stick up for us and take care of all the trashy people. He's just not always at the houses when we are, and sometimes, we have to deal with them on our own.

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  18. That was hysterical, but also horrifying at the same time, thinking you had to deal with all that crap! I can't believe the couple that told you to jump on in! Wow.

    Yeah, I think people act freer when on vacation, so I can imagine you saw some things!!

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    1. Yeah- how freaking nasty is that? I was so grossed out. I think they were trying to embarrass me into leaving so I wouldn't kick them out. TOO bad for them; I'm not into nasty. I wore three pairs of gloves the entire time I cleaned up that hot mess.

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  19. Those things are Not Cool! Funny, but not cool.

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    1. Hi Jenn- oh yeah, I can laugh at them, now in retrospect. At the time of course, for some of these, I wasn't laughing. :)

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  20. I can't believe someone tried number four

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    1. Seriously disgusting! I was SO grossed out Adam. And The Husband was NOT happy when he heard about that, at all.

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  21. Oh gosh, this job sounds like the absolute worst! I can't believe you had to put up with all this... o_O

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    1. Yeah. Not fun. Every time I think that's it, I'm going to quit, I get my paycheck, and I trudge right back to it. The money is just too good and hours are great for someone with kids, I can't seem to give it up!

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  22. Maids have it bad a lot. Makes being a stay at home mom seem way more rewarding.

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    1. That's the whole reason I took this job in the first place; because I quit my job in PR, I wanted a little extra cash to play around with. It was "easy" money and I basically made my own hours and didn't have to worry about the kids. But it's a whole lot harder than I ever expected it to be!

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  23. Number 5 had me laughing out loud, but apart from that it sounds horrendous. I really do think that people with money live on an entirely different planet for most of the year... They'd have a problem asking me to drive their car though, I can't drive but I'd have a darned good go ;-)

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    1. I'll tell you Annalisa, I am always flabbergasted at what planet the "rich" people live on. My gosh, the things they do and special treatment they demand are just ludicris. The place where I work is very high end too, and screens everyone before they can stay. Just to stay a week in some of our houses is WAY beyond the usual budget of most middle to upper class. We attract the "elite". Obviously, the elite, leave a lot to be desired!!

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  24. Sounds like a bad experience! But maybe it's good to hang onto a slice of compassion for the people (mostly women) who do that kind of work every day. I'd hate it!

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    1. Having to do this job has opened my eyes to a whole new level of how Not Cool some people get treated on the day to day. And how some others feel entitled to outrageous things, just because they have money.

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