We are thick in this A-Z Challenge now aren't we? Can't believe I made it this far with no theme. I have to admit to stretching myself a bit thin, trying to keep up writing a new post every day, visiting all my regular followers, answering comments and then trying to visit a bunch of new blogs for the challenge. But I'm committed to seeing this through. Today's post might reflect a bit of that s-t-r-e-t-c-h though :)
After I had my girls (three in three years) The Husband and I decided it would be best if I resigned from my job in Public Relations. I kept getting knocked up every time I was just about ready to go back anyway. Plus, I had three babies at home and the job required a rep who was willing to travel, work obscene hours, looked presentable and could speak coherently. Obviously, I had to quit.
A few years ago, looking for a little petty cash, I took on a part-time job working for a cleaning company in a popular Jersey Shore resort town. After all the demanding jobs I've had in my life, I thought this one would be easy. I was so wrong!
Top Ten List Of Things About Jaybird's Job That Are Not Cool.
10. Just because I'm a maid with dark hair and skin, please don't automatically assume I speak Spanish and/or don't understand English. Not cool.
9. Do not go away on vacation and all of a sudden forget how a toilet works. You must push the handle down in order for it to flush. Leaving me presents in the toilet, is so Not cool.
8. Since you have owned the same time share for ten years and the rules are made up by you, do not try and tell me "oh my I just forgot" when you were supposed to check out. Not cool.
7. If you decide to cook out on the grill, fantastic. But don't leave the leftovers on it. Unless you want to star in your own version of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Not cool.
6. Dirty bastards, if you insist on bringing your hard core porn on vacation, please don't forget to take it with you when you go. Not cool.
5. If you come down with a group of friends and get absolutely shit-faced, that's cool. But don't forget how many friends you came with and leave one drunk idiot passed out in the closet. Not cool.
4. If you and your partner are planning on having a marathon love fest all weekend long, awesome! But if you are still going strong on Monday morning when Jaybird walks in, please don't ask her to "jump on in". Not cool.
3. When you have trashed the entire house beyond recognition, do not tell the maid, "Don't worry I'll hook you up doll" and hand her a frigging $5.00 bill in a pathetic attempt to make up for the mess. Not cool.
2.If a police officer shows up at a house you are supposed to be cleaning and says, "Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to stand outside while I mark off the "crime scene" So NOT cool.
1. Do not assume that because Jaybird is a maid, she also happens to be a valet and throw your keys in her face thinking she's going to go park your freaking Bentley for you tool-bag. It's NOT cool. And it's also a really great way to loose your ride :)
- Jersey Shore, United States
- In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.