About Me

My photo
Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

Total Pageviews

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Romance Week: Episode Three What's Really Sexy

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!! Hope you are all enjoying my little romance mini-series. Today's
topic is What's Really Sexy?

OK, this post will probably contain TMI about Jaybird, but this is the Bird's Nest and y'all should know by now that's how I roll... What's really sexy? What does "romantic" mean to you? When you think about romance do you immediately picture a bottle of  nice wine and an intimate dinner for two by candle light? I used to.  Now, not so much.
Instead of us spending a lot of money to go out to eat tonight, my little Faith offered to re-create this yummo dinner
The Husband and I had at a wedding. Gotta love that kid!!

I'm going to be perfectly honest. Whenever I try to be sexy or romantic, it turns into a fast disaster. For example, when I first got married, I bought this "sexy" Victoria's Secret lacey teddy thing that cost me a fortune. (Still can't believe that little scrap of material that barely covered my who-haas cost so much) Anyway, I really wanted to try to look sexy for my man. In the short while I was waiting for The Husband to come to bed, that stupid expensive lace started to itch. And itch. And itch.  That dumb teddy gave this Bird a rash so freaking bad you would not believe. It felt and looked like I had poison ivy. The itching was insane!! The only thing that helped was covering all of my affected "areas" in an inch thick layer of cortisone cream. How sexy is that?  There have been other incidents over the years, that ended equally disastrous. I'll spare you the details.  My point remains the same, whenever I try to be sexy, no good ever comes of it.  Fifteen years into my marriage and if there is one thing I've learned, there's no need for me to try to be sexy.

If I am covered head to toe in flannel feety pajamas, have a zit the size of Texas on my forehead or am nine months pregnant and ginormous, nothing stops The Husband from coming after me. He will chase me around the house humming the "Benny Hill" theme song until he catches me. I  consider myself a lucky Bird.  I know TheHusband loves me and wants me, no matter how bad a hot mess I am.
This is for all of you too young to know who Benny Hill was, and what I'm talking about.

My husband is a pretty good-looking guy. Especially in his uniform. A lot of women find him  attractive and like to tell me "he's hot". Although I agree, he is handsome, I'll tell you this: he NEVER looks more sexy than when he is washing the dishes. Now, that's hot. Bow chicka wow-wow hot. Because when he helps do the mundane things around the house, it shows me how much loves me, much more than him handing me two dozen roses, a box of chocolate or buying me an expensive dinner out.

So, again,  I have to ask: What's sexy mean to you? What is your definition of romance? And single people, what is your take on what's really sexy?

23 comments:

  1. I'd be lying if I didn't say my wife's ass is sexy no matter what she is wearing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sound like my husband- I can't tell you how many times he's told me he doesn't care what I have on, he always feels the same about me.

      Delete
  2. Your hubby is the man if he chases you around the house, singing the Benny Hill theme...that is awesome!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep-Mark, he most certainly does, all the time!!! He cracks me up.

      Delete
  3. I was expecting to click on that Play button and hear Yakety Sax. I'm sad I didn't. Also, you're right, foreplay just isn't foreplay without some Yakety Sax and a zany chase sped-up around the house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It didn't? Gah. Probably something I did wrong, because it was supposed to play Yakety Sax. That is the tune The Husband sings when he chases me around the house :)

      Delete
  4. My husband had my daughter paint my favorite scene from Remake (she's an amazing artist) on canvas, and I cried when I got it. It was the most thoughtful thing ever. That was pretty romantic, I think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (1) That's awesome, and (2) VERY romantic. Love it!

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Gotta love Benny Hill- that guy was hilarious.

      Delete
  6. I'm with you on this, it is the little, everyday things that are sexy. I once booked into a hotyel late one night and the girl behind the reception desk didn't have any shoes on. She apologised saying it was late and she wasn't expecting anyone checking in. I told her there was n need for an apology. What I didn't tell her was that I thought it was sexy seeing her acting like a real person and taking off her shoes. Great, I sound like a foot fetishist now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tony- I don't think you sound funny, I think that's cute that you liked the girl for being real; especially since so many are full of fake these days!!

      Delete
  7. A man who washes dishes sounds good to me.

    I miss Benny Hill. I used to watch his show as a kid and thought it was so racy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I miss Benny Hill too, he was so funny! And it seems so silly now that his show was considered racy-compared to what is on the tele these days-geez!

      Thanks for commenting Medeia-

      Delete
  8. You made me laugh with your sexy attempts. I think something similar happened to me and I just stopped trying. Your husband sounds like a man who really treasures you. Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my gosh Al I am so laughable. Really no point in me trying to act or be sexy, it NEVER works! Thank God my husband doesn't seem to care, one way or the other. I consider myself very lucky to have snagged myself such a great guy!

      Delete
  9. Wow. That story is funny and awful all at once. :) My husband sounds very similar to yours--as in he is interested in me no matter what. Even on the days that I sport what I refer to as my "Swamp Rat look"

    And he brings me coffee and a bagel every single morning. Helps with the chores. Is always there for me. Someone asked me today what we are doing for Valentines and I admitted that we don't even bother celebrating it because my husband treats me like everyday is Valentines day, not just one day a year. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh man Tamara- it was all kinds of awful. I still don't wear any kind of lace- I had some weird allergic reaction to the material. (Only someone crazy like me would wind up being allergic to expensive lace, instead of milk or something normal, lol)

      Yep, you and your hubs sound like me and mine. Your hubs is a stand up man, definitely a keeper. Funny, one of the young rookies (at work) asked the husband yesterday where we were going out last night and my hubby laughed. V-day is the one night we never go out-lol

      Delete
  10. I definitely prefer relaxed and casual more than fancy. To me, there is nothing better than just hanging out with the person I love.

    For me, sexy is a guy who is really good at what he does, whatever that may be. I remember being head over heels for this guy and going to the hardware store with him while he was getting materials for a building project. I didn't know or care anything about what he was buying, but was just so happy to be with him and watch him interact with other people in his 'element.' (I did say I was head over heels :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and I looooove the Benny Hill theme song while he's chasing you. That is so fun :)

      Delete
    2. K- I have no idea why you are still single. You have to be every guy's type. Honestly, you are one of the sweetest girls I have ever "met". Your story about the hardware store is priceless. I love it. I think you should start interviewing for jobs at the Jersey Shore, cause I kinda have this super smart, really good at his job, ridiculously sweeet, single brother...lol

      Delete
  11. I've never figured out what sexy is, and I'm a romance-phobic... a completely hopeless case, to be honest. You should feel sorry for my Hubby!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me either!! But I bet your husband doesn't mind. I know mine doesn't. I am so anti-sexy, just a complete and total spaz-dork, I do pity my husband. He is the really romantic one- which, thankfully, is enough for the both of us. LOL

      Delete