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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Friday, January 18, 2013

My Top 10 List of Useful Skills I Lack Completely!

Here is a good example of my picture taking curse. I am trying so hard to keep my eyes open, I forgot to smile, LOL

I lack the ability to....

1. Eat one serving.
2. Take a decent picture. (One eye or both are routinely closed. I ruin every family picture. )
3. Tell time on a watch with no numbers.
4. Do more than two real push-ups. Darn you- giant boobs!
5. Make a cheesecake without it cracking.
6. Pump gas. (I'm a Jersey Girl)
7. Yard work of any kind. I think I'm allergic.
8. Shut up.
9. Go to sleep and not wake up fifty times to pee.
10.Tell or write a short story.





20 comments:

  1. I share some of those deficiencies... 1, 2, 4, 7, 9 & 10, in paricular. But my story... because that's how I roll... is going on a trip to Mexico in college. We had 10 girls in a rented van, driving from Oregon... we got into California and I was the ONLY ONE in the damn van who knew how to pump gas (having grown up in Idaho). The first time was fine, but the second time they WOKE ME UP for it. Let me tell you, I taught the lot of them... and not very nicely.

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    1. I don't think I would take too kindly to being woken up to pump gas either! I keep saying I'm going to learn, but the opportunity never arises here, so I never do.

      I see you skipped #5, do you have a secret to making cheesecake without having them crack? I've tried everything. I cover it up with strawberries or some whip cream, but I hate that this always happens. Although, it never stops me from eating them, they always taste delicious. LOL

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  2. Those are great pictures! And as an Oregon girl I don't pump gas either!!

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    1. Johanna- I take the worst pictures ever. I feel so bad for my family because I really do ruin every shot. We had the most picture perfect backdrop while vacationing in Hawaii, but I had to go and ruin every dang picture! It's awful-

      Personally, I'm thrilled to death I don't have to get out of my car, in the freezing cold or rain, with three kids in the car, to schlep around pumping gas. Love it!

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  3. And I just read Hart's comment above and feel like I could have been on that roadtrip :)

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    1. Sounds like it was a good one-Now that I'm all domesticated, (lol) I miss taking those kind of spontaneous road trips with my girlfriends! Hmmm, I might have to plan one of those in my very near future...

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  4. I share all of those except 6 and 10! Now all you need to do is your top 10 bucket list;-) Your blog is toooo cute and funny . . . I'm glad I found you!!

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    1. Aw, thanks. Great big welcome to the Bird's Nest, Jamie.

      I've been working on my bucket list forever. I might have to post that in the near future!

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  5. Your photos are lovely. If you want to see bad photos, you need to see mine - I seem to move, blink, have my hands wafting around... It's awful... I really DO ruin photos. I had to be very careful when I was my sister's bridesmaid last year.

    As for the cheesecake, I have a no-bake recipe... simple!

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    1. Thank you Annalisa- you are too kind. My family yells at me all the time for making what they call "crazy eyes" in every picture. Apparently, because I try so hard to keep my eyes open, I open them way too wide and I wind up looking like a deranged lunatic! Alas, a model, I will never be.

      I have a few no-bake recipes that are really good, but my family prefers I make the old fashioned, Italian-style (fattening as ALL hell, with slices that weigh at least twenty pounds each) cheesecake we all grew up eating, LOL

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  6. haha...yay!! I used to be a Jersey girl as well. I miss the good ole days of not knowing how to pump my own gas. :( Now I'm in SE Ga and I have to pump it every other day. It sucks! BUT at least the weather is warm here, so I don't have to pump gas in the freezing cold.

    And I am also fairly incapable of writing anything short!! Hmmmm...I would never attempt a cheesecake cause I hate to cook. And my boobs will never prevent me from doing push-ups, but my scrawny arms and bad back take care of that!

    And you're very pretty in your pictures!! Even if you didn't smile. :)

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    1. I like to blame the boobs for not being able to do push-ups, but it's much more likely my entire lack of upper body strength and noodle arms- are to blame! LOL

      And, thanks for the compliment on the pictures, even though I wish I'd have smiled and not opened my eyes like saucers!

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  7. You still look gorgeous in the photo. I'm right there with you on 5, 6, 7 and 8.

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    1. Wow, thanks-I appreciate that. 5,6,7, and 8 seem to be the most popular numbers, don't they? LOL

      Thanks for commenting!

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  8. Ha! A great post. Heck, I have a hard time telling time on a clock with numbers. I CAN pump gas, but push-up are hard, although for a much different reason than yours. Never, and I mean never made a cheesecake, but I love yard work.

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    1. Making the cheesecake is the easy part, having it crack on top, right at the end, makes me nuts! Even if it's a tiny crack. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong and that drives me bananas.

      Oh, how I hate yard work! I kill everything I touch, (except weeds) and it seems like such a waste for me to plant anything, when I know it's just gonna die. My kids and The Husband have an awesome vegetable garden they work on every year. But they won't let me near it! LOL

      Push-ups, will always elude me. I've come to the conclusion, more than 2 will just never happen. And I'm ok with that, LOL

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  9. Short stories are easy. It's the long ones that are hardest. Being long winded isn't always a bad thing. ;)

    Also, my mom is worse with pictures. In every single picture ever taken of her, she's always talking. Always. And she's not even a motor mouth, she just has this wonderful way of asking "are you taking the picture or not?" RIGHT as the picture gets taken.

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    1. Every time I start to write a short story, I always wind up turning it into a novel. IDK, maybe I just don't want to part with my characters, once I've dreamed them up.

      Sometimes, I really wish I could put a cork in it. In school, I was always getting in trouble for talking too much. Guess that's why I was voted "most talkative" senior year. I keep meaning to learn to shut up. I really do. Maybe one of these days...

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  10. I have to tell you, you're absolutely gorgeous! Even in those pics where you forgot to smile, you look fab! That colour really suites you. I'm rubbish at taking pictures too, don't worry! And I suck at short stories!

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  11. The trick to that (taking good pictures) is to click lots. One of them will be worth the trouble :-)

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