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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

4th Annual "No Kiss Blogfest" Entry

Hey All! Hope you had a fantastic New Year's. Today I have two blog posts up: My usual, first Wednesday of the month, Insecure Writer's Support Group, and my entry here, to the 4th Annual "No Kiss Blogfest".

Big, huge props to Frankie, from the blogs Frankie Diane Mallis and the First Novel Club, for hosting this awesome blog hop once again. This year, my entry is a  bit lengthy and I apologize for that. It's taken from my current WIP, and I kind of got a little carried away...as we crazy writerly types tend to do from time to time.  Please don't feel obligated to read it all. Although, it would be wicked cool if you did, I wouldn't blame you for  skipping to the last couple of paragraphs. That's where all of the "No Kiss" action (or non-action as it were) takes place.  I hope you like it. *Crosses fingers here* OK, I'm off to read all of your fabulous entries- and commiserate with all my IWSG peeps. -Peace!

     The rain was relentlessly pounding the pavement, almost as hard as my feet, but still I ran. I just had the pleasure of walking in on mother; the boy she was with this time looked younger than me. There is no way I will ever get used to the image of mother snorting and whoring. Rage fueled my feet forward.
 
     The way she looks at me- like I am the one who is twisted, hurts the most. Well, she can go on playing her sick games with her little boy toys. No matter how many times she offers, I won't join in. I won't be like her. I won't. I clamped down the little voice inside my head, whispering that it's too late. I am already every bit as wicked as she is.
 
    My breathe escapes me in short bursts as I push myself past the pain, running faster and harder than I ever have before. I know from experience trying to out run that image in my mind is futile. Still, I'm compelled to try.
 
  The muscles in my calves screech in protest. Someone lays hard on a horn, making me jump. I risk a quick glance back and spy a car full of boys trailing me. I groan when I recognize a familiar parking permit dangling from their rear-view mirror. Crap! They went to my school. Which left zero chance of me not being recognized.

 
  “Dianna! Hey McQueen, slow up!”
 
    I hear them hollering my name, even over the music I have blasting through my ear buds. Ugh. And I can only imagine what I look like. I ran out of the house in next to nothing. My soaking wet cotton tank top is plastered to my over-inflated chest and I could totally feel my shorts riding up my butt with every additional step I take. I dismiss them with a nod and wave. Then, I make a quick dash to the left, intending to cut through the woods and head for the safety and solitude of the park.

 
   The rain quieted immediately beneath the trees, but not my thoughts. Pushing past the pain, past the twisted life my parents and I lead, isn't easy. Being born with a silver spoon in your mouth isn't easy either, especially when your mother insists on keeping that spoon lit. The palatial home I live in, the brand new Mercedes I drive, having the best of everything, right at my finger tips- I know what people think. Living the fabulous life of Dianna McQueen, must be nice, right?
   Who would suspect the ugly secrets lying beneath the beauty of my family? People want to believe the fairy tale. They don't have the desire or will to see beyond it. Because if anyone bothered to look beneath our polished veneer, they would find monstrous human beings driven by such a vicious greed for success, it supersedes any familiar relationships or reason.
   I don't want to stop running, but I am all out of steam. I can push no more. There is a bench a little further up the path, where I know I can stop and rest a minute. But before I can reach it, I run smack into a tree.
   Well, at least I thought it was a tree. Turns out, it was him. I couldn't really think of anyone I'd like to run into less, out here in the woods. What the hell is he doing out here anyway? I thought I was the only idiot who ran in the pouring rain. Guess I was wrong.
   “Where the heck did you come from?” I sputter, when I finally catch my breath.
   “Sorry. I didn't see you.”
   “Obviously.” I don't know why it irritated me so much that he was just about the only male alive who would fail to notice me, running towards him in a soaking wet tank top and booty shorts.
   “The other side of that path.”
   “What?”
   “I came from the other side of that path.”
   “What are you doing out here?”
   “What are you doing out here?”
   “Running. You?”
   “I, I, was reading. But I lost track of time.”
   “Who reads, in the pouring rain, all alone, in the middle of the woods?”
   “I'm just as surprised to see you out here, all alone. I didn't think it was possible”
   That, was a dig. At school, I am never alone. I leave a trail of male groupies/stalkers in my wake, as well as a bunch of underclassman, who hang on my every word and copy every last detail of my outfits. And of course, there are my two beta girls, who always flank my right and left. I didn't ask for that kind of attention, but because of who I am, I naturally receive it. Knowing that, why does this freaking guy pointing it out, get under my skin so much?
   Come to think of it, why does he get to me at all? He's a nobody. No one even knows where he came from. He just sprung up one morning on the pefectly manicured lawn of Shore Hills Prep like a bad mushroom. I called the shots at school. I was in control of everyone and everything around me, including our illustrious Dean. Yet even I couldn't flush out the truth about how one dirt poor Raphael DeLaCruz, came to afford to be there. He's just standing there, staring me down. Dang it! That's my line. I need to pull my crap together. How can I just stand here and allow someone like him, to get the better of me, Dianna “The Ice” McQueen.
    He steps closer.
   “What are you running from Dianna?”
I straighten up, throw my shoulders back and my most condescending mask on.
   “I'm not running from anything.”
   “Anyone ever tell you you're a terrible liar?” My mouth pops open, shocked. He smirks.
   “I'm guessing not. No one tells you anything they don't think you want to hear.” He is right of course, but I'm not about to tell him that. A cold shiver ran up my spine, and I start to shake. Raphael takes off his ugly, beat-down jacket, the one that everyone at school mocks him for wearing, (including me) and closes it around my shoulders. He uses it as leverage, to pull me close.
   “You know nothing about me. Nothing.”
   “That's not entirely true. I know girls like you don't run alone in the pouring rain for no reason. I also happen to know you are the most desperate, most miserable person I have ever met.” As if to soften the blow of his harsh words, he smiles and pulls me closer still. There is not even an inch of space hanging between us anymore. We are chest to chest, and I relish in his embrace and the warmth of his skin. Which takes me by surprise. Even more suprising, is how the smell of his two dollar pine scented soap, comforts me. A lock of damp hair falls down, covering his eyes. He flicks it off his forehead with a shake of his head. Then he  lowers his head back down, slowly, until his forehead, touches mine.
   “Whatever. I'm rich and beautiful and the most popular girl at school. I have everything. I am far from desperate.” My voice trembles though, completely betraying my brave words. Also, it sounds a whole lot less patronizing than I intended, as a whisper.
   “Don't worry. I won't tell. Your secret is safe with me. You can keep fronting with everyone else. Mira, just don't try and spout that crap with me mami, because I can see right through you.”
    I know it's true. But how? How did this freaking kid see right through me, past all I fought so hard to keep hidden? My whole body begins to shake now, from head to toe. Whether it's from the cold or his admission, I'm not sure. The only thing I am sure of, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is if he lets go of that dumb jacket now, I will collapse right to the ground.
    I force myself to look up and meet his eyes. Like everything else with Raph, when I look beyond the basic, what I see is not what I expect. That includes the plain, boring, brown color of his eyes. Because what I see as I stare into them is a reflection of  everything I lack and desperately desire, staring right back at me. And every single one of my objections to kissing him, dissolve in that instant.
 
   Raphael leans down at the same moment I stretch up, our

lips just a breathe away from touching, when I hear the shouts and

sounds of pounding feet. I have a pretty good indication it is the

Shore Prep boys I blew off back by the road. I can't allow the kids

from school to see me vulnerable like this, with him. He knows it

too. Because before I can wiggle my way out of his embrace, he lets

go and slips back into the woods disappearing from my sight.

40 comments:

  1. Well done Jaybird! I want to know more about this new WIP!

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    1. It's something I've been tossing around for a bit. I'll be hitting you up for some help with it in the future. Don't want to scare you off with too many CP projects too soon and have you run for the hills on me! LOL

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  2. Oh, it is so sweet and a little sad, when *he* let her go my heart broke a little bit. No one should feel like they can't be seen with another person, well done this was beautiful!

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  3. Awww! Adorbs and a little sad, just the way i like it.
    Great job!

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    1. Hey Sarah- yep, it's a bit sad and gets kind of dark for a spell. But that's the way I like it too.

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  4. This is fantastic! I always love characters whose lives seem perfect on the outside but are anything but on the inside, which Dianna's seems to fit to a T! The almost-kiss at the end was great, too. Him letting her go instead of her simply pushing him away makes it all the more impactful, IMO! Such a perfect choice for the No Kiss Blogfest. :)

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    1. Thanks a bunch Heather. I really appreciate the positive feed back. :)

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  5. i could feel the heat between them! Great entry!

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  6. Wow, there's such a great build-up of emotion here, and there's that underlying pain from both characters that makes this moment so sad and delicious at the same time.

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    1. Hey Loralie- thanks for commenting and stopping in for this fun blog hop.

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    2. Oh, and I almost forgot in all of my excitement to say thanks for the follow!!!

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  7. Well done, Jaybird! I didn't get the whole "no kiss" thing until I got to the end of your WIP. Now, get him back and KISS that boy!

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    1. Caaaathy! Happy 2013- so good to hear from you and I'm so glad you liked my entry!

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  8. Nice job! And of course I read the whole thing. Don't sell yourself short. :-)

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    1. Aw, you're a doll A.J.! Thanks for reading the whole enchilada! I thought the length of it might turn some people off, but I'm seeing a lot of other long entries, so maybe not! Thanks again for stopping in!

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  9. it definitely does not feel long when reading! And I like the reversal here, of the rich, popular girl, and the on-the-outs boy!

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    1. Wow, thanks a bunch Amalia! I'm so happy you liked my entry. And read it to the end, woo hoo!

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  10. I love the angst you have created for her, and the barriers to the two of them. Great excerpt! :)

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    1. Thanks for the input and positive comments Larissa, they are much appreciated!!

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  11. Fresh, vivid description and storytelling (using his jacket as leverage to pull her close, $2 soap, beta girls flanking her). Pulled me right in and made me want more. Love her voice, too, and Raph's strength of character. Great scene.

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    1. Um, how would you like to be my new best friend? LOL Cause, you just made my day with your comments Tricia!! Thanks so very much.

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  12. Wonderful moment. Love the descriptions and how he pulled her closer with the jacket. Too bad they got interrupted.

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    1. Wow, thanks Aldrea! And, yep, it's too bad they got interrupted.

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  13. Not too long at all--I liked it. :) I love the line about what she sees when she looks into his eyes. great job on this, I wish they hadn't been interrupted!!

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    1. Aw, thanks Tamara. This blogfest is full of inconvenient interruptions, (and cold showers I imagine...LOL) Thanks for commenting.

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  14. That was Greeeaaat! So, CP when do I get the whole thing to read. I'm seriously working on revisions and hope to have the first 4 - 6 chapters to you by the 15th. I really mean it this time. For sure.

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    1. Wow, really? Thanks! I am so happy this didn't bomb, or fall flat. I will be sending you some stuff I'm revising real soon.

      And feel free to send me yours, I am ready/waiting whenever you are!

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  15. Awesome! I wish there was some way to pool all these blogfests into a collective so I don't miss any. Really appreciated your comments recently. Thank you! :)

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    1. You're very welcome David. And I know what you mean about the blogfests, unfortunately I allow entirely too many slip by without participating.

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  16. This is fantastic. You have a solid developing plot, setting, and and character. Thanks for sharing!! The name Raphael makes me think of that angel...I wonder if this might be a clue to his role in the story, if you were to continue with this?

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    1. Whoah- thanks so much for your amazing feedback Cynthia!! And you are very perceptive for catching on to that little tid bit. His name IS a fore-shadowy hint about his true identity.

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  17. Aww, poor Rafael! I love how he used his jacket to pull her close. And all of this with rain??? *swoon*

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    1. Hey Issy! I'm so glad you liked my entry. Thanks for reading the whole thing. And I just love dark, rainy days, sometimes, don't you?

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    2. Those are the best for cold and cozy (and sharing jackets) :)

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  18. That was awesome! Lots of great details and wonderful tension.

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  19. Yum, I love rainy rendezvous! There are some lovely layers through here that make me want more of the story. Nicely done!

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    1. Hi Charity- this is always such a fun blog fest. Thanks for popping in and your kind comments!

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