About Me

My photo
Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

Total Pageviews

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Jersey Shore Devastation

Thanks to everyone who asked about me and my family- Overall, I am thanking and praising God that my family and I  survived Hurricane Sandy. We may have lost things, but all of that can be replaced,  unlike people. 

To keep their spirits up, on the worst Halloween ever, I baked this cake for my kids. Thanks to Sandy, there won't be any trick-or-treating done tonight.  :(

 
Here's what the front of  the Bird's Nest  looks like:
 
Here's what that beotch Sandy did to my back yard:
 
 

 
 
We are very thankful that none of the bigger trees fell on our house. Besides some major yard clean up, replacing and repairing fence and pumping some water out of our basement, we feel very fortunate that this is all the damage we need to deal with. A  lot of our family, friends and neighbors were not so lucky. I have yet to hear from some friends that live on Long Beach Island, in Seaside Park and down near Atlantic City. My thoughts and  prayers are with them and everyone who's lost loved ones in this storm. If you haven't seen some of the heart breaking images of the damage done to the Jersey Shore yet - I'll share a few:
 
What's left of the Seaside Heights Boardwalk                                                                 
Aerial view of the Seaside Pier taken during a search and rescue mission by 1-150 Assault Helicopter Battalion, New Jersey Army National Guard, Oct. 30, 2012. (U.S. Air Force photo by Master Sgt. Mark C. Olsen/Released)

Below is Central Ave. on Long Beach Island.
This is the road I use to get to work. PS: I no longer have a place to work :(
Today on Central Ave. in Ship Bottom, NJ.
Below: This is not a marina. It is the main road in Point Pleasant Beach.

Boats on road in P.P. Beach

We haven't even been able to get anywhere near my sister's house to assess the damage yet, since the road that leads there remains completely underwater. We are hoping and praying her house still stands.

This is not an easy thing to come back from. But we are tough here in Jersey.  And I have no doubt we will all pull together as a community to do what needs to be done. We will survive this.

Wishing everyone who can celebrate it today, a very Happy Halloween!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

100 followers Sweet Give Away Winner

 Hey all- I  was going to post this Monday, but since there is a really huge hurricane a' coming, I decided to post today, just in case. A lot of evacuations are going on down here at the Jersey Shore. Keep your fingers crossed that the Bird's Nest doesn't blow  away!! Thanks.

I really enjoyed reading all of  your entries/ comments about who your favorite superheros are and why. Looks like Batman came out on top.  Superman, Wonder Woman and Wolverine were tied for second place. Then there were the few lone wolf votes like for Spiderman, the entire Justice League of America, Elastigirl and... Loki. (Loki's really a villain, but I allowed it for Ilima, cause she's my home girl and he's her favorite.)
My favorite little Bat and I.
FYI whenever Jaybird rocks a hat, know it was a BAD hair day :)

Of course, you all know if this contest were up to me and  my little mutant x-cat, a/k/a Catastrophic, Wolverine would have to win,  "every time".  

But this isn't about me for once, it's all about you! So, I'm very happy to announce the winner of my 100 followers give away. Drum roll please....and the winner is:   Emily R. King Congratulations Em! Please shoot me an e-mail to fvfbfn@verizon. net with your address. That way I can send you some Superhero Swag, right away!!!



Thanks again to everyone who participated and is crazy enough to continue following me. Love Ya!
 

Friday, October 26, 2012

Please Allow Me to Introduce You to A Brilliant Sci Fi Writer


 
A little while back, I told you my brother Chris was a very shy, but absolutely brilliant Sci Fi writer. I know what you are thinking- he's brilliant and shy?  NO WAY is he really related to Jaybird! I know it's hard to believe, but I swear I'll prove it to you in this post :) 
Looking at him now,  you'd never guess my quiet, bald and extremely fit brother was once a chubby, gingy haired devil. He gave my mom and his teachers a run for their money.  Look closely, I believe you can still see a little spark of  mischief that  lingers in his green eyes.


Jaybird in a pair of horrific overall floods (thanks Mom) standing in front of an equally horrific vehicle, holding hands with her adorable, gingy haired brother. This was taken many, many years ago, while we still lived in Antioch, California.



Whoop- there it is. My favorite pic. I love the good vs. evil disembodied head action.
Below: Chris out shooting with The Husband. After suffering through three older sisters, who were always
dragging the poor boy out shopping, it is nice for him to have a hobby that's a bit more butch. Ha.

 
Chris doesn't have a blog, Facebook or Twitter account, (and most likely never will) so I'm making it my business to promote his work. I believe he is beyond talented and not just because I'm his sister. Please, don't just take my word for it. Read this and  decide for yourself. Below is the pitch he used in the Create Space contest:

Daniel Manoah isn’t good enough. He can’t win. But, his problem has nothing to do with lack of strength or intelligence. Winning isn’t an option because humans cannot be better than the others. It’s a scientific impossibility.

Genetic perfection and continuous access to the sum total of human knowledge through cerebral implants makes it easy for these creatures to dismiss the dwindling number of archaic humans that remain. Nothing angers Daniel more than this fact. Winning their approval won’t be easy. With all the tact of a caveman, Daniel confronts every challenger foolish enough to underestimate him.
Convergence: Sola Hominidae is a memoir told from the nearly omniscient perspective of the main character. Seeing himself through the recorded memories of his adversaries, Daniel recounts the often tragic and strangely humorous events of his life, sparing no embarrassment for the sake of truth. This 107,000 word science-fiction novel was inspired in part by the flawed life of a familiar biblical character, who, despite being culturally distinct from his neighbors, did everything in his power to be near them. His self-hating behavior and inevitable rejection by those from whom he seeks approval ends in violence. Technology creates the cultural rift in Daniel’s time. The early stages of this tension can be felt even now by anyone who encounters the blank stares and inflated self-importance of Smartphone users (myself included). When these technologies converge with unnatural genetic selection, a mindless, homogenized, socially awkward future is assured; and, nature dictates, the survival of only the fittest.

I often wonder how such flawed characters can be lauded as heroes of the faith. I’ve always hated anti-heroes. But aren’t we all flawed? In the end, it’s the damage we cause in our own lives that leads us to admit we’re only human.

For anyone who's interest is piqued, I'm adding a page to this blog that will be dedicated to Chris and his work.  It will also contain the first chapter of  Convergence if you would like to read it. Any and all feedback, as well as any questions/comments you have for Chris, will be passed on to him.  And greatly appreciated by me!! Thanks~Jaybird


I'm laughing b/c in this picture, we were waiting (impatiently) for my cousin's wedding reception to start.
I kept snapping pictures of him and said I wouldn't  stop until Chris made his Zoolander "blue steel" face!
I know he's going to beat my butt for posting all of these pics and that just makes me laugh harder. Ah, siblings.  
 

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Wolverine: A Special Announcement from Hugh Jackman and James Mangold





Um- Holy Crap. I already luuurve this movie!

Awards & Pictures of The Bat Cave

Hey guys. Just wanted to give a quick shout out to Tammy Theriault, for gifting me the Liebster Award and to Clare Dugmore for One Lovely Blog Award. I really do appreciate your confidence in me ladies! Thank you. I am going to do my best to get to them  and answer all the questions in a minute. 
This was, by far, the coolest cave I have ever explored.
Throughout this post, I am going to place pictures of Penn's Cave in Centre Hall, PA. A/K/A The Bat Cave. The fam and I had the opportunity to go there recently and I'm still a bit in awe of it. Hope you enjoy the pictures.

Just a little reminder, there is still time if you'd like to enter in my giveaway- just leave me a comment on my 100 Followers & Celebration post, telling me who your fav superhero is and why,  before this Friday, October 26th. Good luck, and thanks again to everyone who made my numbers soar!!
I was, of course, scared shizless getting into this tiny boat with my extra large self, The Husband and three kids.
So glad I didn't wuss out though, because it was amazeballs down there.


Now for the One Lovely Blog Award, I must tell you seven facts about myself. Lord haaave mercy!I tell you people everything already. You know more about me than my momma. Because I whine  write all  about it here. I struggled with finding seven things I haven't already dumped on you already. I think, you don't know this yet:

They threaten you not to touch ANY of this, under penalty of major fines and more threats.
 (Yet our boat must have hit the sides of the cave a thousand times, LOL.)
1. I really, really wanted to touch those cave walls.
2.The Husband swears I said "I love you" first. And I think NOT. It was totally him.We fight all the time over who, in fact, said it first.
3.When I was in high school I won first place in the Science Fair by writing a science fiction story. Many a science geek who spent weeks slaving over their experiments, wanted to stone me for it. But I was never more proud of myself :) 
4. No matter how many sit ups I do, I've come to the conclusion the only six-pack I'm ever gonna have, is  if I go buy one at the store.
5.I am in dire need of  CPs (or betas) that have a warped sense of humor, can tolerate cussing, inappropriate content, my neurosis and a bunch of spelling and grammatical errors. Interested? Anyone? Bueller? Yep. That's what I thought.
6.In high school, I negotiated a deal with one of my gym teachers. I graded all of his health papers and typed all of his reports, in exchange for me never having to get sweaty, mess up my perfect, huge 80's hair or embarrass myself by attempting to play a sport.
7. When I watched this you-tube video for the first time, I peed a little. I love you Tracey, and I really hope your push up bra helped you get your man back:)


Here are the The Liebster Blog Award rules:
1. Answer the blogger’s eleven questions.
2. Think of eleven questions of your own.
3. Choose eleven worthy bloggers (who have fewer than 200 followers) to interview and pay it forward.

Questions (I must answer)
1. If you could have any animal for a pet, which would it be and why? I would want an elephant. But only if they could shrink it down to cat size, so it could sit on my lap and stuff. Elephants are my favorite. They are super intelligent, protective and overall amazing.
2. Where would you travel to just so you could use it as a location in a story?  Argh! this is a hard one. I'd love to go to so many places. But I'd probably pick Italy. (Like I need more crazy Italians in my life..LOL)
3. Before you start writing, do you have a routine you do?  I must have three things to write properly. My cat, my music, and copious amounts of coffee. Then I'm good to go.
4. If you could interview one person, dead or alive, who would it be? Jesus.
5. If you could design anything, what would it be? My own place to hang out. Like a coffee shop/book/muisic/comic book store. Jaybird's Coffee, Books & Other Cool Shiz.
6. Pretend you won 1 million dollars and you were giving half of it to a charity, which would you pick?  OK, this is incredibly hard. I have so many I am  involved with and love. Probably a tie between the Atlantic City Rescue Mission and Open Door Pregnancy Center. My heart goes out to the homeless, and the pregnant girls with no where to turn.
7. What was you favorite subject in school and why? English. The homework was to read. Catcher in the Rye, Great Gatsby, Brave New  World, Lord of the Flies, Dorian Gray.... Really?  Best. Homework. Ever!!
8. If you had to pick a person that impacted or changed your perspective, who would it be and what was it they did or said? My beautiful friend Comfort. She is from Ghana, Africa. Comfort, has lived through some stuff, and yet, she is the happiest person I have ever met. I  love everything about her. Her smile lights up my life!! I want to be just like her when I grow up. She is made of AWESOME. 
9. Do you have a favorite line from a movie that you tend to use?  Holy crow, so many! Everything from "Your killing me smalls" The Sandlot to. Never give up! Never surrender! From Galaxy Quest, whenever my kids say, "I can't."
10. Remember boardgames? Which were you the best at?  Encore is probably my favorite.  I usually win because I love music and know a crap ton of lyrics to sing.
11. What is your favorite music video...you know, when they use to be popular? :)
Um, I'm so old I remember when MTV first started. They had three videos on rotation. Two of them were Tom Petty. My favorite video from back in the day was Devo. Those crazy hats and costumes were the shiz.

Random bit of awesome: The only other boat we passed in the cave, was full to the brim with  Korean Gospel Singers!
They were singing a rendition of "How Great Thou Art"  that was so beautiful, I burst into tears.
 
I'm gifting the Liebster Blog Award to:
Totally Cheating  Here: Anyone who has less than 200 followers, and wants it!!  
 
My 11 Questions for you are:
1. What is the blog you look forward to reading the most?
2. What do you do to relax?
3. Describe your perfect date.
4. Who is your favorite actor/actress?
5. When you were growing up, did you have any posters, and of who?
6.Best place you ever visited.
7.Worst place you ever visited.
8. Favorite fairy tale.
9.Do you believe in love at first sight?
10.Best concert you've ever been to?
11.Can you cook? What's your best dish?
 
Sorry this post was so long. If you made it this far, thanks for hanging in there. Peace and Blessings!

Monday, October 22, 2012

If I Let You Go, "Letting Go" Blog Hop

 
 
YAY! Today is the fun and fabulous Kyra Lennon's If I Let You Go Blog Hop. Kyra kept the rules  simple- ((1) your entry must be about letting go  and (2) you must try to keep it to a 500 word maximum. I just love blog fests like this, don't you? I can't wait to jump around and read all of the other submissions. I have to go to work so whoever I can't get to right now, I'll catch up with later.
 
Here's my entry:
 
My eyes drifted from the breathtaking horizon and zeroed in on your mouth. I marveled at how smoothly the lies slid from those lips. I allowed myself a moment to recall how good they tasted. Even though I knew the second they started moving, it was over.
 
There really is no one like you. Your long golden hair all wind-blown from your sail. And your eyes, those crystal clear blue eyes. I could get as lost in their depths, as you could in the deep blue sea surrounding us. Despite all of the guys standing on the dock waiting for you, you reached out and pulled me close. Naturally, we started to dance. As you twirled me around, I thought, my God, you were my sun! But I, I was just one of the many planets that revolved around you.
 
 
Oh, how desperate I was to loose myself in this moment. I wanted to close my eyes and breathe you in and not care. I wanted to kiss those salty, beautiful lips and pretend they didn't spew forth falsehoods. I wanted to keep our bodies pressed together and go on dancing with you forever. I never, ever, wanted to let you go. It's killing me knowing what I must do. It will sting when I walk away and for that, I am truly sorry. But unlike me, you'll recover. Another planet quickly moving in, filling up my empty space.
 
Your eyes twinkle with mischief as you twirl me again and suddenly, I'm knocked off my feet. We fall in a tangled heap of limbs and laughter onto the sand. As I catch my breath, you smile and stare into my eyes. Slowly, gently, you brush the hair away from my face. You tighten your grip around me and press your body even closer to mine. When you look at me like that, everything else around us just falls away. For a moment there is only us in the entire universe. Your deep voice is so fierce it comes out sounding more like a growl, when you say, "I love you". And in that moment, I almost believe you. Then I can't help myself from tasting those lips, one last time. Unable to resist the siren sounds of your friends and the sea calling any longer, you jump up and take off down the beach.
  

As I watch you go, I grab a fist full of sand and try to hold on. But it slips through my fingers, like time.



 
 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

100 Followers Celebration and Giveaway

100 Followers! Yay. Happy Dancing! I reached my goal of hitting 100 followers (thank you  Elizabeth!!)  before the end of the month. From my very first follower to my 100th, thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for the overwhelming support and encouragement.  My followers rock!! And in a very lame effort to reward you for putting up with all my typos, bad grammar and overall crazy, as promised I'm doing a  Sweet Giveaway.

Jaybird happy dancing. With Beyonce.  Cause that's how I roll.

For those of you who are interested all you have to do to enter is drop me a comment here, before  Friday, October 26th, telling me who your favorite superhero is and why.  My panel of impartial judges, (The Husband and my girls) will randomly choose a winner. Good  luck.
And THANK YOU all!!!





Friday, October 12, 2012

Celebrate Your Life

Hey Everyone, I'd like to start today's post by reminding you that very soon I'm going to be doing a  100 Followers Giveaway.  I'm super close at ...96! Just think this Wolverine Bobblehead (and some other surprise swag) could be yours.You could place him in a sweet spot on your dash, so he can nod his head along to the tunes as you cruise on down the road, just like he does for Jaybird. So, please, stay tuned. Here's hoping  I hit 100 followers by the end of the month!!  
 
 
Today is one of those days that will always be hard for me to handle. It is my sister Emily's birthday. She would have been turning 43. Normally, I would have started the day by calling her and wishing her a Happy Birthday and finding out what time we were getting together. Because no matter how old you are, we always, always, celebrate birthdays in my Italian family. Cake is a requirement.
We don't mess around when it comes to cake. :)
Emily
 
Me & Em back in the day.
Now, I start the day much differently. I usually bring flowers and cards (from my girls) to the cemetery. I make sure I call my parents and my BIL to see if they are ok. (They will say they are, but I  know their not.) I  take out all of  her pictures and stare at them until my stomach hurts too bad to look anymore. My stomach will keep hurting all day long and at some point, I usually throw up. I'm really not the best at handling my grief. I will decline invitations to go out, even though it's a Friday night. I know I won't make good company. I don't feel like socializing. I will go to bed early, crying myself to sleep.
Me, Adrienne and Em
Sisters, Christmas morning
Holy Hair. Em, me, my bestie Rochelle, Val and my bro Chris in the background
Em &Mike She made such a beautiful bride
Em Mike, Caitlin and Holly 
But tomorrow is a new  day. And I will wake up and wash my face and try to pull it together. I  will remind myself that one day, I will see her again. I will go hug the crap out of my nieces (if they let allow it, their teenagers now so it's fifty/fifty) I will concentrate on placing one foot in front of the other and force myself to go on.
 
I know I've said it before, but I can't really say it enough: celebrate your life! Let the little things go. Don't hold a grudge and never, ever forget to tell the people in your life, you love them. Wishing you all a safe, happy weekend. ~Jaybird

Thursday, October 11, 2012

So I Married An Alpha Male

Don't we just love to devour romance novels chock full of choice, Grade A, all-testosterone- all the time, alpha males? And boy, do we have our favorites. Mr. Darcy,  Rhett,  Rochester, and Valmont. Or maybe your favorite is Jace, Dimitri, Eric, Noah, Drogo, Bones or Edward?
I don't look like a psycho stalker standing next to Robby Pats in this picture at all. LOL
Whoever our favorites may be, one thing is for sure, we will go back again and again to read all about them. They are always so fun and exciting. But have you ever seriously pondered the reality of  being married to an alpha male? One bright, sunny October afternoon, sixteen years ago, I married one.  

Note the giant Shrek hands, covering mine.
Yep, I married the hero in my life story.  My alpha male literally swept me off my feet (wearing a uniform no less). And although I love him with all my heart, the little realities of being married to such a character, doesn't always make it in the books :)

My alpha is brutally honest.  A man that only tells the truth? I know what you are thinking. Amazeballs, right? But he has NO filter. For example, your Auntie comes over with a new (and kinda bad) hair cut. She asks your alpha male, "How does it look?"  So he tells her. Gah! You want to run away and hide.... *True Story*

Here are just a few other examples of  what I deal with on a regular basis:
1. The beloved family pet is commonly referred to as "bait".
2. Camouflage is the new black.
3. Meat must be on the menu. For every meal. Including dessert.
4. Instead of asking you to move out of the way, he simply picks you up and places you where he'd like you to go.
5. Ammo is the only thing coming out of his closet.
6. Utensils are helpful, but never a requirement.
7.Monosyllables reign supreme in any deep conversation. Anything else would be considered an emotional break down.
8.Boots without duck tape holding them together, are considered "fancy".
9. While eating out, he will NEVER sit with his back facing the room. He always has to take up the defensive position.
10. You come home from work only to find two military transport vehicles (parked on YOUR FRONT LAWN) full of hungry men apparently waiting on you, since your Alpha promised them you would come home and cook dinner for everyone! *True story* 

Who are your favorite fictional alpha males? Why? And ladies, how come we love them so much, despite the fact that they can be gigantic pains in the arse!?! What do you love most about them? And guys, how about you? Who are your favorite fictionary heroes? Why? Can anyone name one or more of the books where the characters I listed above appear?

Saturday, October 6, 2012

FFF Answers, Saturday Happy News and Pictures

Big Huge Thanks to everyone who voted yesterday. Especially Alex Cavanaugh, the only male brave enough to keep on reading past my warning, and willing to take a stab at this! You are such a great sport Alex. But only Christine Rains- guessed every single one right! In case any of you didn't know, it was Christine's birthday yesterday. So, Happy Birthday Christine! If anyone missed yesterday's post, you might want to take a look back before you read the answers here. Otherwise, you won't know what the heck I'm talking about in today's post.  LOL

Smithville, New Jersey 
#1. Fact!  DO NOT SNEEZE during a trans-vag ultrasound. These are words to live by ladies. Take my word for it.. Cause, ouch. 

#2. Fact! I can't really think of anything more humiliating than having your ob-gyn call in reinforcements...but that's just routine procedure when you are seen in a teaching hospital. And yes, for reals, the freaking light bulb broke all over me! (Because this is my life, and  crazy shiz like that only really truly happens in movies and to me, LOL) It's times like these, I really wish Sci Fi stuff like "mind sweeps" were real and readily available, so I could thoroughly and completely block that entire visit from my mind forever....

#3. FICTION! (Thank God)  Although I've been seeing the same doctor for years, and he and I have a great relationship, he has NEVER been anything but professional. Not to mention, The Husband has made it his business to escort me to every single one of my appointments, LOL

I'd like to take a minute to thank everyone for all of their well wishes and announce my happy news: The results I really did receive from my doctor this week were very good.. I'm currently Cancer free!! There Has Been Much Happy Dancing And Rejoicing Over Here At The Bird's Nest. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend- I know I will! Whatever you do, please take a moment to celebrate your good health and enjoy your life. Smithville is a place I love to go to with the girls. All of the pictures in this post are from a recent visit :)
Best Mochas in South Jersey, hands down.
 
In the arcade
 
This old time machine reminds me of the movie Big, but it wigs Francesca out. 
Below: Faith's favorite place to get her Chef gadgets

 
Top of the barn
There are always lots of chicks running around. So cute! 
No matter what,  we always have  a good time in Smithville.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Friday Fact or Fiction

Hello All. It's been a long time since I've posted a traditional Friday Fact or Fiction. I may have mentioned a time or two or ten, that I've been caught up in doctor's appointments and other such unpleasantness this month. Those appointments, inspired this week's theme. I wrestled with sharing some of these stories. Ultimately, I decided I wouldn't be me if I didn't attempt to write some of this stuff down. So here it is. But a little warning to all of the men in my blogging life: I love you, but you might want to stop reading now. This post is all about the gyno.

#1. Jaybird is currently considering pressing criminal charges against an ultrasound machine. Recently, while undergoing a trans-vaginal ultrasound, she May or May Not have SNEEZED.  Lord Have Mercy!!

#2. At her last appointment, the ob-gyn's flexible light fixture May or May Not have been  co-operating with Jaybird's doctor. He must have twisted and bent that beotch into a couple of hundred different positions, before he was thoroughly and completely satisfied it was illuminating every last nook and cranny of her business! Jaybird decided she must have a magical vag because her doctor felt the need to call two interns to come inside the already hot, crowded and claustrophobic room to inspect it. There must be unicorns and rainbows up in there, because not only did her doctor encourage his colleagues to take a closer look, but he May or May Not have urged them to take notes. Now all of that twisting and turning of the light fixture in an attempt to take a closer look May or May Not have taken its toll on that lamp. Because it was at this moment the light bulb exploded with a loud "pop" sending sparks and tiny shards of glass raining down all over Jaybird's lady parts and the very last shred of her dignity.

#3. Jaybird May or May Not have received a call from her doctor, who she's been going to for close to  twenty years (and who delivered all three of her kids), to come to his office right away. After a few weeks of  taking never-ending tests, Jaybird thought, oh crap, he must have the results and the news is real bad. Nervous as heck, she went into her doctor's office to face the music. But instead of telling her she was going to die, (like she had imagined) he May or May Not have started to tell her a few things about himself. (1) He recently got divorced (2) He just purchased a Porsche  (3) How would she feel about "taking a ride" with him!?!

There you have it. Three mortifying experiences at the gyno. If any of you are still with me, let me say (1) bravo and (2) please vote on which of these three stories you believe are Fact or Fiction. Anyone brave enough to share your own ob-gyn humiliations?  As always, thank you for participating in my crazy life a/k/a Friday Fact or Fiction. I'll be posting the truth/answers on Saturday :)

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Insecure Writer's Support Group, Episode I



Erm, this is my first installment for the IWSG. Ironically, I was too insecure to add my name to the ole Linky List when I initially started blogging and came across this group. I decided it would be fitting to explain my reluctance to jump in and add my voice to the IWSG as the subject of this post. So here it is: I suffer from some serious insecurities when it comes to sharing my work and didn't think I had anything of value to offer to anyone else.

I get so super nervous when I have to share something, I come seriously close to throwing up every time I enter any blog hops or contests. I'm so full of anxiety my mouth starts watering and my body breaks out in a cold sweat when I just think about entering! I am always second guessing myself. I write, then re-write. I edit and edit, completely convinced everything I've written my entire life is pure crap. And sometimes, sometimes I can get all squirrely just trying to form and drop a coherent comment on someone's blog! Ridiculous, right?

But here's the thing that really blows my mind- if you and I were to meet in a social setting, NEVER in a million years would you guess I suffer from such debilitating insecurity!!  Putting aside the fact that you always hear me, long before you see me, I'm always smiling, laughing and jacking around. I'm extremely friendly and absolutely adore meeting new people. I can (and will) introduce myself and strike up conversations with total strangers, with zero fear or any anxiety, at all.  My friends and family would laugh their butts off if  they knew I'm claiming to be really shy and insecure. But when it comes to writing, it's absolutely the truth! So what gives? What the heck is wrong with me? Why am I so insecure when it comes to my writing?

Writing is my medium. It is the art form in which I chose to express myself.  It is a huge part of who I am. When I write, it's my deepest, darkest, inner most thoughts swirling around inside my soul, thrown outside myself, for all to see. And that's a much tougher thing for me to share than a smile and a laugh.  I'm not entirely certain if  it will ever be easy for me to share my work. I'm really hoping some day, it will be. For now, I'm taking baby steps. One thing at a time. At  least I finally got up enough courage to join the IWSG!

Have any of you ever suffered from the same insecurity about sharing your work? What was the first thing you ever shared? How was your work received? Did how your work get received, change your feelings about what you wrote? (Did that sentence even make any sense? And there you go, I'm doing it again...)