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In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Insecure Writer's Support Group: Perspective

 
This post was written for the December 2012:
 

If you are a writer and haven't joined the IWSG yet, I strongly urge you to go to Alex Cavanaugh's blog  http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com  to check it out.

Perspective: Essentially, isn't that what writing is all about? Allowing someone else to get a sneak peek into your perspective on things.  Because here's the thing: what if nobody likes my perspective? For instance, when I see this:
 
The first thing that comes to my mind is this: REDNECKS. Forgive me but I was raised in the North and that's immediately what I associate that image with.  *Sorry, honestly, I don't want to insult any of my southern followers...That's just an example. BUT my mother-in-law, who was born and raised in the South, thinks of one thing and one thing only when she looks at that very same image:  HOME.
 
So how do you know if you are striking the right or wrong chords with your audience? Will anyone else ever be able to relate to my perspective on things?  Or  am I just kidding myself that readers will connect to my characters and their voice at all?  
 
These past few weeks, I've had my enormous beak shoved deep in edits/revisions of my paranormal romance, Breaking Cardinale Rules...although these lingering thoughts on perspective have been haunting me. And it's kind of left me feeling overall, extremely insecure.
 
What if no one gets my sense of humour?  What if people actually read it but stinking hate it? Will they blast me to the moon and back with scathing reviews?  Will I become a writing pariah?  All of these doubts keep swirling around in my crazy head.... Guess I should really finish editing the darn thing and send it out first, before I worry about all of this stuff, but what can I say, other than, I'm an INSECURE WRITER!!
 
 
PS: Despite all of my misgivings and wild insecurities, I finally had the courage to send my first few chapters out to be critiqued. And for that, I owe the IWSG big time! Because before joining this group, that was just, um, yeah, NOT going to happen in this century.

42 comments:

  1. For every person that hates it or doesn't get it or gives a bad review, there will be more that love it. I hope your CP is a good match for you. Mine is amazing and made all the difference in the world.

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  2. Good luck with your critique! You have to have those CPs. Better to find out now what isn;t working and make the appropriate adjustments.

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    1. Yes- she has helped me A LOT already. It's getting less painful every time. Baby steps, right?

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  3. Good for you for overcoming your fears and getting the pages to critique partners. Just remember, critique partners are not God. Everyone has opinions about things, good or bad. You need to be the ultimate judge on how you feel about your writing. Have you said what you want to say. Have you said it the best you can say it. I know we have to consider our audience, but I personally don't write for an audience. I write what I need to write and hope an audience will relate to it.
    Karen

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    1. Thank you Karen! And yes, it is a hard balance to know whether or not their opinion/likes should supercede your own. But so far, anything she has liked, I also liked, and what she thought I should change, I already knew in my gut I wanted to work on a bit more- I think that makes us a great match, right?

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  4. You will never, ever be able to please everyone with your books. It took me a while to realize this and be okay with it. The most important thing is that you love it. And kudos for sending your stuff out for critiques. It's the only way to learn and improve..and I have a feeling your book is amazeballs any way. :)

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    1. You are my favorite cheerleader Ilima!! :) I guess it all comes down to insecure me always wanting people to like me. But I must learn to disassociate me from my work. Which is a very hard thing to do- with this particular book.

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  5. You are never going to reach every person out there. Write for you. Period. If you write for everyone else, you'll never finish. I have swearing in my novel so I already know I'm going to have people slamming my book over the *for shame* cursing. The people that do understand with love it and those are your most important support group anyways.

    Hope you critique goes great!

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    1. Oh my gosh my book is full of cussing too! Which I know, for sure, will straight up offend all the ladies in my bible study-so I guess I should just leave them off the mailing list, LOL

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  6. I really enjoyed this post; Good message and good blog. Good luck and keep writing! www.valfoxwrites.com/apps/blog

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    1. Oh my gosh, thanks so much for the encouragement and the kinds words Val! You are so sweet and just made my day.

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  7. Well done for overcoming your fears. It's really hard when you've been so close to something without anyone else seeing it. I hope you get good feedback.

    And I love the picture on your banner.
    Debbie

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    1. Hey Debbie- thanks so much! So far, my feedback has been so encouraging and amazing.

      And my banner was done by the magnificent Jaycee DeLorenzo at Sweet & Spicey Designs, who is absolutely amazing. The three little eggs represent each of my three little girls- so I love it too!

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  8. When Losing Beauty was published lots of people LOVED it and some people hated it. Those hate reviews were hard to read, but since then I've come to understand that books are as diverse as people. You don't click with everyone you meet, but you definitely click with some people. And if your book is too nicey-nice blah so that everyone likes it...kinda, sorta, finds it unoffensive, well, then you run the risk of never exciting any true passions in your readers. I'll take option one even if it goes hand in hand with some bad reviews.

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    1. Oh- that's a great point Johanna! I have the most diverse group of friends anyone would ever want to meet. As a matter of fact, most of the friends I have, would never find themselves in the same room with one another, if it weren't for me...LOL And I guess deep down, I want to please everyone! Even though rationally, I know this is an impossible thing to do.

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  9. Your audience is the ones who get it. Don't write for the ones who won't. :) And I live in the South and think rednecks too. LOL!

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    1. Hi Cherie- Oh my gosh that's too funny! I really don't want to offend anyone. (Especially not my MIL. She is a far from the "redneck" stereo type.) Although, she is a Southern girl, through and through. Honestly though, up here, if you see that flag, it's usually because it's flying off the back of a pick up truck that's seen better days. LOL

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  10. Some people won't get it. But you're not writing for them - you're writing for the ones who will get it.
    And I see that flag and I think South Carolina redneck.

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    1. How funny, that you think "redneck" too. My MIL moved to New Jersey when she got married, and has lived here for thirty years since, but never lost her accent/drawl, or her beautiful, warm Southern spirit of hospitality. She's amazing. (And not a redneck, at all!) Still, I can never bring myself to look at that flag the same way she does.

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  11. That's right. Not everybody will get it. But you will find others will love it! I was born in Chicago, and raised in Texas. The flag image reminds me of the south, plain and simple. But everyone's perspective is different, not wrong or right.

    No worries. You'll find your fans. :) Happy IWSG post day!

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    1. Hi Candilynn- Happy IWSG day to you too! And I agree with you, everyone's perspective is different, not right or wrong. And although I used the confederate flag as my example, it has absolutely nothing to do with my book, at all. I just needed an image that instantly makes people think different things. Hopefully, I will be able to connect to an audience with what I did write about.

      Thanks so much for your advice and commenting!

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  12. I can't really add much but to agree with Cherie and Alex - you're looking for the people who get the story you're trying to tell.

    You won't be made a writing pariah, odds are that the worst that might happen would be that you'll be given a long list of weak points you can learn from...

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    1. Hi- I appreciate you taking the time to comment and adding in on what Cherie and Alex have said.

      I have read some really bad reviews, that were just filled with hate, and I guess that will always frighten me. But I guess in life, you will always have your haters, no matter what.

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  13. Are we really writers if we don't have readers? Congratulations for sending out your work. It's all about learning and growing. Good for you!

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    1. Hey Liza- thanks so much. And finally, yes. I can say I had the courage to send out my work. Although I still have a long, long way to go. Because I still want to go vomit whenever I do :)

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  14. Saying hello from IWSG....sometimes people will not get you or what you'd written and that's okay. Once I wrote a short story where the MC was a bit of a jerk, and at my workshop class, I got the sense a couple of people thought I was my character. Not so, and whatever. Just let your characters be themselves, and if some people don't get it, then so be it.

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    1. Ouch. Oh man Cynthia, that stinks! Why is it so hard for people to disassociate you from your characters? Get this- when my mom read one of my drafts, she said, "Who's that supposed to be?" And I had to tell her, just because a character that seems familiar shows up in my book, doesn't mean it's someone we know! Geez- LOL

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  15. Sending stuff out to be critiqued is one of the essential steps. My writing never would have improved if my first time the feedback was "well, that was a complete waste!" Well, I nearly almost certainly quit right then, but I stuck it out, realized what this business is about, and still sticking to it. Some people won't like your work, no matter what. You're not writing for them. Write for yourself first. You'll be surprised how many people think or crave the perspective you have to share. :)

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    1. Oh my gosh if I got that comment I would have shriveled up in a ball and cried. For days!
      But I need to grow a much tougher skin. (Obviously, I am a hot insecure mess..)

      Here's hoping some people will be able to get my sense of humor, and I can connect with them. As for the others, well, maybe they can pass it on to someone who they think might get it. Wouldn't that be nice? :)

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  16. Great job on sending out your chapters. That's a huge step. CP's are invaluable and can help make your work shine!

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    1. Hey Jackie- how are you? Yep. Big giant step taker over here... still kinda want to be sick when I send it though. Trying to suck it up and breathe through it. One day, it will get easier, right?

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  17. Congrats on sending out chapters! That's monumental! Love cps :)

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  18. You and I have the same perspective on the image, though mine go a little sideways as well. I've chattered up with good buds that see it as a source of heritage, history of pride and I respect that perspective. Does it make one right and one wrong? No, not really.

    It's hard to know if certain things we write will be taken the way we'd like to have them taken. Will a joke come across as a joke or as crass? It can be hard to strike the right note, but you've done the awesome thing by sending your work off for critique so you can see what kind of note you're striking. And that's the best thing of all.

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    1. Hi Ang- Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and give me your opinion. I really value the advice. It's still super hard for me to send out my work, but I am doing it, and hopefully, it will continue to be a positive experience.

      I have a VERY diverse group of friends. Like some would NEVER be caught dead in the same room with each other, if it weren't for me. So, I'm used to my sense of humor needing to bridge a large gap. I hope somehow to tap into that, and pray that it will translate well in my book. **Fingers crossed**

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  19. As someone who writes nothing but humor, I know this insecurity all too well. "Will people get our jokes? Will people hate us for them?" But I've learned you just have to go balls to the wall. If you hold back out of insecurity, your writing (and in our case our humor) suffers.

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    1. Thanks B-Great advice. And holy crow, do you boys go balls to the wall!! I think you put enough out there to offend just every group of people. Which is kind of nice, because you don't leave anyone out. LOL And I (as well as your what, 1500 plus followers?) laugh our stinking heads off, every post you write. You are hilarious!

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  20. Congrats on sending out your first few chapters! The first step is always the hardest. Then you can just build on that. It's funny, the first thing I think of when I see the confederate flag is Dukes of Hazzard.

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    1. HA! That's what The Husband thinks of too. Well, maybe just Daisy Duke. LOL

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  21. Being brave enough to send out some of your work for critique is awesome. It is scary but the pay-off is brilliant :)

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    1. It will be worth it in the end. (No matter how much of a scaredy cat I am) Thanks Suzanne!

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