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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Do You Believe?

 
My 8 year old daughter Frankie still believes in Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, elves, pixies, mermaids...and well, you get the idea. And personally, I'm absolutely thrilled that she still does. Although, this week, I was judged harshly accused of encouraging those beliefs much longer than I should. So, I have to ask, what's wrong with that?

Am I SO evil for taking her fairy hunting in the backyard? Or leaving half-eaten carrots and reindeer tracks outside in the snow? What's so wrong about encouraging her awesome imagination?  Because once that wonder is lost, there is no going back!

My little reindeer. xo
 
My other two kids, were not like Frankie, at all. They were both born old ladies. With my daughter Farrah, the very first time I read  'Twas The Night Before Christmas" to her, I was all excited, waiting for her to hit me with all of the usual Santa Claus questions, like every other kid. But I should have known better, because Farrah is not like every other kid. My then four year old child silently stared me down. She followed her moment of silence with a raised eyebrow and a pursing of her little lips (her go to expression) and said:  
Here's Farrah, dressed as "Velma" from Scooby Doo, one Halloween. The perfect costume for my little Miss Smarty Pants.
 
"Mom, you don't really expect me to believe that, do you? It's a statistical as well as physical improbability that one person could visit every child in the entire world, in the course of one night."
"Farrah, this isn't about science, it's magic."
"Gimme a break!"

And that, my friends, was that. Subject closed. Until my little Frankie was born. From the first time I read the words, "Once upon a time" and she looked up at me big brown eyes full of wonder and awe, I  knew she was going to be different. I knew she would believe. (She would also, never beg me to wake up at 3:00 am with her, just  so we could go outside and freeze our buns off to watch the Geminid meteor shower, like her sister Farrah did this morning!)  Now, a few key people in my life  ganged up on me think this is just terrible. They think I'm terrible! They accused me of  fueling Frankie's beliefs, in an attempt to drag her childhood out as long as possible.

Um, yes. Yes I am. Guilty. But again, I have to ask, so what? Why be in a rush to make kids grow up? She's only eight. Why must I dispel the magic of Christmas? Why not let her be a kid for as long as she can? Honestly, why am I so wrong?  I have to ask this morning, what do you believe?  Anyone else get dragged outside at 3:00 a.m. to see a meteor shower? (Thank you God, for coffee!)
Faith, Frankie & Farrah-throwing the camera her "go to" expression. 

25 comments:

  1. You are an awesome mother for the reindeer tracks and the fairy hunting and letting her imagine, but also knowing that all your daughters are different. I think it's great that you fuel her imagination. My then 8 year-old realized about Santa last year, but he told me he's decided it's more fun to believe, and so he is, and dragging his sisters into all the wonderful imaginings and asking all kinds of questions I'm scrambling to answer. The newest "briliance" Santa buys the teeth from the tooth fairies and turns them into toys. So every Christmas we get our teeth back (our daughter lost 8 teeth this year)
    Also, astounded by (then) 4 year-old Farrah. Wow.

    Other moms-back off. You mother your own kids, leave ours to us.

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    1. Thanks Robin! Moms can be tough sometimes. Every one of them is convinced that they are right. And that's fine. But I have my own way of doing things. I don't accuse them of being wrong, just different.

      The teeth tradition is really cool! My two older girls have encouraged their little sister in her beliefs, almost as much as me. They love and indulge her innocence too. For now, that's enough for me.

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  2. I have started to type a response to this post about six times - such was my irritation LOL!

    Let your little girl hang onto the magic for as long as you can, Jaybird! Let her enjoy it, let her believe and encourage it while you can. Children should not be rushed into knowing the truth because their damn childhoods are short enough! So, leave those cookies out for Santa, and keep up with the fairy hunting. Like you said, once the wonder is gone, it isn't coming back!

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    1. LOL, Oh how I love you Kyra! Thanks for the support. You are the best. xo

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  3. I don't think that's terrible at all. None of my kids believe but I don't actually support the whole santa thing. Not that I don't encourage others to; my kids were more like your Farrah. They all turned out to be realists. Even my 3 year old.
    But I still like to make them believe that magic exists, even in the smallest of form.
    So you go on supporting what your daughters want to do. That's the whole point of being a great parent anyways. Right? I got your back!

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    1. Thanks Dani! I have to admit, having a little scientist tell me what's what, threw this dreamer for a loop. I relate to Frankie's nature easier, since we are a lot a like, but I do everything in my power to support the other two. (Like going out in the freezing am just to watch a yellow smear in the sky because it's that important to her.) LOL

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  4. My 9 year old just found out, and though he was a little disappointed at first, my husband explained to him how Santa is a type of Christ and all the ways it helps us think of Jesus. Then he got really excited about it. I don't think it's wrong for you to let your child believe, and I don't think eight is too old, either. I do know of someone who didn't know Santa wasn't real until she left home after high school. Please don't wait that long, Jaybird. :)

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    1. Oh, that's so sweet Ilima! I love your husband's explanation.

      I guess, deep down, I'm a little hurt, because of how hard certain people came at me about this. Deep down, I know Frankie won't believe that much longer. Who knows, we may just have this year left... (We definitely won't make it after high school-that's for sure! LOL) My baby is growing up regardless. I'm not going to push it along faster just because someone else thinks she needs to!

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  5. I'd encourage that imagination any way I could.
    Karen

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  6. Keep encouraging her! When else can you believe in magic except when you're a child?

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  7. Soon she'll be all grown up and doubt everything. Let her believe as long as possible! People are too concerned about robbing innocence to teach children "reality." Well, reality bites a lot of the time. Let them enjoy being young!

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    1. I know, right? Why push her? I doesn't make any sense! And reality does bite, most of the time LOL

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  8. I am so with you on this! You have no idea. My eight-year-old daughter is totally a believer, too. :) (My six-year-old son is more of a sceptic, I have a feeling he'll 'figure it out' before she does.) My daughter is considered 'young' in a lot of ways. In that she still likes youngish things, isn't in love with Justin Bieber. etc. (But she's bright as all heck.) I love that she's still a kid. Like you said, they're eight! They should be allowed to be kids!

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    1. Our daughters would be good friends too Rach- b/c Frankie thinks Bieber is a wiener! LOL I'm glad she still thinks boys have the cooties and Santa is real. I'm content to let her be, just as she is. Let her relish these beliefs as long as she can! Poo on everybody who thinks I should make her grow up already. She's eight. And they suck.

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  9. I kept my kids little as long as I could. I raised them all to believe in magic. My oldest two are now compassionate, loving, normal adults. haha. My younger two are fourteen and sixteen and AWESOME. Nice kids with great imaginations. My sixteen year old is writing a book with me. So, in my personal opinion, keep the magic alive as long as you can. They'll get to be adults for sixty...seventy years. Kids for ten. Why not make the ten as full of imagination and promise as possible?

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    1. Hi Tamara- It's good to know I'm not the only mom out there who still believes in letting kids be kids for crying out loud!

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  10. I believed (and still do) in faeries and all sorts when I was a kid, and I was teased mercilessly for it. But sometimes it's nice to believe there's more out there. Kids grow up so fast these days, that it's natural to want to keep them believing in magic and Santa for that little bit longer. They've got their whole lives to deal with the realities of the world. I think it's great that you nurture that belief in magic in Frankie. But likewise, I also think it's fantastic that Farrah didn't fall for it, and instead pointed out "It's a statistical as well as physical improbability that one person could visit every child in the entire world, in the course of one night." - I also think it's very awesome you got up with her at 3am to watch the meteor shower. You're such the coolest mum.

    Thanks for the post on my blog. It's nice to have friends check up to see if you're okay when you've been absent for a while. With Christmas approaching, sickness and various family dramas, I haven't been around much. Hopefully things will settle down after Christmas, and I can get back into the swing of things.

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    1. Claaaaare! Oh my gosh, girl, how I've missed you! Glad you are alright- I wish you and your family well. I know the holidays are very busy. But, dang it's good to see your comment!

      I always loved chasing fairies and mermaids as a kid. Still do too! Just as much as Frankie does, if not more. Reality bites! That's one of the reasons why I love to read and write fantasy so much, to escape it. If I can spare her a little longer from all things grown up, I will.

      And my Farrah-girl, Lord have mercy! That kid just kills me. I swear she was born a hundred years old! The Husband and I realized early on, Farrah was already smarter than most of the adult population surrounding her. (Including her mother and father. LOL)

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  11. I have an 8 year old and I think he still believes - he's written a very long letter to Santa. He figured the tooth fairy out a while back. His elder brother believed at the same age, and maybe a bit longer (in fact I wondered if we'd have to tell him the truth). I think it's magical that kids are still aloud to believe. And anyway, who exactly are NASA tracking on Christmas Eve if it ISN'T Santa???

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  12. You mean Santa is not real?! Just kidding! I think it's great to let kids be kids and believe in such things as fairies, mermaids, and Santa Claus.

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  13. In a world where children seem to lose their innocence and sense of wonder at younger and younger ages, I think it's fantastic that you're still fueling her beliefs. A child of eight is definitely not too young to still believe in magic, so why steal that from her earlier than necessary?

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  14. Oh, boy. I think even after I stopped believing in Santa Claus and imaginary friends... I still believed. And I grew up to be a healthy, productive member of society (with a liiiiiitle glitter obsession.) And there's still this amazing sense of magic and wonder when you see something out of the corner of your eye and think.. what if? I'm sad that there are a lot of people out there who don't have that magic and wonder in their lives.

    I say, let your baby girl have as much wonder and magic in her life as she can!

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  15. You go girl! I'm so glad that not one comment was in anything but complete agreement with you. Keep those kids believing, sometimes it's all we got.

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