What can I say this week, other than #1-4 are all FACT! Let me elaborate.
#1. Well, I don't think I need to elaborate on this one.... I already said way too much.
#2. Yes, I got into a fight on the floor of the Barnes & Noble. But it wasn't my fault! This is what happened:
The Husband took child #1 and 3 to the cafe to do their homework, while child #2 and I went to check out the awesome display of Hobbit swag. While we were perusing it, I suddenly noticed a very small display with a purple Furby sitting on the floor nearby. I couldn't believe it! I had been trying to find a "Voodoo Purple" Furby for a few weeks, because child #3, (who still believes in Santa) really, really wants one. It's first on her list. I got down on the floor and said,
"Hey, Farrah, look, a purple Furby!" Oh, I thought, the box is kind of busted up and it's a bit dirty, but as my hands reached out to grab it, they caught only air. Because now standing in front of me, was a grey-haired, suit and tie wearing tool, holding MY purple Furby in his clutches. He grabbed it right out of my hands!
I looked up and said, "Really?" because I couldn't believe this tool just snatched it from my hands!
And he replied, "That's how it is!" What, a D-bag.
At this point, I knew I was dealing with a sub-par human being. Arguing with this lesser being in front of Child #2, would only lower me to his position . Especially when Child #2 asks:
"Mom, can I hurt him?" (I thought it was very polite of her to ask...)
But I still said, "Um, NO." (She wasn't happy, but went on to ask...)
"OK then, can I go get Daddy so he can really hurt him?"
At the mention of "Daddy" suit and tie wearing tool started to back-pedal...
"My kid really wants one and I've been searching the Internet and couldn't find a purple one
(Immediately I thought, yeah, dude, I'm sitting here on the floor of Barnes & Noble, with a fever, on my birthday, because I wanted a purple Furby, all for myself. Jack-hole!@!)
Child #2 who always has my cell phone, rolled her eyes, and began texting her father. I knew if The Husband was added to this scenario, NO good would come of it. So, I said,
"You should walk away. Now."
He looked at me like I had two heads. I repeated myself.
"Go. Right now, before I change my mind and I let my ten year old kick your ass sideways." (This, is my favorite part...He smirked.)
In a blink, Child #2 dropped her books to the floor, raised her fists and took a fighter's stance. Something about the practiced way she moved, and her serious intent, made him take a STEP BACK. (I know, what a pud...right?) Or maybe he thought to himself, "Holy crap, if this is the kid, what the hell is The Father like?"
Whatever his reasoning, the tool ran. And it was a good thing he did too. Because I have no doubt in my mind, my daughter Farrah, would have wiped the floor with that D-bag! And holy crap if The Husband had seen what went down a few minutes earlier, LORD have mercy! There would have been no pieces of D-bag left to pick up...
I'm proud of myself for telling him to walk away before he got hurt, caused a scene and I sent my daughter the wrong kind of Christmas message. Keeping things contained and going the classy route, always turns out for the best anyway.
After he walked away, a supremely awesome teenage girl in a Batman sweatshirt walked up and told me she saw everything.. She said she was sorry he was such a butt munch and handed me a VOODOO PURPLE FURBY in a pristine box that she found hidden behind the display of the one he stole! Ha.
#3. I told The Husband not to buy me anything for my birthday because I have been sick again and unable to work, so we are short on petty cash. He didn't listen. And I'm glad. Because he found this book at Goodwill for $3.00 and I absolutely LURVE it!
#4. Thank you precious Kitty, Mommy just loved her 2:00 a.m. wake-up call and birthday present.
There you have it. Well, it couldn't possibly be my birthday, if it didn't involve crazy, right?
Wishing everyone a very wonderful weekend! ~Jaybird