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Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Chubby Swagger


This dude reeks havoc on my garden.  His favorite things to eat are my green peppers and tomatoes. He  also loves to come up as close as he possibly can to the window just to torment my cat.  I should hate him. But I can't. He is  absolutely hilarious. I have never seen anything like him. He is a brazen, daring  and entertaining as heck. 


My house is surrounded by woods, so I get all kinds of creatures that venture into the yard. None have been as bold. The wildlife usually darts away the second we spot them. Not this guy. Nope, it's almost like he craves all of the attention.

My girls think he is the funniest thing they've ever seen. They say he acts out  like a bad child, doing naughty and negative things for attention. What they love most about him, is the way he sits and waits for us to pay attention, shows us what he's done wrong, and then s-l-o-w-l-y waddles away. He shakes his enormous booty from left to right and takes his sweet time. Like he's daring us to come follow him.

Yesterday, Frankie, my youngest said, "Hey mom, we really need to name that psycho wood chuck."

Faith, my oldest suggested, "Woody or Waldo."

But my middle daughter, Farrah said, "No  way. Those are normal wood chuck names. This dude is NOT NORMAL. He's hilarious. And he's just like me."

I asked, "What do you mean?"

She said, "He's got an attitude. Like he knows he's cool. He's got chubby swagger, just like me."

After we all fell out laughing, we had our name. Say hello to our little friend  Chubby Swagger!

What would you describe as your best personality trait? Do you have "Chubby  Swagger" or something else that defines you? What sets you apart?  How do other people describe you? Drop  me a comment, I'd  like to know.

20 comments:

  1. Ha, ha ... Chubby Swagger. Great name for him!
    Our groundhogs are not bold enough to look in our windows, although I once had a possum check out our living room through the sliding glass door on the deck.

    I was distracted (writing on my laptop of course) and at first I thought it was the cat wanting in. I got halfway to the door before I realized the cat was already in, his hair standing straight up. I flicked on the outside light and -- ugh! -- the creature peering in at me was a great big possum.

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    1. Oh my gosh Dianne- that's so funny! And a little frightening. I heard that possums are nasty. Good thing it didn't get into your house!

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  2. Our neighborhood cleared out the brush under the trees next to the creek and apparently drove all of the wildlife under my porch. We found snake eggs this year too - big ones, but I haven't seen a snake yet. My peas, beans, peppers, and green beans were apparently delicious and got eated down to the stem early in the summer. All I have left is tomatoes and Swiss chard.

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    1. Ewww! Giant snake eggs? I would freak. Not a fan of the reptile.

      Sorry about your garden. It is so frustrating to work so hard on something and watch it all disappear. Now that I know who's been hitting mine up, I am resigned to it. (I am not sure how we could get rid of Chubby Swag humanely, or at all, at this point because my girls think of him as a pet, LOL)

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  3. I TOTALLY have chubby swagger!

    I think he is so cute. I want one even though I'm sure he's a menace.

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    1. Isn't that great? I am so proud of my daughter for loving herself for who she is, and OWNING it.

      He is a little devil for eating up my garden, yet I can't help but smile when I see him. LOL

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  4. Replies
    1. Right? I laughed so hard when she came up with it. It perfectly describes her though.

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  5. Your kids are hilarious. I'm probably more of a Chubby Stumble or Chubby Crawl than a Chubby Swagger. LOL.

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    1. I cracked up when Farrah busted out with it, but it's totally true. She is chubby but so full of swag. Love it!

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  6. Oh my goodness, he is adorable. I wish we got wildlife like that here. And what an awesome name for him! :D

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    1. He's too funny, isn't he? I know I should be mad, cause of the garden, but he is hilarious, so, I'm dealing with it.

      We get all kinds of wildlife here, because of the woods surrounding my home. I've seen lots of deer, coyote, hawks, eagles, moles, groundhogs, rabbits, feral cats, possums, skunks, raccoons. We also have tons of turtles and frogs. It's crazy. They are always tearing into our garbage, which is a giant pain.

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  7. Oh man, I love Chubby Swagger! He is so cute. I love those naughty woodchucks. In college, we had a lot of woodchucks that we could see outside our dorm and we would watch them play all the time :)

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    1. They are really funny to watch. Never saw one quite like him though. He just strolls along my garden, picking the green peppers, taking his time, snacking on a tomatoe or two, like he's at the food store. LOL

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  8. I'm sorry if he is destroying your peppers, but OMG he is adorable!

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    1. Hi Donna! Thanks so much for popping in and for the follow. And yeah, Chubby Swag is darn lucky he's so cute.

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  9. I'm in the same boat. We've got a ton of these things running around here, and they destroy everything, but I'll be damned if they aren't cute, full of personality, and not afraid to push your buttons. Chubby Swagger is absolutely a fitting name.

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