I have been working on my WIP for way too long now. I typed THE END eons ago. But I am not satisfied. I should be at the point where I hold many, many agent rejections in my hand. Instead, I have been
When I finished working on my manuscript, I was madly in love with it. At times, I sobbed at the emotion it brought forth. Other times, I was literally laughing so hard I couldn't type and almost fell out of my chair, because I found it so freaking hilarious. I was really proud of my work. But I woke up recently doubting absolutely everything about it. Everything! And I started to hate it. Just like my hair.
My hair used to be long and shiny and oh so, pretty. It was thick and a deep, dark brown, with natural highlights that deserved their own Pantene commercial. (I kid you not.) And I loved it! It was the one feature about myself I was proud of. I could always count on DISTANCE and HAIR, to be my best assets!
But now, oy! I hate my hair with a passion. It has lost all of its former beauty. There is no glossy shine to make others envious. It's coarse and dry and for the love of God, would someone PLEASE tell my greys that they are not supposed to reappear for another six to eight weeks? Ugh. Rationally, I know my hair issues are due to stress and a side effect of my crap auto-immune disease. BUT, that doesn't make me hate it any less. Now I use scarves, hats, head bands, flowers and lots of bows and things to compensate for my deficient hair. When I look in the mirror, I am riddled with insecurity and I wonder if I will ever be able to find a love for it again. Just like my WIP.
As I am introduced to my writer friends blogs, characters, WIPS and novels through various contests and hops, I am chock full of fear, self-doubt and wild insecurity. I doubt my ability to contribute anything of worth, at all. I want to scrap it all. I want to go hide my horrible head of hair in shame (like my little ostrich bird friend below) for ever considering myself a writer!
Has anyone else ever felt this way? If you did, how in the world did you overcome it? Did any of you ever love your WIP one day and then wake up hating it with a passion the next? Did you go back and try to patch it up with ribbons, bows, head bands and flowers, or did you start all over again?