#1. FICTION. I never worked as a teller. Apparently, if you owe any debts (i.e. credit cards or student loans) you can't work at a bank. So, that pretty much leaves Jaybird out indefinitely!
#2. FACT. You better believe I WON that bet! I took a huge risk, but I have always had a HUGE appetite and I banked on the fact that I can eat just about anyone under the table. (I can still eat as much as a sumo wrestler, but if I continued to eat like that now I would wind up looking like one too!) But I digress. I beat men twice my age who out-weighed me by at least a hundred and fifty pounds! I housed one entire pepperoni pizza and was one slice shy of finishing another whole plain pie, (not a piddly Dominoes size large either, but giant sized, New York style pies) AND THEN I finished an entire gallon of Breyer's Chocolate Ice Cream. Some of the bigger guys came close to beating me with the pizza, but they all FAILED miserably, when it came to desert. Lightweights!
#4. FACT. Jaybird actually worked for/with lawyers for close to fifteen years. I'd like to say that first lawyer I worked for was the worst, but I went on to work for another who was just as bad, if not worse. Remarkably, the partner of that first jerk I worked for was a real stand up guy, who I actually learned to respect and like. When their partnership dissolved, no one was surprised. It was an awful situation-very similar to a divorce. They fought all the time about who was going to get what fax machine, coffee pot, computer, etc. and who was going to go with who. Both lawyers fought over custody of me, but I told them
1. My FIRST WEEK, I opened a closet door and a man fell out! I thought he was dead and I was totally freaked out. But after I screamed, his mouth fell open and he started snoring!! I caught a good whiff of his breath and realized he was not dead, but completely wasted. He had passed out in the closet and all of his friends checked out and LEFT HIM in there. Brilliant!
2. A minute after I entered a house, a policeman started banging on the door. When I answered the door, he pulled me outside and told me I could not go back in and I must cease and desist doing my job because that house was now the subject of an investigation. It was an open CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION!
3.Once, I walked in on a couple who were supposed to be gone, (like three days before...) Let's just say I saw WAY more of those two, than I ever wanted to. When they saw me, they were not embarrassed (like I was) AT ALL. They only stopped long enough to ask if I'd like to JOIN THEM.
As always, thank you all so much for all of your continued interest/participation in my Friday Fact or Fiction. (a/k/a the crazy I call my life)