Yesterday, my daughters were out playing in our yard. (Our yard backs up to woods.)The oldest came in telling tales of "seeing someone" out in the woods. Normally, this is nothing I would dismiss or joke about. But when The Husband
Armed with the description of Lord Cuckoo Face from her favorite Madeline books, The Husband, went out and performed an extremely thorough perimeter search. He found nothing. No footprints, no disturbance in the foliage around the trees, no animal prints, none of his booby traps had been detonated... nothing. Trust me, if man or beast had set one paw in those woods, threatening the safety of his little girls, they would wish they hadn't. He came back inside and announced a lack of evidence. The girls kept insisting that they saw something. The Husband promised everything was alright, our perimeter had NOT been breached and all was good with the world again. He spoke to them a bit longer, but I was busy prepping for dinner and not the end of the world, so I kinda
It's not the first, (and certainly won't be the last) time he's spoken to them about stranger danger. The Husband does not believe in coddling the girls. He has made them well aware of what kind of creepers are out in this world. My girls "theoretically" know how to defend themselves in just about every scenario imaginable. I have protested. I have tried to get him to take it easy and convince him they don't need to be this well equipped, they are not MARINES. So let's just say, it's an argument we agree to disagree on.
I did not think about the stranger in the woods again, since I thought it had been put to rest. The Husband went off to harass criminals (a/k/a work) and I was making lunch when the girls asked if they could go out in the yard to play. I said yes, and off they went. Mind you, they were all wearing pink tutus, armed for dance, not war games, so I was thrown off. A few minutes later, armed with nothing but their lunch and juice boxes, I went out to join them. They were up to something, I could sense that much. A very serious pow wow was taking place, inside their castle fort.
Heads bowed, pink tutus up, they were really
concentrating on whatever it was they were doing. I crept closer to see what they were about. When I saw what they were doing, I crapped a brick. They had a list, and had collected a number of items on it already. The items collected were:
Garlic powder, black pepper, red chili powder..uh, huge RED FLAG!!!!
Everything had been pilfered from my spice rack, right under my nose, without my knowledge. Their stealthy pilfering skills wasn't the only thing that scared the shiz out of me. They had collected the main ingredients used in homemade PEPPER SPRAY!!
First, I thought hard about sneaking up on my girls, ever, ever, again. Then, I gave them a lecture on how dangerous mixing chemicals is and how they are punished pretty much forever.
The oldest defended herself, and argued a little with me. "Daddy taught us to always be prepared! We were JUST gonna make some pepper spray, in case someone tries to come back into our woods!"
(DISCLAIMER: For those of you who are crying "child abuse" The Husband DID NOT tell the girls to mix chemicals in our backyard to defend it. He is a fanatic, but he's not CRAZY...)
While I was confiscating all of their ingredients, my little one picked up her juice pouch and tore into her lunch, completely unaffected by my admonitions. She looked at her sisters and in all seriousness said,
"Don't worry guys, we always have HAND TO HAND if we need to take somebody out!"