I'm certain tons of people will judge me for this post, but, as usual, I don't really care. I am freaking out because my little kitty, Princess Filamena Joy, is at the vet, getting spayed, right now.
I know, I know, I shouldn't be freaking out because it's a routine surgery, and cats get spayed every single day. But not my little kitty, who has come to mean so much to me. She is my constant. I can hardly stand to sit here and feel the sick absence of the slight weight and warmth of her body, and the sound of her wheezy little purr as she snoozes away, peacefully in my lap.
She always, always, falls asleep on me while I write. That's just how I roll. A cup of coffee to my right, a cat napping on my lap, and my fingers flying over the keyboard. The absolute quiet of the house is unnerving, and her absence is making me feel all kinds of sketch.
When the four of us, (myself and my three little girls) dropped Mena off this morning, it was redonculous. We couldn't stop with the kissing, hugging, petting, and making sure she had her fav stuffed animal and her special blankie for comfort. None of us wanted to leave. But I fear I was the worst offender of us all.
Again, I know, as the mom, I should be setting a better example, but I failed. I cried. Yep, I cried first. Then the girls started. I dropped them off at school and can only hope that their minds are better occupied at present, than mine. Because my thoughts keep going back and obsessing on the cat. Is she going to be ok? Will she be in a lot of pain? How long will they keep her? When will they call and tell me she's going to be alright? Enough already. But I can't stop myself from worrying. I tried.
Every single time I have EVER judged anyone, it's come back to bite me in the ass, HARD. How I jumped so far into "crazy cat lady" territory, it's frightening. But I'm honest enough to admit, there was a time, when I mocked and laughed at crazy cat ladies for their psychosis. Yeouch. This time, it hurt, really, really, bad, when my booty got bit by the judgement bug.
So here I sit, painfully catless, biting my nails, waiting for some good news. And out lots of money for purchasing a First Class ticket on the crazy cat lady train.