Oh what a beautiful morning it had started out to be today. Isn't it funny how quickly things can change? It started out with the sun shining and the birds singing and then ahhh, the sound of my middle child squealing at the top of her lungs.
Me: "What's wrong?"
Child: "I need a folder for Health and if I don't bring it in today, I'll get an F."
Me:"Um, you waited until ten minutes before the bus comes to tell me you need a folder, today?"
Now, being the wonderfully enabling mother that I am, I did what any other enabling mother would do in my position; I ran around the house like a lunatic trying to find a folder for her. The only folders I know I can put my hands on in five minutes are mine and I have exactly three. One I keep all of my work papers/stuff in, the second I put all of my writing stuff in, like my research, story lines and any other misc. info that pertains to writing and the third I keep all of my household papers and crap in. In any event, to offer her any one of these three very important folders of mine was very kind of me. She failed to see it that way. I quickly ran back downstairs with three minutes to spare and handed her folder number one, now emptied of all of my work papers. I temporarily transferred the papers into folder number two. It went something like this.
Me: "Here, take this one."
Child: "Are you kidding me?"
Me: "No. What?"
Child: "Wolverine? Mom, really?"
Me: "What's wrong with Wolverine?"
Child: "I'm not a boy and I'm not obsessed with him like you are."
Me: "So what, you need a folder."
Child: "Don't you have any others?"
Secretly, I was a little happy because I didn't really want to give up my Marvel Comics folder with Wolverine on the cover. Do you know how long it took me to find him? Anyway, I ran back upstairs and brought down folder number two. Now it's contents have been removed and stuffed into folder number three.
Me: "Here, take this instead."
Child: "Have you lost your mind?"
Me: "What now?"
Child: "Mom, really?"
Me: "What's the problem?"
Child: "Wonder Woman!"
Me: "She's a strong and powerful, outspoken, Amazon woman. You should relate."
Child: "Mom, the kids will make fun of me."
Me: "No they won't. Wonder Woman is cool."
Child: "Not in my class. Don't you have ANYTHING without a comic book hero on it?"
I hesitated, knowing she wasn't going to like option number three any more than one or two.
Child: "Who's on it mom?"
Me: "Goth Hello Kitty."
Child: "Bah. I have the most childish mom in the whole world. I'd rather get an F than get laughed at."
Now at this point I'm getting pissed. She's insulted me, is being less than gracious and all because she not only disapproves of my choices, but is afraid of what the other kids will think of her. (I want her to know better, and being that I needed to be reminded of that lesson again myself, just last week, see "My 20year High School Reunion blog entry) I admit it, I lost my patience. I yelled at her for waiting until the last minute and how she should be grateful to me for offering her any folders of mine at all. I also reminded her how she shouldn't care so much about what anyone else thinks of her. I said, "Girls, mommy's proud of my Wolverine and Wonder Woman and little pink Hello Kitty folders (even if I'm old) because I don't care what other people think."
With all of the yelling and screaming going on, it has roused Daddy from sleep. He quickly hears the problem and goes in search of some of his folders. Hopeful, once again, that she might still have a chance of getting a folder to school that is non-embarrassing my middle child waited with baited breath for what seemed an eternity.
Child: "Surely, Dad's folder couldn't be worse than one of mom's."
Clearly, she was wrong. The husband came back holding a folder with Yoda on the cover that said, "Size Matters Not."
Child: Rolls her eyes and says, "Now I know why you two got married."
- Jersey Shore, United States
- In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.