About Me

My photo
Jersey Shore, United States
In case any of my friends or family members actually read this Blog, please consider all Names, Characters, Places and Incidents to be the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely COINCIDENTAL...Muaaah!! Now, really, about me: I bring the crazy wherever I go, so I've been told...I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever could. I hate: the awkward silence in elevators, watches with no numbers, picky eaters, Cancer and legalism. I love: coffee, stalking Hugh Jackman, my Spanx, COMMENTS, sarcasm and writing: Middle Grade, NA, YA Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.

Total Pageviews

Thursday, October 28, 2010

My 20 Year High School Reunion





When I first received notification of my 20 year reunion and I responded, "yes" to attend, I felt paralyzed by one emotion and one emotion only, FEAR. Fear of what I look like! I've had three kids in three years and unlike a lot of my fabulous friends, I've never had any botox injections or any other cosmetic surgeries to speak of. I was fearful of my weight, I was fearful of what I should wear, I was fearful of what I would say and I was fearful of who all was going be there. My vanity was obviously at the forefront of all the fear I was feeling....and it started me down the road of very unnecessary anxiety, drama and nonsense, all for nothing.

Now that it's all said and done, I'm so ashamed of myself! I'm ashamed that over the past few months I barely ate a thing and I exercised like a maniac. I'm embarrassed to admit how much time and effort I wasted on picking out something to wear! I lamented my decision like I was going to the Academy Awards and worried myself into no sleep. I know better than that! I counsel people all the time against such stupidity and yet here I was, acting like the stupidest idiot of all time. So I must ask myself, in all honestly, when will I learn? When will I learn, it's not about me? When will I learn substance over form? When will I learn to love me for me? All I should have been concerned with was reconnecting with old friends and having an epic evening out with the husband, sans kids. Again, I'm ashamed to admit that up until I walked through the doors of the reunion, all I focused on was ME.

I was being ridiculous. Absolutely, positively, ridiculous! I know that now, but it took me way too long to figure it out. The reunion was absolutely wonderful and I was so happy to see so many of my old and dear friends. The husband and I had an incredible evening! We had such a good time I'm still smiling and hoarse and it's almost a week later! What was I so hung up about? Geez.

Let me take a moment to point out, just how patient and gracious our amazing God is! I want to tell you how incredibly grateful I am for the awesome God we serve. I need to take the time to thank Him for His Grace and His gentle way of correcting me (and others) when we are blinded by our own stupidity! And, as always, I'm thankful for His awesome sense of humor that always lends itself to these ridiculous situations I get myself into.

Our time is so short on this earth and the years fly by so quickly. Before you know it, I will be looking at an invitation to my 30th reunion. I pray I have learned my lesson so next time, I'm filled with the joy and anticipation of seeing old friends instead of being filled with dread and fear about something as ridiculous as "what am I going to wear?"

No comments:

Post a Comment